You know when you just have a day where everything is rubbish? Today is that day for Gym Ninja.
Having looked forward to her Saturday Slaughter session ALL week, Gym Ninja bounced (kind of) out of bed and got herself ready for the gym. It's a fantastic feeling knowing that you're going to be pushed for an entire hour of Spin Hell. Truly! Gym Ninja loves feeling half-dead at the end...
Bounce bounce into the gym went Gym Ninja. A quick 10 minute warm up on the Cross Trainer, and then Gym Ninja necked half a bottle of Target Energy Shot, to back up the old energy levels. Always prepared you see!
Gym Ninja walked into the Spin Studio. Dangly Cross Man was in so Gym Ninja went to set up her usual bike in front of the vent, only to find it was broken.
"The handlebars won't stay up", Explained Dangly, which makes Gym Ninja think he must have tried to nab her bike before she came in, Or else, how would he know...? So Gym Ninja sat the other side of him, spent ages setting up her bike, only to then discover the foot strap was missing. AHHHR! Time to find another bike.
By now, Gym Ninja was sat in the middle of the room, nowhere near an air con vent. Godammit, Gym Ninja will melt in a pool of sweat without air con! But it was now 5 minutes until kick off (so to speak) and no sign of the Fab Instructor....hmmm...the class were getting nervous. What if she didn't show up???
As if by magic, in strode a young guy, headed towards the Instructor bike, and plonked on the headset. NO Fab Instructor today then? This was rapidly followed by 6 people dismounting their bikes and walking right out of the class as his back was turned. You see, the Saturday Spin Class of one hour is a hardcore class, and they do not suffer fools....Gym Ninja felt disappointed. PLEASE let this guy be half decent...?
"I've not tried this CD before" He said, before switching on what must have been the world's most inappropriate music for a spin class. Slow thudding beat like a metronome...boom, boom, boom, boom....in time to you chanting 'one potato, two potato, three potato'..so yeh, slow!
"Let's warm up!" he cried...."In time to the beat..."
*cue one potato, two potato, three potato, four potato...*
Gym Ninja's legs wanted to go faster. Everyone's legs wanted to go faster, but Metronome (the instructor) wanted everyone IN TIME to the slow beat.
Imagine this slow relentless beat, unchanging from 90s dance classic to 90s dance classic, plodding on for an WHOLE hour and you can partly imagine the class Gym Ninja found herself in.
'Up for 8, down for 8.....3, 2, 1, go" Counted Metronome, by now starting to sound like The Count off Sesame Street...
Now usually, in an hour of Spin on a weekend, Gym Ninja has two thoughts in her head throughout the class.
1. "I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die"
and
2. "Ffff*ckkkkkkkkk!"
Today, however, Gym Ninja managed to plan her entire day and compile a mental 'things to do' list, all whilst not breaking a sweat.
"If you're not sweating you're not working hard enough" Boomed Metronome.
No sh*t Sherlock, as they say. NO ONE was working hard enough. Even with the resistance rammed on, the beat was too slow to raise anyone's heart rate higher than maybe 65% max?
Eventually, the hour long nightmare ended. What a boring class. If Ikea wrote spin classes this would have been one of them. Very 'prescriptive' but no actual personality injected into it, nor adaptation to suit the fitness level of the class. Just lots of patterns of standing and seated climbs and 15, 30 and 60 second pyramids of sprints. Oh and time to plan a 'to do' list...
After Spin ended, and having listened to some of the others moan about the class, Gym Ninja headed downstairs to do a run (next to a man slathered in Deep Heat Muscle Rub), before starting her lower body weights session. All whilst suffering a pang of loss from not getting her usual fabulous spin session. Grrr!
Detouring on route home, Gym Ninja had a nasty 'card refused' moment at the Petrol Station. Looks like the overdraft limit had been reached, yet Gym Ninja is not due to get paid until Wednesday. Bugger! How will Gym Ninja pay for car parking to do her job next week? ARRRH! Then, the momentary excitement at seeing that her new business cards had arrived, was ruined when she saw they'd printed the cards on BLUE instead of white, thus making them unusable. AHHHHR again!
