Gym Ninja had a devil of a job to get into the 'Saturday Slaughter' mode today. Perhaps this was in some way related to the fact she'd managed to rack up all of 3 and a half hours of sleep before the alarm blared out?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. The usual Pre workout Diet Emerge Enegy drink may well fail, so for a back up, Gym Ninja scoffed a piece of the aptly named 'GoGo Guarana Buzz Gum'. Now of you look at the link you will see it states it is 'fresh mint'. Gym Ninja would like to point out that the fresh mint flavour lasts all for 11 seconds, only to then be replaced by wet dog taste. However, persevere as it is indeed a non-jitter-inducing buzz. At that, Gym Ninja went to the gym with her big wide bushbaby eyes.......wired.com!
Heading in to the Spin Studio, GN was pleased to see that Dangly had saved her the usual bike. He nodded hello and then berated Gym Ninja for not attending last week.
*sigh*
WHY?
Dangly KNEW Gym Ninja was training clients last weekend. Pfft! Much chat the occurred, quite possibly due to Buzz Gum. Gym Ninja is not kidding when she says it perks you up people!
Dangly was busy gossiping about last week's sessions & how he'd moved to 'The Dark Side' and sat with Team 1. Mouth the loud mouthed woman with the big....lungs... *ahem* is on Team 1. She welcomed him as per usual into the fold. Dangly loves how she won't come near when Gym Ninja is about, as if GN's invisible force field protects them, yet when GN is not about, Mouth is all over him like a rash.
"It's because she probably thinks you are Team Two leader" He Surmised.
"You're Gary Glitter!"
Gym Ninja then cracked open her Death Stare.
Gary Glitter.
Hmm.
That'd be the notorious pedophile leader of the gang yeh?
"He was a pedo" Pointed out Gym Ninja, the Death Stare boring a hole in between Dangly's eyes.
Dangly looked sheepish.
"Er, yeh ok point taken, bad choice of words..."
The lights went down, the music cranked up and off everyone went. Buzz Gum fuelled, Gym Ninja's legs went like the clappers. GoGo Ninja!
Now all get yourselves down to Holland & Barrett and stock up on this stuff, as GN had the best spin session in a long time. All on 3 and a half hours sleep too. Remarkable! After the session Dangly insisted Gym Ninja walk a circuit of the indoor running track with him so he could continue his gossiping. After 10 minutes there was a..
"HIYA!!!!!!!!!!!"
Wow. How loud. Gym Ninja turned to see who was interrupting and lo and behold it was Lanky. Do you remember Lanky? Tall lanky guy (obviously the clue is in the name) who did the old 'I breathe through my ears *wink wink*' line? Dangly curled his lip and stomped off.
"How ya doing matey? Not seen you for ages! How's the job?"
Gym Ninja explained about the firing (or fondant fancy as it was referred to if you recall?) & Lanky nodded his head sympathetically.
"Tell ya what I'd do!" He began, his eyes all big.
Hmm, maybe he too had tried Buzz Gum?
"When I was in Ibiza there was a yacht with the son of a Prince on it. Big fat guy he was, who's dad gave him £50k per month to spend. Every day there'd be 2 or 3 girls go on board. They'd stay, shag him and then the next day get paid £1500 each. Do THAT! That'd be great. You could retire in 5 years!"
At this, Lanky beamed.
Gym Ninja wondered if Lanky could hear the whirring sound of The Death Stare locking into the target? Nope. No, he didn't see it coming.
*fires Death Stare*
Making her excuses, Gym Ninja returned to the changing rooms, and spent a good 2 minutes trying to ram her key into the lock. After 2 minutes Gym Ninja concluded that her lock was actually the one 2 doors down, moved across and opened the correct locker. Turning around, Gym Ninja narrowly missed a Death Stare from a butch girl who was glaring at her. Ooops. Gym Ninja had been trying to open HER lock by accident! Damned Buzz Gum was now confusing Gym Ninja. Time to quaff her Promax shake, hit the shower and make a swift exit....
