Saturday Slaughter is back baby!

Lookey lookey! A gym blog!

YAY! Finally!

Yep, 2 weekends ago Gym Ninja hit up her usual Saturday Slaughter Session. Ahh, it' s always good to start the weekend working up a sweat of some sort.  Gym Ninja dragged herself out of bed, packed her bag (well, her GYM bag-she wasn't running away from home remember) & set out for the gym. 


At the gym reception, a burly man was stood blocking the entrance, whistling along awkwardly to Madonna's Get Into The Groove. SO wrong a song choice to whistle along to Mr! Anyway, on with the story. Gym Ninja stuffed her gym bag into the locker and after a quick warm up went upstairs towards the Spin Studio, an hour of hardcore sweating awaiting her...


OMG!

Sat on Gym Ninja's regular 'creature of habit I do not like change' spin bike.....was .... a girl.


Whoah there lady! You must be new? GYM NINJA sits on that bike! ........


Sat on the bike next to Gym Ninja's now STOLEN bike was Dangly Cross Man. Now that was a betrayal and a half as he knew that was Gym Ninja's bike Goddamit! Why didn't he protect it?


With eyes the size of saucers due to incredulity of the situation (Dangly should have prevented the poor innocent woman from  stealing Gym Ninja's place in front of the aircon vent) Gym Ninja slinked further into the room.  The Spin Instructor greeted her with a 'where have YOU been lately' comment &  smile.


"Er, more importantly, what's going on HERE?" Gestured Gym Ninja, waggling her hand towards the stolen bike.


"Ahh, she's ok. She's my mate." Smiled the Spin Instructor. 


Great. Pfft!


Next minute...


"HEY! ... YOU NEED TO GET OFF THE BIKE! GYM NINJA SITS THERE AND SHE WANTS YOU OFF HER BIKE!"


Gee thanks Spin Instructor. How 'terribly' subtle.


The girl turned and looked at GN.  


"Oh sorry, shall I get off it?"  


Gym Ninja looked at the girl. Bugger.


"No no, don't be silly, it's not MY bike. It's just that I usually always every single week sit there, that's all. It's not 'mine' per say . Stay where you are, honestly, it's not a problem."


*cue forced smile*


"Are you sure? I can get off it you know. It's no problem". 


At this, the bike thief started to dismount.


Uhh.


You know when you WANT them to do it? To get off the bike? Yet you know you can't actually allow them to do so for fear of being rumbled in terms of how pedantic you are?


Pfft.


With a casual 'it really doesn't matter' wave, Gym Ninja sat on another bike. 


*sulks*


This bike felt funny. Stupid new bike...


Realising her water bottle was empty, GN then hopped off the nasty new bike & headed out to the water fountain. Already there was Spin Instructor.


"My mate was asking about you today!" She said, smirking.


Gym Ninja looked blank.


Spin Instructor elaborated.


"Remember him? The Fighter? He came to spin ages ago & really fancies you? He asked whether the fit girl would be there today. He meant you!"


Now Gym Ninja DID recall the Fighter. How could one not? When a ripped guy strides into a darkened Spin Room a girl does tend to clock him. In fact he made it to two sessions before Spin Instructor stuck him up on the bike at the front of the class, then part way through came over to Gym Ninja who was drowning in her own sweat. switched her mic off and whispered "My mate fancies you!"  jerking her head back in the direction (& RIGHT in the line of vision) of the Fighter. 


Awkward was NOT the word. Needless to say he'd never come back since! 


'I told him you'd had two weeks off spin whilst your new tattoo across your arse healed. He loved that!" 


At this, Spin Instructor elbowed Gym Ninja in the ribs, laughed evilly and walked off.


Great. How terribly embarrassing!


