Saturday Shatterday

Er........

'Shatterday' as in 'shattered' due to tiredness, and NOT a fake past-tense colloquial term for lack of bowel control! Perhaps Gym Ninja didn't think through today's blog title properly? She was just trying to make a change from her usual 'Saturday Slaughter Session' title that's all!

So...GN yet AGAIN went to bed late last night as half the evening was taken up by her meticulously putting together a spreadsheet to chart her body composition. GN loves charts/lists/records of stuff. It's the geek in her.  She used her Tanita Innerscan BC545 Body Composition scales for the second time since she shelled out silly money for them a couple of months or so ago. She is now determined to use them on a weekly basis to monitor how well her nutrition & training are doing (or indeed how badly if the results show negatively?). The reason she hadn't done so recently is that, to her shame, she'd not even done her weekly weigh-in since a fortnight before Christmas!

Luckily, weight increase was about 3-4lbs but surprisingly her body fat was now 4% lower! Golly. Does this in fact mean that Gym Ninja's regime is working correctly? She does hope so! However she will weigh herself weekly at the same time for a month to determine the fluctuations that can happen with body composition, before celebrating her low body fat! Oh, and she won't bore you with individual arm/leg/torso measurements and %s and muscle mass, water %, visceral fat, bone density, Resting metabolic Rate and Metabolic age....(Gym Ninja will save that for another day!)

So today GN headed out to the gym for her Saturday Slaughter session. She'd not done one of these for 2 whole weeks so was looking forward to doing a Spin Class again. On route she listened to the Scott Mills Radio One Podcast and to her delight, discovered her 'Dear Scott' email had been read out on air on Thursday. HOW exciting!  (Sorry-she didn't find the direct link to the iTunes podcast for you to click on, but go look anyway...see if you can guess which email was from Gym Ninja?)

She arrived late at the gym so only had time for a 5 minute warm up and a shot of 'Target' energy shot, (the blue one if you follow the link) before heading up to the Spin Studio.  Already in there, apart from a few gym towels reserving bikes like Germans around a pool, was the Spin Instructor. He was new to Gym Ninja and as she passed him she asked if he planned on working them hard today? Well, Gym Ninja has to ask-after all, not all Spin Instructors are created equal!

Much to her surprise, the instructor was very forthcoming. He went into detail about how it would be a hill-based climb session with some sprints thrown in, and that as he is a mountain biker himself, he can use his experience to give us all a good workout. Gym Ninja and Spin Man chatted for some time as the others came into the class (Bread Head and Clippy to name but two regulars).  Gym Ninja then asked the 'crucial' question....

GN: "So, this is an hours class. Will you be doing a whole hour or just 45 minutes, as some of the others cut the class down to 45 minutes and we don't realise until we are outside and it's only 10.45am!"


The Spin Man looked confused. Luckily this was because he didn't realise that there were others that cut the class down. He planned on working us for the whole hour.

"That's great! No point being here if you're not going to work for a whole hour is there?" Explained Gym Ninja, looking across at her fellow Spin-ees (for want of a better name) hoping for agreement and nodding.
Gym Ninja was met by a room full of sullen faces, glaring at her. WTF? Why would you go to an hours class hoping NOT to do an hour of exercise? What IS the point of going? It's not Double Maths, whereby you do hope the teacher will let you out early. This is for OUR benefit.

So they began...and the music and class structure was great. Perhaps it was due to the energy shot prior to the session or maybe because GN has not done it for 2 weeks, but she found it challenging yet not too tough. Next time she will add on additional resistance to ensure she virtually trickles out of the studio as a melted version of her  former self. No point doing it unless you push yourself to the extreme.

A quick 20 minutes of the Stair Climber followed...GN is trying to catch up on her cardio quota and wanted to take a break from her cardio intervals to trick her body a bit. As she did the climb, she watched the latest muscle dissection lecture on her iPhone (yes, it was replaced with a new one-remind GN to tell you all about the humiliating visit to Apple yesterday!)

Then it was time for LEGS!  Gym Ninja decided to pre-exhaust the quads by rattling out 3 sets of leg extensions. It was tough going, not helped by a guy the height of a prize-winning sunflower cutting through the gap and walking directly in front of her as she raised her legs to full extension, thus booting him in the thighs! Next up, was the Hammer Incline Leg Press. As she walked over to it, she noticed an old guy ransacking the storage part of the machine. He was stripping off all the 25kg plates and taking them over to the Hammer Strength ab crunch machine.

Oi Granddad! Stop that! Gym Ninja needs some bloody weight plates herself you know! But he didn't take a blind bit of notice and loaded on 4 x 25kg plates on the lower part and another 4 x 25kg plates on the upper part of the machine. She then watched as he hauled his arms and legs together in a dual crunch like movement, dragging the weights with him. His face turned red as his blood pressure must have rocketed. Hmm, the only thing getting a workout in there was his blood vessels and his arms!!!!  Humph! Gym Ninja then had to forage around the gym area for weight plates until she had enough for 120kgs.