So now Gym Ninja is grumpy, but will settle down and hit the books. Coursework awaits for the rest of the evening, so fingers crossed everything else goes to plan eh?
See you all tomorrow...an hour EARLIER if you are in the UK as don't forget to put your clocks forward 1 hour tonight. (HOW useful is Gym Ninja eh?)
Grumpy Ninja x
Showing posts with label Deep Heat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Deep Heat. Show all posts
Saturday, 27 March 2010
Tuesday, 9 March 2010
Gorillas!
Where DOES the time go to?
Yet another day of hoping to squash in some revision on Anatomy, only to find nope-all run out of time! AHHHR!
Having not gone to the gym on Monday (always a bad start to the week mentally), Gym Ninja just HAD to make it there today, despite being pushed for time. So, after a day of wild goose chases (or is that geese chases?), & having successfully bored rigid 3 unsuspecting telephone callers with a long protracted 'How I designed my business cards' story, Gym Ninja was ready for a decent workout.
On arrival into the changing rooms, Gym Ninja was greeted by a screech fest. Small children running amok, screaming so hard and loud they were almost turning themselves inside out! Gym Ninja checked the sides of her ears for blood...nope...no burst eardrums just yet.
Parent: "Will you BEHAVE yourself"
Kid: "Screech screech scream Noooooooooooooooooooooooo squeal"
Parent: "If I did that when I was little, I'd have been sent to bed without my dinner"
Kid:"Screech screech SCREECH squeal scream WAIL...I don't WANT to go to bed without dinner"
Parent: "Stop yelling then!"
Kid "SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL SCREAM AHHHHHR"
Parent: "Right, when we get in you're going to bed without dinner!"
At this point, the kid went into stratospheric meltdown........
Gym Ninja sloped off into the loud busy gym for some 'quiet time'.......
Happily settled on a treadmill, Gym Ninja began her cardio workout. It was good to run again. Not run since...ooooh...Saturday....
2 minutes and 34 seconds into the run, appears Mr 'Hello There I Bathed In Deep Heat Muscle Rub' and starts to run on the next treadmill. As he ran, the heat from his body strengthened the horrific odour so it burned off the lining of Gym Ninja's nasal passages and scorched its way down her trachea...not so much the enjoyable run GN had in mind.
After her workout and once her nasal passages had recovered, Gym Ninja headed upstairs to work her legs. LEG PRESS. Incline Hammer Strength Leg press to be precise, loaded with 75kgs either side. Wicked! The woman on the next leg press had a 20kg plate either side...bless...
Having had to cancel the lying Hamstring Curl move due to a sudden Mr Ben 'As if by magic, the shopkeeper appeared' type appearance of a mate at the gym (you know who you are reading this and yes, you are SO a perv!) Gym Ninja took refuge in the relative quiet of the womens section of the gym. No sign of Cowlashes today, oddly enough.
As Gym Ninja worked up a sweat doing deadlifts, frontal plane lunges, bulgarian splits squats and so on, two girls headed towards the RomanChair. The tall frame designed to help people work their lower abs. One grabbed a Swiss Ball. Obviosuly the girls were taking it in turns to work different areas of their abs...so this is what happened. Girl 1 goes to the Roman Chair and starts to perform reps. Girl 2 sits on the Swiss Ball. Girl 1 hops off, and takes over ball sitting duties as Girl 2 does her reps on the Roman Chair. WTF? USING it as a SEAT? Why not work your abs as your mate train? Duh!
Gym Ninja screwed up her eyes to prevent herself seeing any other crazy stuff, and instead focussed on working her lower body until it went all wibbly wobbly. Job done!