The hour of spin went slowly, partly due to the new unknown bike that recreated a bicycle version of 'Princess & The Pea' with Gym Ninja's backside.  Damn you Bike Thief!  Now Gym Ninja was almost ruined for all men!!!!  Hobbling out of the session like a broken Rodeo Rider, Gym Ninja headed to a stretch area to cool off and stretch out. That'd be the stretch area overlooking the Hydropool. Hmm.


The Hydropool was full of it's usual 'types'. A smattering of incredibly hairy men rocking so much body hair you could see it all matted and tangling from the first floor. It's when the hair on their torso is so long you can see it fanning out onto the surface of the water that tests the stomach! Then there was the Frisky Couple. Usually facially challenged (ugly if being less politically correct) who are rubbing up against each other, oblivious to the looks of disgust from those seated near them.  There is the Pervy Man. He sits bang in the middle of the Hydropool right opposite the steps leading in/out so he has the best view of all the women as they leave. Pervy Man never blinks.  He does slobber excessively though.  Then there are the group of teenage boys who sit  together staring at any girl walking past or using the Hydropool. They look a tad uncomfortable and usually have their hands below the waterline... 


As you can probably gather, today would not be a day Gym Ninja wished to use the Hydropool, so once showered, changed & replenished with her Maximuscle Promax Shake, Gym Ninja made a sharp exit away from stolen Spin Bikes, Matchmaking with Fighters and The Circus in a Hydropool...... 

Death Stare

Gym Ninja had a devil of a job to get into the 'Saturday Slaughter' mode today. Perhaps this was in some way related to the fact she'd managed to rack up all of 3 and a half hours of sleep before the alarm blared out?

Desperate times call for desperate measures. The usual Pre workout Diet Emerge Enegy drink may well fail, so for a back up, Gym Ninja scoffed a piece of the aptly named 'GoGo Guarana Buzz Gum'.  Now of you look at the link you will see it states it is 'fresh mint'. Gym Ninja would like to point out that the fresh mint flavour lasts all for 11 seconds, only to then be replaced by wet dog taste. However, persevere as it is indeed a non-jitter-inducing buzz.  At that, Gym Ninja went to the gym with her big wide bushbaby eyes.......wired.com!

Heading in to the Spin Studio, GN was pleased to see that Dangly had saved her the usual bike. He nodded hello and then berated Gym Ninja for not attending last week.
*sigh*
WHY?
Dangly KNEW Gym Ninja was training clients last weekend. Pfft!    Much chat the occurred, quite possibly due to  Buzz Gum. Gym Ninja is not kidding when she says it perks you up people!

Dangly was busy gossiping about last week's sessions & how he'd moved to 'The Dark Side' and sat with Team 1. Mouth the loud mouthed woman with the big....lungs... *ahem* is on Team 1. She welcomed him as per usual into the fold. Dangly loves how she won't come near when Gym Ninja is about, as if GN's invisible force field protects them, yet when GN is not about, Mouth is all over him like a rash.

"It's because she probably thinks you are Team Two leader" He Surmised.
"You're Gary Glitter!"

Gym Ninja then cracked open her Death Stare.

Gary Glitter.
Hmm.
That'd be the notorious pedophile leader of the gang yeh?

"He was a pedo" Pointed out Gym Ninja, the Death Stare boring a hole in between Dangly's eyes.

Dangly looked sheepish.
"Er, yeh ok point taken, bad choice of words..."

The lights went down, the music cranked up and off everyone went. Buzz Gum fuelled, Gym Ninja's legs went like the clappers. GoGo Ninja!

Now all get yourselves down to Holland & Barrett and stock up on this stuff, as GN had the best spin session in a long time. All on 3 and a half hours sleep too. Remarkable!  After the session Dangly insisted Gym Ninja walk a circuit of the indoor running track with him so he could continue his gossiping. After 10 minutes there was a..

"HIYA!!!!!!!!!!!"

Wow. How loud. Gym Ninja turned to see who was interrupting and lo and behold it was Lanky. Do you remember Lanky? Tall lanky guy (obviously the clue is in the name) who did the old 'I breathe through my ears *wink wink*' line?  Dangly curled his lip and stomped off.