Back here tomorrow Ninjarettes. No excuses (unless of course it is Gym Ninja making the excuse!). Sunday Slaughter Session is gonna be Buzz Gum Fuelled too!!!!!!
Gym Ninja
Showing posts with label Lanky. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lanky. Show all posts
Saturday, 14 August 2010
Tuesday, 16 March 2010
Time Bandits!
Time Bandits stole Gym Ninja's evening yesterday which is why you didn't get your blog fix. Sorry about that! No sooner had GN returned from her gym workout, fuelled up and sat in front of the computer to do some online learning on soft tissue injuries, then it was BAM! Midnight!
To be fair, they are wrestling with Gym Ninja again this evening but she's logging off right after this blog. That'll teach em!
Yesterday Gym Ninja's new business cards arrived. Yippeeeeee! Gn opened the box, in an excitable manner.
Oh.
*sad face*
The cards were great...but...the red of the logo of her Personal Training company info was not as red as it should be. Think less deep red and more blood clot browny red. Pffft!
Maybe that's what happens when you order online? Not to worry. Gym Ninja can hand them out with an accompanying statement thus:
"The red is wrong. It should be MORE red"...
On route to the Gym, Gym Ninja went to pick up her trial tops she'd had printed up with her logo, to see what they looked like (plus the quality of the printing). She carefully avoided falling over the high viz step like last time..
The owner of the shop came out to talk. He explained what had happened when he'd printed up the test fabric..
"The red came out as a horrid maroon browny red"
"Oh, did it?" Said Gym Ninja, intrigued by this as the red had done exactly the same on the cards yet looked red on the computer.
She then explained about the cards, and the shop owner became all animated.
He said that the colours used on computer screens aren't the same for print based colours, and that he had taken the liberty of brightening the red to what shade he thought it should be (based on the screen colour).
Tadaaaaaa!
Perfect logos!
Oh how happy Gym Ninja was!
So, Gym Ninja went to the gym. She'd been looking forward to it ALL day, especially as her line manager had called her moments before with some naff 'sales ideas'. Uhhr!
Due to it being a Monday, the downstairs treadmills were full. Gym Ninja had now learned that the 1 vacant treadmill was a trap and still the broken one that had been like that for about a month. Yes, admittedly it had taken GN 3 weeks to figure this out and foolishly walked over to it every time. So instead she used one of the top floor treadmills where she could run AND perv at the muscly arms on show. AFter all, being sunny that meant only one thing...'Sun's out, Gun's out!'
Being pushed for time Gym Ninja razed up and down the speed intervals on the treadmill and then meandered over to the Hammer Strength machines, where she loaded up the incline leg press with weight plates. Today Gym Ninja would do German Volume Training. 10 sets of 10 reps, with a timed 60 second rest between sets. She'd then go fry her quads doing 3 sets of 12 on the leg extension to finish them off. Good times.
GN was in rest period 5, focussing intently on her iPhone stopwatch when it all went dark!
WTF!
"Hullooooooo mate! Not seen you for AGES!" Said a voice.
The lights came back on. T'was Lanky. He'd thrown his gym towel over Gym Ninja's face to surprise her.
Yuk. Sweaty gym towel.
Pleasantries were exchanged whilst Gym Ninja methodically timed her rest periods then bashed out some more reps. Lanky was asking after the PT business and suggested once he heard that GN planned on home visits, that he could get a home visit too!
Gym Ninja looked at Lanky. he did a nudge nudge wink wink move and turned pink.
NO. No no no no NO!
Cue the *tough love* moment. Gym Ninja tuned to Lanky and said,
"If you think for ONE second you'd even have enough energy to be thinking of doing anything else after a training session with me, you're very much mistaken!"
Luckily Lanky has a good sense of humour, so that issue was quashed on the spot! Phew!
Moving on to the leg extension, Gym Ninja fried her quads. Job done! Now to hit the hamstrings and glutes (or what was left of them) in the girly area of the gym.
Oh goody.
Women who just set up in the middle of the walk through part and start wafting dumbbells all over the place! GN nearly had a 2kg dumbbell up her left nostril at one point. To be fair, not so many dead bodies doing ab work today Maybe the tide went out and washed them all away? At least it meant GN didn't have to worry about dropping a barbell on anyone's head today.