When in the main gym area, GN decided to finish up on the Lower Back Extension Machine. This faces a free weights area, and GN had the delight of watching a few guys perform pull ups as she worked her lower back. Now there is definitely something about watching a guy who is strong enough, perform pull ups or chin ups. Mmmm. Not QUITE The same effect if he cannot do them. Then it just feels a bit sad. But when they can? When they have the old Dairy Lea Triangle look to their lats and their muscles ripple as they pull their body upwards...........mmmmmmmmmmm.......ahem. OK-Gym Ninja glazed over somewhat there, but so did 99% of you too!!!!! The 1% of guys who read this and didn't were instead thinking "Pull ups? really? OK...I'll start doing those then!"
One other thing Gym Ninja noticed whilst performing reps and perving at the guys in the free weights section, was the amount of Gorilla Arms on show. By Gorilla Arms, GN means the stance you see whereby a guy's arms roll forwards so they hang down in front of the body rather than the side, the palms facing their thighs and knuckles facing out. This stance, ladies and gentlemen, is a sign that not only are they neglecting to train their back, traps and rhomboids as hard as their mirror muscles (aka chest and shoulders), but they have a lot of tightness and shortening of the chest and shoulder muscles, as well as the Lats believe it or not. The lats insert (goddamit, GN is determined to revise somehow!) on the front of the humerus bone (the upper arm) so if it tightens, it pulls on the front of the bone and drags it inwards.
So...a game for you all to play at home, in the street, at work, in the gym...how many people have Gorilla Arms.......do YOU?
Toodle pip
Gym Ninja x
Yet another day of hoping to squash in some revision on Anatomy, only to find nope-all run out of time! AHHHR!
Having not gone to the gym on Monday (always a bad start to the week mentally), Gym Ninja just HAD to make it there today, despite being pushed for time. So, after a day of wild goose chases (or is that geese chases?), & having successfully bored rigid 3 unsuspecting telephone callers with a long protracted 'How I designed my business cards' story, Gym Ninja was ready for a decent workout.
On arrival into the changing rooms, Gym Ninja was greeted by a screech fest. Small children running amok, screaming so hard and loud they were almost turning themselves inside out! Gym Ninja checked the sides of her ears for blood...nope...no burst eardrums just yet.
Parent: "Will you BEHAVE yourself"
Kid: "Screech screech scream Noooooooooooooooooooooooo squeal"
Parent: "If I did that when I was little, I'd have been sent to bed without my dinner"
Kid:"Screech screech SCREECH squeal scream WAIL...I don't WANT to go to bed without dinner"
Parent: "Stop yelling then!"
Kid "SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL SCREAM AHHHHHR"
Parent: "Right, when we get in you're going to bed without dinner!"
At this point, the kid went into stratospheric meltdown........
Gym Ninja sloped off into the loud busy gym for some 'quiet time'.......
Happily settled on a treadmill, Gym Ninja began her cardio workout. It was good to run again. Not run since...ooooh...Saturday....
2 minutes and 34 seconds into the run, appears Mr 'Hello There I Bathed In Deep Heat Muscle Rub' and starts to run on the next treadmill. As he ran, the heat from his body strengthened the horrific odour so it burned off the lining of Gym Ninja's nasal passages and scorched its way down her trachea...not so much the enjoyable run GN had in mind.
After her workout and once her nasal passages had recovered, Gym Ninja headed upstairs to work her legs. LEG PRESS. Incline Hammer Strength Leg press to be precise, loaded with 75kgs either side. Wicked! The woman on the next leg press had a 20kg plate either side...bless...
Having had to cancel the lying Hamstring Curl move due to a sudden Mr Ben 'As if by magic, the shopkeeper appeared' type appearance of a mate at the gym (you know who you are reading this and yes, you are SO a perv!) Gym Ninja took refuge in the relative quiet of the womens section of the gym. No sign of Cowlashes today, oddly enough.