"How ya doing matey? Not seen you for ages! How's the job?"

Gym Ninja explained about the firing (or fondant fancy as it was referred to if you recall?) & Lanky nodded his head sympathetically.

"Tell ya what I'd do!" He began, his eyes all big.

Hmm, maybe he too had tried Buzz Gum?

"When I was in Ibiza there was a yacht with the son of a Prince on it. Big fat guy he was, who's dad gave him £50k per month to spend. Every day there'd be 2 or 3 girls go on board. They'd stay, shag him and then the next day get paid £1500 each. Do THAT! That'd be great. You could retire in 5 years!"

At this, Lanky beamed.

Gym Ninja wondered if Lanky could hear the whirring sound of The Death Stare locking into the target? Nope. No, he didn't see it coming.


*fires Death Stare*

Making her excuses, Gym Ninja returned to the changing rooms, and spent a good 2 minutes trying to ram her key into the lock. After 2 minutes Gym Ninja concluded that her lock was actually the one 2 doors down, moved across and opened the correct locker. Turning around, Gym Ninja narrowly missed a Death Stare from a butch girl who was glaring at her. Ooops. Gym Ninja had been trying to open HER lock by accident!  Damned Buzz Gum was now confusing Gym Ninja. Time to quaff her Promax shake, hit the shower and make a swift exit....

Back here tomorrow Ninjarettes. No excuses (unless of course it is Gym Ninja making the excuse!). Sunday Slaughter Session is gonna be Buzz Gum Fuelled too!!!!!!

Gym Ninja

Back with a Vengeance! Saturday Slaughter Session

Having skipped the usual Saturday Slaughter Sessions the past 2 weeks due to other escapades (such as BodyPower), this weekend saw Gym Ninja return to her usual routine. To those unaware, it involves a one hour intense Spin Class (the only fitness 'class' GN will partake in) then a weights session.

Up & bursting with energy (gotta love the effects of Udos Oil already), Gym Ninja packed up her bag, slithered into her 'go-faster' lycra and pootled off to the Gym.

Ahead of Gym Ninja at the gym entrance was a Tall OAP. Freaky things Tall OAPs. This one was well over 6 foot....he walked through the door and promptly let it slam in GN's face!
Correction, Tall OAPs are both freaky and RUDE...

Gym Ninja warmed up with a 10 minute run. BCAAs were popped to preserve the lean muscle prior to such an intense workout, as was a cheeky energy shot in readiness for what lay ahead.  Then it was upstairs to the Spin Studio to take up residence on her usual Spin Bike. Woe betide anyone who may have taken it in her two week absence.

Warming up in the Spin Studio was Dangly Cross Earrings Man (who incidentally has never worn those earrings since so maybe needs a new name?) who takes the bike next to Gym Ninja's.  Pleasantries were exchanged...along the lines of..

"Where have you been for the past two weeks lazy arse?"

"Well hello to you too", Replied Gym Ninja, before explaining the reason for her absence (plus also mentioning the 'getting fired from her job' escapade).

Thus followed an oddball selection of conversational topics as the bikes were set up, mostly revolving around hairy people in the swimming pool, as Dangly had just been for a swim himself.

"I find it weird that the men with excessive body hair wear swim caps" Confided Dangly, screwing his face up in disgust. "There's this one guy who swims in the pool and he's covered in black hair! It's disgusting!"

"Soggy Teddy Man? Eww, yes I've seen him!" Remarked Gym Ninja. "He looks like a bear that fell in the water and his hair looks like it all knots up when it gets wet".

At that last comment, both Gym Ninja & Dangly went quiet, both horrified at the image that had just popped up in their brains...an image that was dissipated on arrival of the Fab Spin Instructor.