Once her sets and reps were complete she hobbled over to the womens section to do some Bulgarian Split Squats & Romanian Deadlifts. The, grabbing a stability ball (yeh, ironic eh seeing as how much GN harps on about hating them) she began some Stability Ball Planks. Effectively you get the plank position yet your upper body rests on the ball, and you grip onto it for grim life as you roll side to side like a buffoon. Yeh, you may LOOk stupid but it does the job!  Just as she was finishing up her last set, a voice boomed hello at her through the noise of her iPod.
T'was Spin Man. He wanted to know what she though of today's class. Wow. The guy wanted feedback!  How marvelous! GN then ended up in a big long conversation with Spin Man about various levels of professional fitness people's techniques, people who eat and drink nonsense, the perils of bad instructors and so on...yeh, GN even managed to harp on about her mega crush Jack Lalanne too!

Ooops-sorry. Did you notice the pause? Gym Ninja set up the Jack Lalanne link for you and then ended up reading through his 'feats and achievements' again. Goddamit, why can't Gym Ninja be Jack Lalanne's friend?

On that obsessive note, GN needs to head off and stalk Jack Lalanne...

Have a great weekend-be back here tomorrow or else!

Gym Ninja x

Ninja Pie!

No!!!!!

 Not an actual pie.  Gym Ninja does not do 'pie'. Think more 'pie chart'. Think 'divisions of a whole.' Think percentages. Stop before you  get to Venn Diagrams as they are neither use nor ornament. No. Go back a step and get to percentages and then....can you guess? Can you?

Yep. Gym Ninja finally took the Tanita Body Composition scales out of the box...and 'stepped on them!'. Yep. Gym Ninja now knows a veritable pie chart of facts about what she is 'made up' of. .... .... Give or take natural fluctuations, wonky floor tiles, too much liquid prior to weighing, too little liquid prior to weighing, the direction of the suns rays, the colour of butterfly wings...OK, so it is never 100% accurate but it gives Gym Ninja a clue as to whether she is on the right track...

It took a fair bit of doing though. Gym Ninja used to weigh herself every Saturday morning after she'd hopped out of bed., but has not done so for a month. Plus she had been eating like a horse recently so was a tad concerned! Plus, ladies, the Tanita scales insist that for accuracy you must NOT use them within 3 hours of food, sleep or workout! That means...weighing without being dehydrated and empty of food (the way us women like to be weighed!!!). EEEK! She would have to get up, eat breakfast and then 3 hours later, weigh herself. Cripes!

So Gym Ninja had an idea. Today she hopped out of bed and hit the normal bathroom scales as per usual. PHEW! Weight pretty much the same. This is her 'control' so now she knows whatever the Tanita scales say, she is similar in weight to how she was before. Gym Ninja proceeded to then have a Promax smoothie for breakfast...let's not tempt fate eh?

She clock watched as she did her admin from home. Then, at 11.40am precisely, Gym Ninja became naked Ninja and stepped on the scales, pulling up the special handles so that the scales would measure her entire body...

The scales are fab. Gym Ninja loves gadgets and these are fantastic. They allow you to set 4 people's user details in such a age, gender, activity level (Gym Ninja programmed herself in under the athlete label as she correctly matched her details in the handbook which suggested she did this).  The scales would then test for the following, and when it came to muscle mass and body fat, would also show individual arm, leg and (elephants) trunk readings as well as collective readings. OOOOOOH! It then records the details and you can refer back to them. There is also a guest mode. Tanita must know you will harp on about this so drunken friends will then insist on trying them, stripping naked in your bathroom.

So...the scales would tell Gym Ninja the following:

Body Weight as in the normal 'OMG how can this be, I hardly ate anything yesterday' type reading.
She registered 4 lbs more as she was not dehydrated and 'empty' ahem! So she measured 8 stone 8lbs.

Total Body Fat registered as 15.6%.
It then gave breakdowns of percentages for her limbs and trunk. Remarkably, she discovered that her right leg is a fattie compared to her left leg. 'Righty' measures at 18.4% fat whilst 'Leftie' measures only 16.3%.
Who knew?  Oh it gave arm readings & torso too but next time Gym Ninja will give individual readings, as she is too tired today!

Total Body Water registered at 62.4% which is normal

Visceral Fat measured on a scale of 1-59 with 1-12 being healthy. Gym Ninja scored 1. YAY!

Basal Metabolic Rate the cals allowed just to stay alive is 1350 kcals.

Metabolic Age which is the average age associated with metabolism  came out at 20! This is fantastic as Gym Ninja is not 20.


Muscle Mass came out as a total in stones. Gym Nina weighs in at 6 stone 12.6lbs of sheer muscle!  The rest  is 'bits and bobs'. Again, individual arm/leg/torso results too.

Bone Mass came out at 5lbs. This is in the right zone apparently according to the book so Gym Ninja is not a honeycomb inside.