After deadlifts and split squats, GN did a quick finish off with a burst of skipping, ruined by a young girl who insisted on wanting to squeeze past the peripheral area of the rope which meant GN had to stop. Then down to the changing room to quaff her beloved Choc Mint Promax shake, accompanied by the usual silent stares that say 'OMG she is a GIRL and is drinking one of those boy bodybuilder shakes', before heading off home for the evening (that'd be the evening that the Time Bandits stole!)
Now, Gym Ninja is determined to get to bed at a reasonable hour. She has the beginnings of a cold hovering about for the past 4 days. Gym Ninja hasn't had a cold since last winter (yep-she escaped all Sept-Feb flu season) so she'll be damned if it's going to get her now.
PS...
if GN disappears, then the Night Nurse that's been open since Winter 2008 wasn't worth drinking...!
Gym Ninja x
To be fair, they are wrestling with Gym Ninja again this evening but she's logging off right after this blog. That'll teach em!
Yesterday Gym Ninja's new business cards arrived. Yippeeeeee! Gn opened the box, in an excitable manner.
Oh.
*sad face*
The cards were great...but...the red of the logo of her Personal Training company info was not as red as it should be. Think less deep red and more blood clot browny red. Pffft!
Maybe that's what happens when you order online? Not to worry. Gym Ninja can hand them out with an accompanying statement thus:
"The red is wrong. It should be MORE red"...
On route to the Gym, Gym Ninja went to pick up her trial tops she'd had printed up with her logo, to see what they looked like (plus the quality of the printing). She carefully avoided falling over the high viz step like last time..
The owner of the shop came out to talk. He explained what had happened when he'd printed up the test fabric..
"The red came out as a horrid maroon browny red"
"Oh, did it?" Said Gym Ninja, intrigued by this as the red had done exactly the same on the cards yet looked red on the computer.
She then explained about the cards, and the shop owner became all animated.
He said that the colours used on computer screens aren't the same for print based colours, and that he had taken the liberty of brightening the red to what shade he thought it should be (based on the screen colour).
Tadaaaaaa!
Perfect logos!
Oh how happy Gym Ninja was!
So, Gym Ninja went to the gym. She'd been looking forward to it ALL day, especially as her line manager had called her moments before with some naff 'sales ideas'. Uhhr!
Due to it being a Monday, the downstairs treadmills were full. Gym Ninja had now learned that the 1 vacant treadmill was a trap and still the broken one that had been like that for about a month. Yes, admittedly it had taken GN 3 weeks to figure this out and foolishly walked over to it every time. So instead she used one of the top floor treadmills where she could run AND perv at the muscly arms on show. AFter all, being sunny that meant only one thing...'Sun's out, Gun's out!'
Being pushed for time Gym Ninja razed up and down the speed intervals on the treadmill and then meandered over to the Hammer Strength machines, where she loaded up the incline leg press with weight plates. Today Gym Ninja would do German Volume Training. 10 sets of 10 reps, with a timed 60 second rest between sets. She'd then go fry her quads doing 3 sets of 12 on the leg extension to finish them off. Good times.
GN was in rest period 5, focussing intently on her iPhone stopwatch when it all went dark!
WTF!
"Hullooooooo mate! Not seen you for AGES!" Said a voice.
The lights came back on. T'was Lanky. He'd thrown his gym towel over Gym Ninja's face to surprise her.
Yuk. Sweaty gym towel.
Pleasantries were exchanged whilst Gym Ninja methodically timed her rest periods then bashed out some more reps. Lanky was asking after the PT business and suggested once he heard that GN planned on home visits, that he could get a home visit too!
Gym Ninja looked at Lanky. he did a nudge nudge wink wink move and turned pink.
NO. No no no no NO!
Cue the *tough love* moment. Gym Ninja tuned to Lanky and said,
"If you think for ONE second you'd even have enough energy to be thinking of doing anything else after a training session with me, you're very much mistaken!"