The room soon filled up with the regulars.. Bread Head was in, as was Clippy. Short Shorts sat on his usual bike, as did Mouth and Co (she brings a younger guy with her to every class and he sits there 'mute' throughout-hence now being recognised as 'and Co'). The lights were lowered, the stereo cranked up and off everyone went......

Holy Schmoly, the session was HARDCORE! Yet Gym Ninja's energy levels were high so the sweat just poured out, plastering her hair to her head (who's a Soggy Teddy now eh?). T'was as if Gym Ninja wore blinkers too, as she barely noticed Short Shorts with his out of rhythm bouncing around in front of her bike (very infuriating if you do notice it).

After an hour and nearly 600 cals later (not bad going for Gym Ninja's frame..calorie burn is linked with body weight you see) Gym Ninja staggered out, drenched in sweat and wondering why, despite using her padded gel seat cover, she still felt marginally violated by her Spin Bike?

But there was no time for resting. Not when energy levels were still bubbling. So, with more BCAAs popped, Gym Ninja began her leg workout.

Squats, Deadlifts, Lunges in various directions, Romanian deadlifts, Leg Press, Leg Extension, Hanging Roman Chair Alternate Leg Raises........Gym Ninja totally beasted her lower body until it could barely totter across the gym.

Whilst resting between sets, Gym Ninja took a peek out of the window overlooking the Hydropool and Main Swimming Pool.

Hmmm......

Sat incredibly close together in a swirl of bubbling foamy water (bleuurr), were two men and one woman. It went 'man, man, woman' as the order they were sat in. Middle aged people, nothing to look at....and yet there was something a bit 'odd' about them. A 'vibe' they were giving out? Maybe they looked a bit too excited by the bubbles of the Hydropool? Was that it? Perhaps the fact they were sat SO incredibly close to each other? Maybe that was it? Or, perhaps it was all of these things, combined with the fact that one of the men had lifted his legs up so he jiggled in the bubbles? Either way, Gym Ninja really regretted looking out of the window!

Quick! Look away!

Bleuurr!

Gym Ninja's eyes rested upon Skins. Now Skins is a guy who manages to colour-match to perfection his swimming trunks to his skin tone, making him appear naked as he walks about around the pool. This is really not a good thing....and right up there with flesh toned lingerie in Gym Ninjas LIST OF BAD THINGS.  Gym Ninja snapped her head around....and was promptly met with a view of the Threesome again, who by now had become quite giggly and were stroking each others arms... Time to wind up this Gym Session! Gym Ninja quickly headed back to her barbell, finished off her moves and stretched out to finish. PHEW! Well done Gym Ninja!

Staggering down the stairs and into the Changing Rooms (always a sign of a good leg session when Gym Ninja walks like a baby giraffe) it was time for a  quick shower, running the risk of third degree burns should the showers again be at the water temperature of the sun. Luckily the water temperature was fine. However, Gym Ninja did not manage to nab the only shower cubicle that has all of the strip lighting above it and instead had to shower in near darkness in one of the others. PLEASE sort the lighting out? Gym Ninja does not wish to shower in darkness.

Once clean, dressed and ready to leave, Gym Ninja mixed up her usual refreshing  Promax protein shake in choc mint flavour, and then headed out of the door, freaking out about 3 guys training on the gym floor who had blatantly never seen a woman drink from a Protein Shaker bottle before....uhhr!

Until tomorrow Ninjarettes.....

Gym Ninja x

Saturday Slaughter Long Overdue

Ahhhhhh, doncha just love the Saturday Slaughter Sessions?

By midweek it's fair to say that Gym Ninja is already chomping at the proverbial bit to get stuck into a hardcore sweaty hour of Extreme Spin, plus a 45 minute weight training session. Sometimes (if up early enough) the weights session occurs first. Usually (damned inability to go to bed early even when tired!) due to a late arrival at the gym, the weights commence after the sweaty old spin class. Either way, as tough as it may feel at the time (and all weekends are different), there is no doubting that Gym Ninja leaves the gym...nay,....'staggers' from the gym, a renewed, endorphined-up Ninja!!!!!!!!