As Gym Ninja worked up a sweat doing deadlifts, frontal plane lunges, bulgarian splits squats and so on, two girls headed towards the RomanChair. The tall frame designed to help people work their lower abs. One grabbed a Swiss Ball. Obviosuly the girls were taking it in turns to work different areas of their abs...so this is what happened. Girl 1 goes to the Roman Chair and starts to perform reps. Girl 2 sits on the Swiss Ball. Girl 1 hops off, and takes over ball sitting duties as Girl 2 does her reps on the Roman Chair. WTF? USING it as a SEAT? Why not work your abs as your mate train? Duh!
Gym Ninja screwed up her eyes to prevent herself seeing any other crazy stuff, and instead focussed on working her lower body until it went all wibbly wobbly. Job done!
When in the main gym area, GN decided to finish up on the Lower Back Extension Machine. This faces a free weights area, and GN had the delight of watching a few guys perform pull ups as she worked her lower back. Now there is definitely something about watching a guy who is strong enough, perform pull ups or chin ups. Mmmm. Not QUITE The same effect if he cannot do them. Then it just feels a bit sad. But when they can? When they have the old Dairy Lea Triangle look to their lats and their muscles ripple as they pull their body upwards...........mmmmmmmmmmm.......ahem. OK-Gym Ninja glazed over somewhat there, but so did 99% of you too!!!!! The 1% of guys who read this and didn't were instead thinking "Pull ups? really? OK...I'll start doing those then!"
One other thing Gym Ninja noticed whilst performing reps and perving at the guys in the free weights section, was the amount of Gorilla Arms on show. By Gorilla Arms, GN means the stance you see whereby a guy's arms roll forwards so they hang down in front of the body rather than the side, the palms facing their thighs and knuckles facing out. This stance, ladies and gentlemen, is a sign that not only are they neglecting to train their back, traps and rhomboids as hard as their mirror muscles (aka chest and shoulders), but they have a lot of tightness and shortening of the chest and shoulder muscles, as well as the Lats believe it or not. The lats insert (goddamit, GN is determined to revise somehow!) on the front of the humerus bone (the upper arm) so if it tightens, it pulls on the front of the bone and drags it inwards.
So...a game for you all to play at home, in the street, at work, in the gym...how many people have Gorilla Arms.......do YOU?
Toodle pip
Gym Ninja x
Wednesday, 24 February 2010
Injure the Ninja
Ow.
Gym Ninja hurts!
Possibly due to over zealous stretching of the neck muscles? Possibly due to over zealous corrective exercise? DEFINITELY exacerbated by hauling around the Blandmobile Company Car for hours at a time the past 2 days! Regardless, Gym Ninja now has a very painful Trapezius and anterior deltoid. NO play time at the gym because of it either! AHHR!
EVEN WORSE, in some sort of karma-type sick trick, Gym Ninja has had to...and she can barely bring herself to confess....BUY Deep Heat muscle rub! What kind of cruel twist of fate is this?
Acutely aware of the ponginess of Deep Heat, Gym Ninja waited until she returned home for the day, and then slathered on the cream. Rub rub rub until it was well rubbed in. Dougal, Gym Ninja's biggest cat, came in, nose a-twitching, to see what was causing the ungodly stench. Oooh, it's Gym Ninja and her muscle rub. :-(
Oooh, that felt a tad better. OK..so maybe Gym Ninja now knows & appreciates why sometimes people have to use this muscle rub? After all......... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHR!
Gym Ninja was ON FIRE!
No joke!
In a complete lack of awareness, Gym Ninja had squeezed on a third of the tube and now her skin was on fire. Great! Muscle soreness diminished. Skin burns heightened. Swap one pain for another why don't you?
So as you can imagine, Gym Ninja is not a joyous soul.
Not only that, she appears to be as thick as the stair carpet that, about 10 minutes post Deep Heat, she decided to rip up off the stairs to make way for the new carpet she has since discovered (courtesy of online banking) she cannot now afford! EEEK!