Luckily Lanky has a good sense of humour, so that issue was quashed on the spot! Phew!
Moving on to the leg extension, Gym Ninja fried her quads. Job done! Now to hit the hamstrings and glutes (or what was left of them) in the girly area of the gym.
Oh goody.
Women who just set up in the middle of the walk through part and start wafting dumbbells all over the place! GN nearly had a 2kg dumbbell up her left nostril at one point. To be fair, not so many dead bodies doing ab work today Maybe the tide went out and washed them all away? At least it meant GN didn't have to worry about dropping a barbell on anyone's head today.
After deadlifts and split squats, GN did a quick finish off with a burst of skipping, ruined by a young girl who insisted on wanting to squeeze past the peripheral area of the rope which meant GN had to stop. Then down to the changing room to quaff her beloved Choc Mint Promax shake, accompanied by the usual silent stares that say 'OMG she is a GIRL and is drinking one of those boy bodybuilder shakes', before heading off home for the evening (that'd be the evening that the Time Bandits stole!)
Now, Gym Ninja is determined to get to bed at a reasonable hour. She has the beginnings of a cold hovering about for the past 4 days. Gym Ninja hasn't had a cold since last winter (yep-she escaped all Sept-Feb flu season) so she'll be damned if it's going to get her now.
PS...
if GN disappears, then the Night Nurse that's been open since Winter 2008 wasn't worth drinking...!
Gym Ninja x
Thursday, 10 December 2009
What's that smell?
T'was a stinky old Gym session for Gym Ninja today. To the point where she started to question whether this 'illness/overtraining' malarkey she'd recently suffered from had left her with an 'enhanced bionic sense of smell'? Everything was so very pungent...or should that be 'everyone?'
Gym Ninja has suffered a fair bit of bloating these past few days. No explanation forthcoming other than again, maybe if this tiredness was virus related, then it may be a nasty Ninja Germ that is balloon-like in stature, filling up Gym Ninja's stomach. Stupid balloon virus....
So, off Gym Ninja pootled to the gym after a day sorting through quotes and admin. Her first cardio session of the week (shocking I know) and much needed. T'was also Leg Day for Gym Ninja aka Balloon Ninja & she was looking forward to it (whist hiding her balloon tummy behind her sweat towel).
As she wandered over to the treadmills, a strong waft of Deep Heat hit her nose! Someone on the cardio equipment had greased themselves up in it. Look, if you MUST use Deep Heat, do so at home or outside. NOT in the gym. NOT next to Gym/Balloon Ninja please. It makes her nostrils hot!
So after a hot nostril-ed 20 minute run, interspersed by strong wafts of BO from an unidentified Gym Member (although it's a high possibility that it was the man with about 5 flies buzzing around him who created the stinky BO?), Gym Ninja went upstairs to start her leg training...
At the top of the stairs...oh look. Look who it is again? Lanky! He greets Gym Ninja and they exchange pleasantries. he tells her about his new job and how he plans to fit in his workouts around it. They laugh at how true gym addicts consider workouts and when they can hit the gym if they take the job, when job seeking.
"When I'm job hunting I'm just interested in making sure I can fit in enough time to work my muscles afterwards" Said Gym Ninja.
Lanky Nodded.
"There's only one muscle I'M interested in working right now!" He said, nudging Gym Ninja.
"Fnar Fnar!"
She looked at him.
She looked at the arm that he had nudged.
Do not 'nudge' Gym Ninja. She could slit your throat with the edge of her gym sweat towel if you touch her without asking.
'I think you'll find, THAT is not a muscle!" She berated him, rolling her eyes.
"Er..I meant my ears"! Backpedalled Lanky.
But then, returning to the very essence of Frankie Howard, he continued with...
"The thing with ears like mine, is that you could hang on to them and I don't need to come up for air much".
Gym Ninja is aware of the power that is her 'withering stare' and for that reason rarely rolls it out. But now it was needed. Cue withering stare and a very technical and ardor dampening explanation about cartilage of the ear.