Saturday appeared as if out of nowhere...........albeit in the typical 'always follows a Friday' type fashion. Isn't it always the way? Any other day you feel you could tackle a Slaughter Session head on, but on the actual day? Blah. You're having an off day. No energy. Feeling a tad tired.......so, what to do?

Well Gym Ninja had already pre-planned for such an occasion. She had left her Inspiration File by her gym bag so that the moment she went to pack it, she'd get a flash of physiques that would quash any lethargy or any 'hmm, maybe I'll just coast it today' type feelings and push her into working hard. Yep...it certainly worked (that and the can of Diet Emerge energy drink..now only 25p a can at Asda by the way!)

Gym Ninja warmed up her tired body with a 10 minute run once she made it to the gym. Her body seemed ok with that. It wasn't a struggle. Good! Then it was up to the Spin Studio where the fab Instructor was waiting...waiting or, as Gym Ninja suspects, 'scheming' and devising an evil hour of intervals, speed work, sprints, runs, hills etc...which is exactly why Gym Ninja makes the effort  to attend!!!  The room was filled with the Regulars, including Dangly Cross Man, Clippy (who sloped in just as the class was about to start) and another regular who doesn't seem to have a 'name' as GN cannot think of one, but she's great to chat to.

Just as the class was about to begin, Gym Ninja realised she'd forgotten to don her running leggings. Now the reason Gn wears these for Spin is that excess fabric just flails around like sails of a ship, slowing down the legs and making the spin class even tougher. Don't get GN wrong, she HAD put clothes on, but nothing skin tight. F*ck! So, with moments to spare, up went the Adidas trouser legs (rolled up to thigh level) in preparation for the hour of hell to follow.....

And it was! Hell! But good hell. When GN started to tire, all she needed to do was focus on the impending photoshoot booked in for 12th May. That one thought alone suddenly would ignite GN's little legs, sending them faster into a panic. Unless Gym Ninja has a bum she can bounce coins off, then she's not gonna be happy in front of the camera!

One sweaty tough hour later and Gym Ninja hobbled from the spin studio ready to start her leg session. Holy schmoly, her legs were seriously getting thrashed today!
Leg Press, Bulgarian Split Squats, Romanian Deadlifts, then some burnout work with resistance bands to finish off any last effort her legs and bum may be able to muster up. At one point, Gym Ninja pulled on the Romanian Chair frame and it nearly fell over. Hmm, GN never learns. She is certain that's happened before!!!

After the gym and a shower and freshen up, GN then headed to the home of her client. It was their first training session after last week's consultation & it was fun to take the client one step nearer her goal of the 'Gold Bikini' (this is what her client is focussing on, and after 1 week of making dietary changes, attending workout classes and walking during her lunch breaks, is definitely on track!). The hour flew by and was finished off with a 10 minute running session on the promenade in the sunshine. Lovely!

Later that evening, Gym Ninja decided to attempt to concoct a healthy nutrition bar from scratch. Do not ask where this came from or why now? She just did.....

Into a bowl went some uncooked oats, 4 tablespoons of reduced fat peanut butter, a scoop of chocolate Maximuscle Promax Protein powder, and some water. In went cinnamon, ginger and nutmeg. It was then mixed together, spread into a lined tin and frozen for an hour before being cut into slices...

Gym Ninja couldn't wait! Mmm, healthy and no added sugars either!

Carefully, Gym Ninja cut a small square and put it into her mouth......and chewed...

Hmm, the added spices were strong and coming through noticeably...

Brr, it was a tad cold...

Hmm, can't taste the chocolate protein powder...

before finally thinking...

YUK!

A big cold sludgy uncooked lump of oats disguised in what looks like a tasty flapjack format, but in fact appears to be so indigestible it is still sitting like a lead brick, in Gym Ninja's stomach 2 hours later!!!!