So, not only has she a sore muscular ache, she also has a burning skin sensation over her shoulder, a pongy Deep Heat scent radiating off her, a sickness at the pit of her stomach due to minus numbers in the old bank account and agitated muscle soreness due to a ripping of carpet action that was at best, foolhardly!!! Standing on the grippers didn't help either....who knew grippers are the carpet equivalent of crocodile teeth?
So....what to do?
Well, Gym Ninja has had to cancel her trip to Vegas in April before she'd even booked it. She has had to post stuff on eBay to try and raise funds. She's really going to have to focus on planning a whole months worth of food shopping for March to keep costs low and cut down on waste. But does this mean non organic now seeing as organic costs so much?
NO!
Just because Gym Ninja is broke, she does not wish to stuff chemicals into her body! There are ways and means you know...ways and means...starting tonight with home made organic broccoli soup.
Thus follows Gym Ninja's quick easy and cheap Soup Recipe:
Panic Organic Broke Broccoli Soup
Grab some great big chunks of organic broccoli, stalk and all!
Stuff them into a microwavable bowl.
Chuck in some crushed organic garlic cloves.
Boil up the kettle and mix up some Knorr Vegetable Stock (complete with chemicals as Gym Ninja has yet to source an organic vegetable stock!).
Tip radioactive vegetable stock onto broccoli and garlic and microwave for a few minutes.
Empty out the bowl into the blender.
Add half a cup of organic semi skimmed milk.
Blend.
Eat.
For dessert Gym Ninja will then mix up a scoop of Maximuscle Strawberry Promax Protein powder with 300mls of cold filtered water and copious handfuls of frozen mixed berries, fresh organic blueberries and raspberries. This will thicken the shake until it is almost a sorbet-like consistency. Gym Ninja will then spoon this into her mouth (having left a suitable time period following her Panic Organic Soup so as not to become water logged!).
Mmm. Actually this is non-sarcastic. both of those things are nice and tasty in Gym Ninja's opinion. No need to eat junk just because one is broke you know. For instance, at lunch time Gym Ninja dined on a tub of cottage cheese and an organic apple. Wow. Jealous? You? Uh huh! ;-)
Oh and if you are also trying to save money then click on the Maximuscle link at the handy side bar to the right...as they have an offer on for Thermobol, the fat burner! You buy two bottles for just £54 instead of £71.98 (so you save £17.98). Worth buying if you use it often. They are also running an offer on a tub of Promax protein powder with Viper Energy Drinks for a bundle price of £39, saving you £18.98. The offers end on 1st March so order now if you use their stuff. Oh and whilst you are on their site there is a chance to win spondoolies by shooting a small video of how Maximuscle products helped you!
See?
You don't ALL have to be as broke as Gym Ninja!
On that note, Gym Ninja is off to look for brown money down the back of the sofa...every little helps apparently!
Toodle Pip!
Gym Ninja xx
Gym Ninja hurts!
Possibly due to over zealous stretching of the neck muscles? Possibly due to over zealous corrective exercise? DEFINITELY exacerbated by hauling around the Blandmobile Company Car for hours at a time the past 2 days! Regardless, Gym Ninja now has a very painful Trapezius and anterior deltoid. NO play time at the gym because of it either! AHHR!
EVEN WORSE, in some sort of karma-type sick trick, Gym Ninja has had to...and she can barely bring herself to confess....BUY Deep Heat muscle rub! What kind of cruel twist of fate is this?
Acutely aware of the ponginess of Deep Heat, Gym Ninja waited until she returned home for the day, and then slathered on the cream. Rub rub rub until it was well rubbed in. Dougal, Gym Ninja's biggest cat, came in, nose a-twitching, to see what was causing the ungodly stench. Oooh, it's Gym Ninja and her muscle rub. :-(
Oooh, that felt a tad better. OK..so maybe Gym Ninja now knows & appreciates why sometimes people have to use this muscle rub? After all......... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHR!
Gym Ninja was ON FIRE!
No joke!
In a complete lack of awareness, Gym Ninja had squeezed on a third of the tube and now her skin was on fire. Great! Muscle soreness diminished. Skin burns heightened. Swap one pain for another why don't you?