Today's session was a mixture of squats, deadlifts, straight legged deadlifts, split squats and a couple of faffy machines thrown in. Namely the Adductor and Abductor machines. Uh oh. Bionic smell came back. The Adductor machine area smelled of dog poo. Gym Ninja checked the carpet area. No stains. She checked the foot rests of the machine for 'scrapings' of dog poo. Nothing. So Gym Ninja was just about to sit down on the machine, when she started to wonder exactly what WAS causing the smell? Was it something non-dog related? Was it something on the seat perhaps...?
Gym Ninja decided that actually, she didn't feel like working her Adductors today......!
Back in the changing rooms Gym Ninja rummaged around in her handbag, only to notice everything had a thin veil of pale brown powder on it. Her bag also smelled of chocolate. Bionic sense of smell you see.
Hmmm...
After a quick investigation, it turned out a previous sandwich bag she'd stashed a spare serving of Chocolate Promax protein powder in had leaked due to her not sealing it properly, so now all her handbag contents were lined in chocolate flavoured protein powder. Nice! A very expensive yet high quality bag freshener. Talking of supplements, tomorrow Gym Ninja may regale you with her latest adventures in trialling new supplements, namely protein bars. Yum! But then again, she may get a mission and end up talking about that instead. That's the thing with Gym Ninja..you just never know.....
'Man who fish in other mans well often catch crabs'
Gym Ninja x
Gym Ninja has suffered a fair bit of bloating these past few days. No explanation forthcoming other than again, maybe if this tiredness was virus related, then it may be a nasty Ninja Germ that is balloon-like in stature, filling up Gym Ninja's stomach. Stupid balloon virus....
So, off Gym Ninja pootled to the gym after a day sorting through quotes and admin. Her first cardio session of the week (shocking I know) and much needed. T'was also Leg Day for Gym Ninja aka Balloon Ninja & she was looking forward to it (whist hiding her balloon tummy behind her sweat towel).
As she wandered over to the treadmills, a strong waft of Deep Heat hit her nose! Someone on the cardio equipment had greased themselves up in it. Look, if you MUST use Deep Heat, do so at home or outside. NOT in the gym. NOT next to Gym/Balloon Ninja please. It makes her nostrils hot!
So after a hot nostril-ed 20 minute run, interspersed by strong wafts of BO from an unidentified Gym Member (although it's a high possibility that it was the man with about 5 flies buzzing around him who created the stinky BO?), Gym Ninja went upstairs to start her leg training...
At the top of the stairs...oh look. Look who it is again? Lanky! He greets Gym Ninja and they exchange pleasantries. he tells her about his new job and how he plans to fit in his workouts around it. They laugh at how true gym addicts consider workouts and when they can hit the gym if they take the job, when job seeking.
"When I'm job hunting I'm just interested in making sure I can fit in enough time to work my muscles afterwards" Said Gym Ninja.
Lanky Nodded.
"There's only one muscle I'M interested in working right now!" He said, nudging Gym Ninja.
"Fnar Fnar!"
She looked at him.
She looked at the arm that he had nudged.
Do not 'nudge' Gym Ninja. She could slit your throat with the edge of her gym sweat towel if you touch her without asking.
'I think you'll find, THAT is not a muscle!" She berated him, rolling her eyes.
"Er..I meant my ears"! Backpedalled Lanky.
But then, returning to the very essence of Frankie Howard, he continued with...
"The thing with ears like mine, is that you could hang on to them and I don't need to come up for air much".
Gym Ninja is aware of the power that is her 'withering stare' and for that reason rarely rolls it out. But now it was needed. Cue withering stare and a very technical and ardor dampening explanation about cartilage of the ear.
Today's session was a mixture of squats, deadlifts, straight legged deadlifts, split squats and a couple of faffy machines thrown in. Namely the Adductor and Abductor machines. Uh oh. Bionic smell came back. The Adductor machine area smelled of dog poo. Gym Ninja checked the carpet area. No stains. She checked the foot rests of the machine for 'scrapings' of dog poo. Nothing. So Gym Ninja was just about to sit down on the machine, when she started to wonder exactly what WAS causing the smell? Was it something non-dog related? Was it something on the seat perhaps...?