 LADIES, Gym Ninja has developed the perfect......APPETITE SUPPRESSANT!!!!!


See you all back here tomorrow (assuming GN has digested the lead weight nutrition bar and has not died in her sleep from self-poisoning)

Gym Ninja (and the lead brick of a bar) x

Wear the Body You Earn!

YAY!


Gym Ninja's first day off in 2 weeks thank GOODNESS!


So what did she do?
Headed to the gym of course for her usual Saturday Slaughter Session! Wooohooo!


Annoyingly, to begin with, Gym Ninja had to run the gauntlet of her smaller cat Hamish regurgitating fur cigars on the landing at 5.30am for the second morning running. Possibly this is due to the fact that, thanks to an incompetent carpet fitter who came to measure up the stairs and landing for a new carpet (& managed to bring a carpet too short for the space, leaving Gym Ninja with just underlay on the landing until Wednesday) this is obviously a lovely surface to vomit up fur balls onto? 


So, with broken sleep Gym Ninja hauled herself out of bed, with hair akin to Worsel Gummage, selected a 'go faster' gym outfit, and headed out of the door to the gym. (If ONLY GN could move that fast-but this is the abridged version of her morning. She did stop to eat a wheat-free pitta bread spread with Organic Almond Butter, plus shower etc). 


SPIN! 
Extreme Spin to be exact! An hour. Oh and who is that by the water fountain? Only the girl who has stood in temporarily and does a beasting of a Spin Class. YAY! There really is no point hauling oneself out of bed on a Saturday morning unless it's for a worthwhile class.  Turns out having chatted to her that she's a permanent fixture now which is good news as there hasn't been a really good replacement for Evil Instructor who was forced out months ago-way before Christmas. 


Oh...but wait?
Gym Ninja was still a bit sore from Thursdays German Volume Training.
Uh Oh.
This'll be tough!


So...within minutes Gym Ninja was sweating like the proverbial pig, her Worsel Gummage hair plastered to her head in an attractive soggy Worsel effect. Cute!   But today, Gym Ninja felt every second of that class. Her legs ached, her body was tired yet her mind was hellbent on continuing. You see, quitting a Spin Class is NOT an option. Never has been, never will be. So what tricks does GN do to keep her from quitting and to distract her from the time?  A few of these...

• Imaging an argument she is saving up for the near future and replaying it in her head. Anger seriously makes any workout feel better! If you've ever had a horrendous day at work or been livid with a partner then headed to the gym for a workout then you will know what Gym Ninja means!
• Concentrating on the others in the class. Today GN concentrated on the guy who has a complete lack of co-ordination when jumping. We go up, he sits down. We sit down, he stands up. This often gives Gym Ninja the smirks and is rather entertaining, however the humour doesn't last long on a tough ride!
• Focusing on her latest goal: namely the Ultra-Fit Cover Model Competition & what kind of shape Gym Ninja will need to be in if she is to even stand a chance?
• Guilt: Knowing if she doesn't work hard enough in Spin then she'll have to go do a run and that's just prolonging the agony...

So you see, plenty of methods of distracting yourself from whining in your head about how tough it is today. Try a few of these and see what works best for you? 

The class was interesting today. Stopped half way and all of the class sent out of the room to do a fast circuit of the running track, to allow the lactic acid to drain from the legs (oh and to make it even tougher when they got back on their bikes). By the end of the class, even Clippy was soggy!

Ahhh, endorphins! MARVELOUS! Gym Worsel dragged her soggy body across the gym floor, and down the spiral staircase into the changing rooms to towel off her hair like a dog after a bath, and to grap her skipping rope. Yep, GN brought her skipping rope with her. Time to finish herself off!!!!!!!

Once inside the weights area, Gym Ninja found a quiet area, set up her weights and then supersetted each lift for the upper body (luckily upper body,  as if it had been lower body today then Gym Ninja may not have been alive to tell the tale) with a few minutes skipping. AHHHHR! 