So as you can imagine, Gym Ninja is not a joyous soul.
Not only that, she appears to be as thick as the stair carpet that, about 10 minutes post Deep Heat, she decided to rip up off the stairs to make way for the new carpet she has since discovered (courtesy of online banking) she cannot now afford! EEEK!
So, not only has she a sore muscular ache, she also has a burning skin sensation over her shoulder, a pongy Deep Heat scent radiating off her, a sickness at the pit of her stomach due to minus numbers in the old bank account and agitated muscle soreness due to a ripping of carpet action that was at best, foolhardly!!! Standing on the grippers didn't help either....who knew grippers are the carpet equivalent of crocodile teeth?
So....what to do?
Well, Gym Ninja has had to cancel her trip to Vegas in April before she'd even booked it. She has had to post stuff on eBay to try and raise funds. She's really going to have to focus on planning a whole months worth of food shopping for March to keep costs low and cut down on waste. But does this mean non organic now seeing as organic costs so much?
NO!
Just because Gym Ninja is broke, she does not wish to stuff chemicals into her body! There are ways and means you know...ways and means...starting tonight with home made organic broccoli soup.
Thus follows Gym Ninja's quick easy and cheap Soup Recipe:
Panic Organic Broke Broccoli Soup
Grab some great big chunks of organic broccoli, stalk and all!
Stuff them into a microwavable bowl.
Chuck in some crushed organic garlic cloves.
Boil up the kettle and mix up some Knorr Vegetable Stock (complete with chemicals as Gym Ninja has yet to source an organic vegetable stock!).
Tip radioactive vegetable stock onto broccoli and garlic and microwave for a few minutes.
Empty out the bowl into the blender.
Add half a cup of organic semi skimmed milk.
Blend.
Eat.
For dessert Gym Ninja will then mix up a scoop of Maximuscle Strawberry Promax Protein powder with 300mls of cold filtered water and copious handfuls of frozen mixed berries, fresh organic blueberries and raspberries. This will thicken the shake until it is almost a sorbet-like consistency. Gym Ninja will then spoon this into her mouth (having left a suitable time period following her Panic Organic Soup so as not to become water logged!).
Mmm. Actually this is non-sarcastic. both of those things are nice and tasty in Gym Ninja's opinion. No need to eat junk just because one is broke you know. For instance, at lunch time Gym Ninja dined on a tub of cottage cheese and an organic apple. Wow. Jealous? You? Uh huh! ;-)
Oh and if you are also trying to save money then click on the Maximuscle link at the handy side bar to the right...as they have an offer on for Thermobol, the fat burner! You buy two bottles for just £54 instead of £71.98 (so you save £17.98). Worth buying if you use it often. They are also running an offer on a tub of Promax protein powder with Viper Energy Drinks for a bundle price of £39, saving you £18.98. The offers end on 1st March so order now if you use their stuff. Oh and whilst you are on their site there is a chance to win spondoolies by shooting a small video of how Maximuscle products helped you!
See?
You don't ALL have to be as broke as Gym Ninja!
On that note, Gym Ninja is off to look for brown money down the back of the sofa...every little helps apparently!
Toodle Pip!
Gym Ninja xx
Saturday, 6 February 2010
My eyes, My eyes...!
Evening!
Gym Ninja is blogging quickly as she has much coursework to be doing this evening, but didn't want to leave all you Ninjarettes in limbo without a blog.
So, today, being a Saturday, meant that it was a Saturday Slaughter Session at the gym. Woohooo! Schedules meant that GN has not been able to train as often as usual, so she's been averaging 3 sessions a week as opposed to 4 as her standard regime. Off she pootled in the new baby, the Mini Cooper!
Having warmed up on the treadmill, Gym Ninja grabbed her things and headed upstairs to the Spin Studio where she'd been partaking in the usual hour of Extreme Spin on a Saturday morning. As she walked past a bank of treadmills, she heard an odd noise...