Gym Ninja decided that actually, she didn't feel like working her Adductors today......!
Back in the changing rooms Gym Ninja rummaged around in her handbag, only to notice everything had a thin veil of pale brown powder on it. Her bag also smelled of chocolate. Bionic sense of smell you see.
Hmmm...
After a quick investigation, it turned out a previous sandwich bag she'd stashed a spare serving of Chocolate Promax protein powder in had leaked due to her not sealing it properly, so now all her handbag contents were lined in chocolate flavoured protein powder. Nice! A very expensive yet high quality bag freshener. Talking of supplements, tomorrow Gym Ninja may regale you with her latest adventures in trialling new supplements, namely protein bars. Yum! But then again, she may get a mission and end up talking about that instead. That's the thing with Gym Ninja..you just never know.....
'Man who fish in other mans well often catch crabs'
Gym Ninja x
Wednesday, 9 December 2009
Silly Billy Ninja!
Oh dear!
You'll recall that yesterday Gym Ninja was icky sicky/over-trained/mentally drained (delete as applicable) and was toying with the idea of sneaking off to the gym for a surreptitious workout? Albeit a toned down weights-only workout? Well....why didn't you STOP her? *sigh*
OK, so off went Gym Ninja yesterday after work, dragging her wearing icky sicky feet to the gym. Maybe she will feel better once she is there? She already knows she will not attempt cardio, but instead do a lighter version of her usual upper body routine. Just to get her muscles pumping and maybe flush out whatever this nasty evil draining bug is in her. If it IS a bug? If it is mental fatigue then maybe it will help her? Plus, she collected her recent delivery of 4 boxes (yup, 4!!!) of Promax Crisp Bars today...well, they were (and still are actually) on offer for 'Buy 3 get 1 free' so it'd have been rude to buy any less...ahem...oink.......so she was kind of inspired!
Once at the gym, GN stuffed her bag into the locker and headed up the main staircase of the gym. Today was NOT the day for tackling the spiral staircase that runs directly up from the Female Changing Rooms to the upper level of the gym. Not with dizziness!!!! She took the 'sensible' route and clung onto the metal handrail of the main staircase, despite knowing full well it would predictably give Gym Ninja an electric shock as she did so.
*ZAP!*
Yep. There it was. Electric shock! Whoevers idea it was to fashion a handrail in a gym full of people clad head to toe in man-made fabrics wants shooting. Is it purely coincidence straight-haired people join the gym and frizzy haired people leave it...?
At the top of the stairs, Gym Ninja bumped into an acquaintance. Lanky. Lanky was keen to drag Gym Ninja into the 5.30pm Spin Class but GN quickly explained her 'illness' which was why, unfortunately, she would not be able to attend tonight's class. Besides, Penguin (aka the Fat One) was taking the class. That means you may as well free-wheel through the session, as he certainly does. Lanky was sympathetic.
"Oh, that's a shame. What's wrong with you?" He enquired.
"Dizziness, feeling exhausted, generally weak and drained", Lamented Gym Ninja, feeling sorry for herself.
Lanky nodded.
"Aww, sorry to hear that mate!" He said.
*Cue weak smile from Gym Ninja.*
"So,...fancy trying Khai Bo Class after? It makes you sweat LOTS!". Lanky grinned at Gym Ninja. She stared back at him.
"Er...I'm sick, weak and dizzy remember?" She reminded him. Khai Bo indeed! May as well order a body bag.....!
Gym Ninja shuffled into the womens section of the gym, did some Dynamic Stretches to warm up, then picked up a lighter than usual barbell to begin with a bent over row. To her right was a girl standing in front of the mirror, dumbbell above her head performing an Overhead Triceps Extension....with a 'twist'. An unintentional twist, but one all the same. The girl had crossed her left foot over her right in almost a ballet-style position, and was arching her back so badly she looked banana-shaped. Gym Ninja winced.