EG: Bent Over Dumbbell Row....skipping....dumbbell flyes....skipping.....Arnold Press.....skipping....and so on....until two different exercises had been completed for each muscle group.  It got to such a point that Gym Ninja could barely get her feet off the ground to allow the 5mm space for he rope to pass underneath them. 

QUICK! Maximuscle break!

A quick Promax Crisp bar was just enough to stop GN from falling over. This meant she had time to box off a few ab moves before stretching out, then quaffing her Maximuscle Promax shake. 

You know what GN needs after a workout like todays? Apart from decent refuelling nutrition in the form of the Maximuscle range (and if you haven't yet tried it then get clicking on the side links and see what you think-they offer a MONEY BACK GUARANTEE if not completely satisfied so you have nothing to lose other than love handles)...anyway, what GN needs after a workout like todays is... A slave to carry her to the showers.  

But Gym Ninja is so much happier having worked herself into the ground today. It has inspired her to shift her ar*e and get to Argos and buy a cheap (£5.99...or was it £4.99?) performing seal ball (aka Swiss Ball) so she can begin...

OPERATION AB ATTACK. 

aka

AB ANNIHILATION 

aka

IT HURTS TO BREATHE

Yep. Lazy Ninja is going to focus on her abs for a change! Let's see what a dedicated midsection programme can do eh?

On that note Gym Ninja is off to pump up a Swiss Ball. No rest for the vain.... ;-)

Gym Ninja x

Saturday Shatterday

Er........

'Shatterday' as in 'shattered' due to tiredness, and NOT a fake past-tense colloquial term for lack of bowel control! Perhaps Gym Ninja didn't think through today's blog title properly? She was just trying to make a change from her usual 'Saturday Slaughter Session' title that's all!

So...GN yet AGAIN went to bed late last night as half the evening was taken up by her meticulously putting together a spreadsheet to chart her body composition. GN loves charts/lists/records of stuff. It's the geek in her.  She used her Tanita Innerscan BC545 Body Composition scales for the second time since she shelled out silly money for them a couple of months or so ago. She is now determined to use them on a weekly basis to monitor how well her nutrition & training are doing (or indeed how badly if the results show negatively?). The reason she hadn't done so recently is that, to her shame, she'd not even done her weekly weigh-in since a fortnight before Christmas!

Luckily, weight increase was about 3-4lbs but surprisingly her body fat was now 4% lower! Golly. Does this in fact mean that Gym Ninja's regime is working correctly? She does hope so! However she will weigh herself weekly at the same time for a month to determine the fluctuations that can happen with body composition, before celebrating her low body fat! Oh, and she won't bore you with individual arm/leg/torso measurements and %s and muscle mass, water %, visceral fat, bone density, Resting metabolic Rate and Metabolic age....(Gym Ninja will save that for another day!)

So today GN headed out to the gym for her Saturday Slaughter session. She'd not done one of these for 2 whole weeks so was looking forward to doing a Spin Class again. On route she listened to the Scott Mills Radio One Podcast and to her delight, discovered her 'Dear Scott' email had been read out on air on Thursday. HOW exciting!  (Sorry-she didn't find the direct link to the iTunes podcast for you to click on, but go look anyway...see if you can guess which email was from Gym Ninja?)

She arrived late at the gym so only had time for a 5 minute warm up and a shot of 'Target' energy shot, (the blue one if you follow the link) before heading up to the Spin Studio.  Already in there, apart from a few gym towels reserving bikes like Germans around a pool, was the Spin Instructor. He was new to Gym Ninja and as she passed him she asked if he planned on working them hard today? Well, Gym Ninja has to ask-after all, not all Spin Instructors are created equal!