*bu dumph, bu dumph, bu dumph....*
Turns out the woman running on the treadmill appears to have a gait issue. Not sure if she is aware she runs with a limp but you could hear the foot pattern clearly on the treadmill.
Brrrrr, the Spin Studio was brass monkeys today. Excellent, as there's nothing worse than over heating the moment you start to work up a bit of a sweat. T'was the good guy who was taking the session again. He likes to start at 10am on the dot so latecomers do not shave off valuable 'sweatage' time for the rest of us. So...off we all went...a combination of hills, standing & seated, interspersed by sprints all set to the kind of music that motivates you to work harder!
The hour flew by, and once it was finished, Gym Ninja headed down to the treadmills again to finish off with a quick 10 minute run to cool down. As GN walked past the end treadmill she noticed Pinky, an acquaintance of hers who she occasionally sees at the gym & chats to. Pinky was busy doing a sweaty uphill speed walk, so Gym Ninja went over to say hi and....
OH NO!
DEEP HEAT!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and not only that, but it was coming from Pinky! What to do? No use trying to save the lining of her own nasal passages now by walking away as she'd already acknowledged Pinky and had engaged in conversation. So with much eye watering and choking, Gym Ninja caught up on some gossip and potentially has a future client for when she 'goes live'. (that's assuming Pinky ends her addiction to Deep Heat of course!)
Soon it was time to move onto the weights, with the upper body workout pencilled in, rather tentatively. Gym Ninja hasn't trained upper body for a whole week due to the shoulder injury she sustained through Power Work with the medicine ball. Today Gym Ninja would have to take it easy, keep the weights fairly light and listen to her body. It can be frustrating taking time until an injury heals, but there is no point rushing in, as if you do then you can often delay the recovery or even make it worse!
The womens section of the gym was newly carpeted in women lying on their backs on exercise mats. Hmm. Not much ab work going on here! Must be the overwhelming stench of DEEP HEAT that was by now, permeating through the entire health club that had knocked them all out like chloroform? God, Gym Ninja will be glad when the Newbies finally outgrow their new hobby and the sales of DEEP HEAT drop!!!
So, with an easy yet tentative upper body workout boxed off, Gym Ninja headed to the showers. She located the only shower cubicle that is near enough a light panel to be illuminated inside (terribly dark the shower area is!), and pumped the icky basic shower button to 'pump through' some water, in a 'Third World Blue Peter Fund Raising style Water Pumps for Africa' type of a way. On went the shampoo.....oh no! Gym Ninja forgot, she'd recently been scalped, so now she'd OD'd on the shampoo and had a foamy afro that would take FOREVER to rinse out with the pump shower. Grrr!
After 46 days of rinsing off her Afro (it was surely now March?) she went to her locker, passing a woman who was busy shredding dead hair out of her hairbrush and casting it onto the floor, in big fluffy dead hairballs that rolled across the changing room floor like the tumbleweed on a Western. Uhhr! Other people and their dirty habits. Would it have taken THAT much effort for her to do that over the bin? Someone's gonna end up with that stuck on their foot! Yuk!
She gathered her stuff and headed towards a bench, only to be totally caught unawares by a naked pudgy woman who was sat on the aforementioned bench slathering on bodylotion. In the split second that Gym Ninja noticed the woman, she (the woman, NOT GN) suddenly opened her legs scissor style, displaying a rather overgrown 'country garden effect' of a bikini line (or not so much line, than Vegetable patch) that nearly made Gym Ninja regurgitate her post workout Protein Shake!!!
Gym Ninja HATED the changing rooms today. She nearly went blind.........
:-(
Gym Ninja x
Gym Ninja is blogging quickly as she has much coursework to be doing this evening, but didn't want to leave all you Ninjarettes in limbo without a blog.
So, today, being a Saturday, meant that it was a Saturday Slaughter Session at the gym. Woohooo! Schedules meant that GN has not been able to train as often as usual, so she's been averaging 3 sessions a week as opposed to 4 as her standard regime. Off she pootled in the new baby, the Mini Cooper!