Back to her bent Over Row, Gym Ninja realised that even the lighter weight was a tad too much for her faffy weak grip. Stupid Ninja. Fancy coming to the gym when under the weather. Ah well, she was here now...and she'd set up in the far corner of the free weight area so she could be weak and feeble alone. Well, that was the plan, until all of a sudden, a huge woman came over, and stepped in front of Gym Ninja mid-row.
"Excuse me!" Bellowed Giantess.
She stuffed herself between Gym Ninja and the Cable machine that is never ever used, in the corner of the free weights area. Ooops. Who'd have thought someone would use that today? Gym Ninja repositioned herself and carried on as best she could.
Having given up after 3 sets of reps, Gym Ninja dragged herself across the room to a bench and got some dumbbells, ready to do a chest press. Just as she was adjusting the bench, someone barged into her, nearly knocking her flying as they rushed past. Giantess! Gym Ninja looked around. ACRES of free floor space and she had to squash past her? WTF???
UUUHR! Tough going today, even with cotton-bud sized weights. Once that particular exercise was completed, Gym Ninja stood up and was about to move over to the weights when a girl fell over her bench! She'd been carrying a mat above her head and part of the mat had flopped over her face just as she strode past Gym Ninja's bench, obscuring her vision and resulting in her walking slap bang into it. Thank GOD GN had finished her set. A face full of passerby would not have done wonders for her energy levels!
Struggling next with overhead Dumbbell Presses, Gym Ninja soon realised that she'd do far more damage than good by being here. It wasn't 'flushing out' the germs or helping alleviate the mental fatigue. It was just making her feel even weaker. But Gym Ninja would just try some Hammer Curls and overhead (non-banana spine) Triceps Extensions 'just to make sure'....nope! DISASTER! Time to go home with your icky feeling of weakness. In fact, it was rather selfish of Gym Ninja to rock up at the gym feeling less than 100%. Goddamit, what is this evil source of Kryptonite that was draining her so badly??
Once in the changing rooms, she retrieved her bag and checked her work phone. A work email.
"Uhhhr!" Tutted Gym Ninja
"Oh I'm terribly sorry, were you using this locker?" Enquired a woman next to her. OMG, the woman had thought Gym Ninja was 'Uhhhr-ing' at her! A quick apology and explanation later about her tutting outburst, and Gym Ninja was off, into the night.....at about 3 mph.....
So, my Ninjarettes, it is not always the best idea to force oneself to go to the gym when tired. Occasionally (less often than you'd think mind!) you actually ARE too tired to go!
Signing out for today....
'Man Who Drive Like Hell Bound To Get There!'
(how terribly irrelevant today actually!)
Gym Ninja x
You'll recall that yesterday Gym Ninja was icky sicky/over-trained/mentally drained (delete as applicable) and was toying with the idea of sneaking off to the gym for a surreptitious workout? Albeit a toned down weights-only workout? Well....why didn't you STOP her? *sigh*
OK, so off went Gym Ninja yesterday after work, dragging her wearing icky sicky feet to the gym. Maybe she will feel better once she is there? She already knows she will not attempt cardio, but instead do a lighter version of her usual upper body routine. Just to get her muscles pumping and maybe flush out whatever this nasty evil draining bug is in her. If it IS a bug? If it is mental fatigue then maybe it will help her? Plus, she collected her recent delivery of 4 boxes (yup, 4!!!) of Promax Crisp Bars today...well, they were (and still are actually) on offer for 'Buy 3 get 1 free' so it'd have been rude to buy any less...ahem...oink.......so she was kind of inspired!
Once at the gym, GN stuffed her bag into the locker and headed up the main staircase of the gym. Today was NOT the day for tackling the spiral staircase that runs directly up from the Female Changing Rooms to the upper level of the gym. Not with dizziness!!!! She took the 'sensible' route and clung onto the metal handrail of the main staircase, despite knowing full well it would predictably give Gym Ninja an electric shock as she did so.
*ZAP!*
Yep. There it was. Electric shock! Whoevers idea it was to fashion a handrail in a gym full of people clad head to toe in man-made fabrics wants shooting. Is it purely coincidence straight-haired people join the gym and frizzy haired people leave it...?