Much to her surprise, the instructor was very forthcoming. He went into detail about how it would be a hill-based climb session with some sprints thrown in, and that as he is a mountain biker himself, he can use his experience to give us all a good workout. Gym Ninja and Spin Man chatted for some time as the others came into the class (Bread Head and Clippy to name but two regulars).  Gym Ninja then asked the 'crucial' question....

GN: "So, this is an hours class. Will you be doing a whole hour or just 45 minutes, as some of the others cut the class down to 45 minutes and we don't realise until we are outside and it's only 10.45am!"


The Spin Man looked confused. Luckily this was because he didn't realise that there were others that cut the class down. He planned on working us for the whole hour.

"That's great! No point being here if you're not going to work for a whole hour is there?" Explained Gym Ninja, looking across at her fellow Spin-ees (for want of a better name) hoping for agreement and nodding.
Gym Ninja was met by a room full of sullen faces, glaring at her. WTF? Why would you go to an hours class hoping NOT to do an hour of exercise? What IS the point of going? It's not Double Maths, whereby you do hope the teacher will let you out early. This is for OUR benefit.

So they began...and the music and class structure was great. Perhaps it was due to the energy shot prior to the session or maybe because GN has not done it for 2 weeks, but she found it challenging yet not too tough. Next time she will add on additional resistance to ensure she virtually trickles out of the studio as a melted version of her  former self. No point doing it unless you push yourself to the extreme.

A quick 20 minutes of the Stair Climber followed...GN is trying to catch up on her cardio quota and wanted to take a break from her cardio intervals to trick her body a bit. As she did the climb, she watched the latest muscle dissection lecture on her iPhone (yes, it was replaced with a new one-remind GN to tell you all about the humiliating visit to Apple yesterday!)

Then it was time for LEGS!  Gym Ninja decided to pre-exhaust the quads by rattling out 3 sets of leg extensions. It was tough going, not helped by a guy the height of a prize-winning sunflower cutting through the gap and walking directly in front of her as she raised her legs to full extension, thus booting him in the thighs! Next up, was the Hammer Incline Leg Press. As she walked over to it, she noticed an old guy ransacking the storage part of the machine. He was stripping off all the 25kg plates and taking them over to the Hammer Strength ab crunch machine.

Oi Granddad! Stop that! Gym Ninja needs some bloody weight plates herself you know! But he didn't take a blind bit of notice and loaded on 4 x 25kg plates on the lower part and another 4 x 25kg plates on the upper part of the machine. She then watched as he hauled his arms and legs together in a dual crunch like movement, dragging the weights with him. His face turned red as his blood pressure must have rocketed. Hmm, the only thing getting a workout in there was his blood vessels and his arms!!!!  Humph! Gym Ninja then had to forage around the gym area for weight plates until she had enough for 120kgs.

Once her sets and reps were complete she hobbled over to the womens section to do some Bulgarian Split Squats & Romanian Deadlifts. The, grabbing a stability ball (yeh, ironic eh seeing as how much GN harps on about hating them) she began some Stability Ball Planks. Effectively you get the plank position yet your upper body rests on the ball, and you grip onto it for grim life as you roll side to side like a buffoon. Yeh, you may LOOk stupid but it does the job!  Just as she was finishing up her last set, a voice boomed hello at her through the noise of her iPod.
T'was Spin Man. He wanted to know what she though of today's class. Wow. The guy wanted feedback!  How marvelous! GN then ended up in a big long conversation with Spin Man about various levels of professional fitness people's techniques, people who eat and drink nonsense, the perils of bad instructors and so on...yeh, GN even managed to harp on about her mega crush Jack Lalanne too!

Ooops-sorry. Did you notice the pause? Gym Ninja set up the Jack Lalanne link for you and then ended up reading through his 'feats and achievements' again. Goddamit, why can't Gym Ninja be Jack Lalanne's friend?

On that obsessive note, GN needs to head off and stalk Jack Lalanne...

Have a great weekend-be back here tomorrow or else!

Gym Ninja x