Exciting stuff no? Gym Ninja will try it weekly and then start to see where the variations are and then begin to use it to monitor her fitness results. Increase the weights and then see what happens on the scales. Marvelous!!!!!!!!   Gym Ninja is harping on about these scales SO much she may have a word with the company she bought them off to see if they can organize a discount for you? She will report back if successful on this mission of mercy.............

OK. Gym Ninja needs to go now as there is some low fat peanut butter calling her name.  She thinks Fattie Right Leg is the culprit who craves it then stashes it away!

Have a good day!!!!!

'He who eat too many prunes, sits on potty many moons'


Gym Ninja x

Gadgets Galore!

Today, Gym Ninja became Gadget Ninja.

To be fair, Gym Ninja is always Gadget Ninja, yet this is not a gadget blog, so she hushes her mouth.  So why mention it? Well, they are gadgets for health and fitness, which is right up your street, no? If not, why else would you be dropping by? I guess if you didn't, we'd only talk about you!     ;-)  

So what did Gadget Ninja decide to regale you with today? Three gadgets. How terribly exciting! She would have regaled you with a trip to the gym, but was yet again SABOTAGED by something in her own home. A bowl. Yes, in her haste to get a bowl out to decant her Maximuscle Promax frozen sorbet protein mix, she smacked herself in the lip with it, causing a bit of a cut and swelling. Ow. So back to the gadgety stuff......

The first, is the ever wonderful, splendid and tremendous Tanita BB 545 Innerscan Body Composition Monitor...   Huh? What's that? Ahhhh... scales that measure what % of you wobbles, flexes and sloshes. Body Composition at the advanced level.  Just when you thought you would never get more hung up on how many Kilos you weight, there comes along a potential way of justifying (or berating) your weight gain/loss.  It's a tricky old subject. Very difficult to accurately monitor your true body composition short of dunking you in a big tank of water like a giant Tetley Tea Bag (although to be fair, it is a tad  more technical than how Gym Ninja describes it here). But Tanita are very highly regarded in their field, and this is no cheap Body Composition Monitor. No sireebob!

Gym Ninja knows what you are thinking right now. He's a good looking chap on the box, no? But let us drag your dirty eyes off the fake man on the box and instead look on the back of the box to give us a better idea of what it does and what to expect.  In a Ninja nutshell, it assists the Ninja in monitoring the changes in her fitness regime, along with the effects of her nutrition and supplementation programme. Has she been genuinely adding lean muscle and stripping away the body fat, which is why the scales have moved up? Or is she in fact, a Ninja shaped stack of blubber with a few bones and blood vessels mushed up in the core?  We will soon learn...

The Tanita BC 545's monitor the following:

Body Fat % and Muscle Mass by 'segments' (a bit like a chocolate orange yet less chocolately). A segment is an arm, leg, and trunk (if you are an elephant).

BMR which is Basal Metabolic 'Age', which then gives you a calorie reading for what you need to eat to keep you alive..ALIVE I say.....!

Visceral Fat...the blubbery stuff protecting  (or suffocating, depending on the amount) your internal organs.

Bone Mass...are you strong and healthy or a bit like a Crunchie Bar?

% of Total Water...do you slosh when you walk?

Oh...it also tells you your weight. How terribly old school....!

So what's Gym Ninja's readings I hear you ask? Slowly Slowly catch the fatty monkey, as they say. Gym Ninja has yet to build up the nerve to try these stupendous scales. Needs to be in the 'right' frame of mind the first time she tries it..a  bit like shopping for jeans.  But watch this space, as Gym Ninja didn't splash out on these solely for the beefcake on the front of the box!!!!!

Gadget Number 2 is..

The iPhone 3GS.

Oooooooooh! To be fair, do not assume Gym Ninja is backward. She has an iPhone already, but hers is 17 months old *gasp* and in need of an upgrade to the 'disguise-busting' white model. In hindsight this will make it harder for a black-clad Ninja to seamlessly blend into the background...but hell. It's sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo amazing!  The gadget part comes into the Apps. Ooodles of Apps of a Health & Fitness Persuasion to monitor your workouts, your food intake, and even an app to show you the side effects of various e-numbers and chemical additives in foods.  Gym Ninja must now walk away from this paragraph for fear of becoming obsessed...

So the final Gadget? OK, so it isn't a gadget in itself. It is a book... see?

Yep. Gym Ninja's 2010 obsession coming to a blog near you. The gadget (if you will) is a skipping rope and this book describes good old 'Buddy' (!) as 'a wizard of the rope'. Just who of us out there would pass up a chance to be described as a 'wizard of the rope?' Hell, Gym Ninja would settle for being a 'Fairy of Skipping' right now. So she will start to read the book....and digest the facts...and then pass them all on to you. if you then refuse to join it too, she will hunt you all down and give you all Chinese Burns until you do........and then we can all do the 'X-Foot Cross', or the 'Full Twister' moves together.

Happy? It was a bit health and fitness related after all no?

Gym Ninja is signing off for tonight. Hopefully tomorrow she will have an exercise story for you. Until then...remember this saying...

'Man who stand on toilet is high on pot...'

Gym Ninja