At the top of the stairs, Gym Ninja bumped into an acquaintance. Lanky. Lanky was keen to drag Gym Ninja into the 5.30pm Spin Class but GN quickly explained her 'illness' which was why, unfortunately, she would not be able to attend tonight's class. Besides, Penguin (aka the Fat One) was taking the class. That means you may as well free-wheel through the session, as he certainly does. Lanky was sympathetic.
"Oh, that's a shame. What's wrong with you?" He enquired.
"Dizziness, feeling exhausted, generally weak and drained", Lamented Gym Ninja, feeling sorry for herself.
Lanky nodded.
"Aww, sorry to hear that mate!" He said.
*Cue weak smile from Gym Ninja.*
"So,...fancy trying Khai Bo Class after? It makes you sweat LOTS!". Lanky grinned at Gym Ninja. She stared back at him.
"Er...I'm sick, weak and dizzy remember?" She reminded him. Khai Bo indeed! May as well order a body bag.....!
Gym Ninja shuffled into the womens section of the gym, did some Dynamic Stretches to warm up, then picked up a lighter than usual barbell to begin with a bent over row. To her right was a girl standing in front of the mirror, dumbbell above her head performing an Overhead Triceps Extension....with a 'twist'. An unintentional twist, but one all the same. The girl had crossed her left foot over her right in almost a ballet-style position, and was arching her back so badly she looked banana-shaped. Gym Ninja winced.
Back to her bent Over Row, Gym Ninja realised that even the lighter weight was a tad too much for her faffy weak grip. Stupid Ninja. Fancy coming to the gym when under the weather. Ah well, she was here now...and she'd set up in the far corner of the free weight area so she could be weak and feeble alone. Well, that was the plan, until all of a sudden, a huge woman came over, and stepped in front of Gym Ninja mid-row.
"Excuse me!" Bellowed Giantess.
She stuffed herself between Gym Ninja and the Cable machine that is never ever used, in the corner of the free weights area. Ooops. Who'd have thought someone would use that today? Gym Ninja repositioned herself and carried on as best she could.
Having given up after 3 sets of reps, Gym Ninja dragged herself across the room to a bench and got some dumbbells, ready to do a chest press. Just as she was adjusting the bench, someone barged into her, nearly knocking her flying as they rushed past. Giantess! Gym Ninja looked around. ACRES of free floor space and she had to squash past her? WTF???
UUUHR! Tough going today, even with cotton-bud sized weights. Once that particular exercise was completed, Gym Ninja stood up and was about to move over to the weights when a girl fell over her bench! She'd been carrying a mat above her head and part of the mat had flopped over her face just as she strode past Gym Ninja's bench, obscuring her vision and resulting in her walking slap bang into it. Thank GOD GN had finished her set. A face full of passerby would not have done wonders for her energy levels!
Struggling next with overhead Dumbbell Presses, Gym Ninja soon realised that she'd do far more damage than good by being here. It wasn't 'flushing out' the germs or helping alleviate the mental fatigue. It was just making her feel even weaker. But Gym Ninja would just try some Hammer Curls and overhead (non-banana spine) Triceps Extensions 'just to make sure'....nope! DISASTER! Time to go home with your icky feeling of weakness. In fact, it was rather selfish of Gym Ninja to rock up at the gym feeling less than 100%. Goddamit, what is this evil source of Kryptonite that was draining her so badly??
Once in the changing rooms, she retrieved her bag and checked her work phone. A work email.
"Uhhhr!" Tutted Gym Ninja
"Oh I'm terribly sorry, were you using this locker?" Enquired a woman next to her. OMG, the woman had thought Gym Ninja was 'Uhhhr-ing' at her! A quick apology and explanation later about her tutting outburst, and Gym Ninja was off, into the night.....at about 3 mph.....
So, my Ninjarettes, it is not always the best idea to force oneself to go to the gym when tired. Occasionally (less often than you'd think mind!) you actually ARE too tired to go!
Signing out for today....
'Man Who Drive Like Hell Bound To Get There!'
(how terribly irrelevant today actually!)
Gym Ninja x
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