Having warmed up on the treadmill, Gym Ninja grabbed her things and headed upstairs to the Spin Studio where she'd been partaking in the usual hour of Extreme Spin on a Saturday morning. As she walked past a bank of treadmills, she heard an odd noise...
*bu dumph, bu dumph, bu dumph....*
Turns out the woman running on the treadmill appears to have a gait issue. Not sure if she is aware she runs with a limp but you could hear the foot pattern clearly on the treadmill.
Brrrrr, the Spin Studio was brass monkeys today. Excellent, as there's nothing worse than over heating the moment you start to work up a bit of a sweat. T'was the good guy who was taking the session again. He likes to start at 10am on the dot so latecomers do not shave off valuable 'sweatage' time for the rest of us. So...off we all went...a combination of hills, standing & seated, interspersed by sprints all set to the kind of music that motivates you to work harder!
The hour flew by, and once it was finished, Gym Ninja headed down to the treadmills again to finish off with a quick 10 minute run to cool down. As GN walked past the end treadmill she noticed Pinky, an acquaintance of hers who she occasionally sees at the gym & chats to. Pinky was busy doing a sweaty uphill speed walk, so Gym Ninja went over to say hi and....
OH NO!
DEEP HEAT!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and not only that, but it was coming from Pinky! What to do? No use trying to save the lining of her own nasal passages now by walking away as she'd already acknowledged Pinky and had engaged in conversation. So with much eye watering and choking, Gym Ninja caught up on some gossip and potentially has a future client for when she 'goes live'. (that's assuming Pinky ends her addiction to Deep Heat of course!)
Soon it was time to move onto the weights, with the upper body workout pencilled in, rather tentatively. Gym Ninja hasn't trained upper body for a whole week due to the shoulder injury she sustained through Power Work with the medicine ball. Today Gym Ninja would have to take it easy, keep the weights fairly light and listen to her body. It can be frustrating taking time until an injury heals, but there is no point rushing in, as if you do then you can often delay the recovery or even make it worse!
The womens section of the gym was newly carpeted in women lying on their backs on exercise mats. Hmm. Not much ab work going on here! Must be the overwhelming stench of DEEP HEAT that was by now, permeating through the entire health club that had knocked them all out like chloroform? God, Gym Ninja will be glad when the Newbies finally outgrow their new hobby and the sales of DEEP HEAT drop!!!
So, with an easy yet tentative upper body workout boxed off, Gym Ninja headed to the showers. She located the only shower cubicle that is near enough a light panel to be illuminated inside (terribly dark the shower area is!), and pumped the icky basic shower button to 'pump through' some water, in a 'Third World Blue Peter Fund Raising style Water Pumps for Africa' type of a way. On went the shampoo.....oh no! Gym Ninja forgot, she'd recently been scalped, so now she'd OD'd on the shampoo and had a foamy afro that would take FOREVER to rinse out with the pump shower. Grrr!
After 46 days of rinsing off her Afro (it was surely now March?) she went to her locker, passing a woman who was busy shredding dead hair out of her hairbrush and casting it onto the floor, in big fluffy dead hairballs that rolled across the changing room floor like the tumbleweed on a Western. Uhhr! Other people and their dirty habits. Would it have taken THAT much effort for her to do that over the bin? Someone's gonna end up with that stuck on their foot! Yuk!
She gathered her stuff and headed towards a bench, only to be totally caught unawares by a naked pudgy woman who was sat on the aforementioned bench slathering on bodylotion. In the split second that Gym Ninja noticed the woman, she (the woman, NOT GN) suddenly opened her legs scissor style, displaying a rather overgrown 'country garden effect' of a bikini line (or not so much line, than Vegetable patch) that nearly made Gym Ninja regurgitate her post workout Protein Shake!!!
Gym Ninja HATED the changing rooms today. She nearly went blind.........
:-(
Gym Ninja x
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