Ow.
Gym Ninja hurts!
Possibly due to over zealous stretching of the neck muscles? Possibly due to over zealous corrective exercise? DEFINITELY exacerbated by hauling around the Blandmobile Company Car for hours at a time the past 2 days! Regardless, Gym Ninja now has a very painful Trapezius and anterior deltoid. NO play time at the gym because of it either! AHHR!
EVEN WORSE, in some sort of karma-type sick trick, Gym Ninja has had to...and she can barely bring herself to confess....BUY Deep Heat muscle rub! What kind of cruel twist of fate is this?
Acutely aware of the ponginess of Deep Heat, Gym Ninja waited until she returned home for the day, and then slathered on the cream. Rub rub rub until it was well rubbed in. Dougal, Gym Ninja's biggest cat, came in, nose a-twitching, to see what was causing the ungodly stench. Oooh, it's Gym Ninja and her muscle rub. :-(
Oooh, that felt a tad better. OK..so maybe Gym Ninja now knows & appreciates why sometimes people have to use this muscle rub? After all......... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHR!
Gym Ninja was ON FIRE!
No joke!
In a complete lack of awareness, Gym Ninja had squeezed on a third of the tube and now her skin was on fire. Great! Muscle soreness diminished. Skin burns heightened. Swap one pain for another why don't you?
So as you can imagine, Gym Ninja is not a joyous soul.
Not only that, she appears to be as thick as the stair carpet that, about 10 minutes post Deep Heat, she decided to rip up off the stairs to make way for the new carpet she has since discovered (courtesy of online banking) she cannot now afford! EEEK!
So, not only has she a sore muscular ache, she also has a burning skin sensation over her shoulder, a pongy Deep Heat scent radiating off her, a sickness at the pit of her stomach due to minus numbers in the old bank account and agitated muscle soreness due to a ripping of carpet action that was at best, foolhardly!!! Standing on the grippers didn't help either....who knew grippers are the carpet equivalent of crocodile teeth?
So....what to do?
Well, Gym Ninja has had to cancel her trip to Vegas in April before she'd even booked it. She has had to post stuff on eBay to try and raise funds. She's really going to have to focus on planning a whole months worth of food shopping for March to keep costs low and cut down on waste. But does this mean non organic now seeing as organic costs so much?
NO!
Just because Gym Ninja is broke, she does not wish to stuff chemicals into her body! There are ways and means you know...ways and means...starting tonight with home made organic broccoli soup.
Thus follows Gym Ninja's quick easy and cheap Soup Recipe:
Panic Organic Broke Broccoli Soup
Grab some great big chunks of organic broccoli, stalk and all!
Stuff them into a microwavable bowl.
Chuck in some crushed organic garlic cloves.
Boil up the kettle and mix up some Knorr Vegetable Stock (complete with chemicals as Gym Ninja has yet to source an organic vegetable stock!).
Tip radioactive vegetable stock onto broccoli and garlic and microwave for a few minutes.
Empty out the bowl into the blender.
Add half a cup of organic semi skimmed milk.
Blend.
Eat.
For dessert Gym Ninja will then mix up a scoop of Maximuscle Strawberry Promax Protein powder with 300mls of cold filtered water and copious handfuls of frozen mixed berries, fresh organic blueberries and raspberries. This will thicken the shake until it is almost a sorbet-like consistency. Gym Ninja will then spoon this into her mouth (having left a suitable time period following her Panic Organic Soup so as not to become water logged!).
Mmm. Actually this is non-sarcastic. both of those things are nice and tasty in Gym Ninja's opinion. No need to eat junk just because one is broke you know. For instance, at lunch time Gym Ninja dined on a tub of cottage cheese and an organic apple. Wow. Jealous? You? Uh huh! ;-)
Oh and if you are also trying to save money then click on the Maximuscle link at the handy side bar to the right...as they have an offer on for Thermobol, the fat burner! You buy two bottles for just £54 instead of £71.98 (so you save £17.98). Worth buying if you use it often. They are also running an offer on a tub of Promax protein powder with Viper Energy Drinks for a bundle price of £39, saving you £18.98. The offers end on 1st March so order now if you use their stuff. Oh and whilst you are on their site there is a chance to win spondoolies by shooting a small video of how Maximuscle products helped you!
See?
You don't ALL have to be as broke as Gym Ninja!
On that note, Gym Ninja is off to look for brown money down the back of the sofa...every little helps apparently!
Toodle Pip!
Gym Ninja xx
Showing posts with label Viper Extreme. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Viper Extreme. Show all posts
Wednesday, 24 February 2010
Thursday, 28 January 2010
Snoozy Ninja.
Gym Ninja discovered the ideal appetite suppressant today!!
Ideal for long car journeys where you find yourself reaching for a snack to keep yourself awake. With this, you find that you have NO desire to eat. Not even a bit!
So what is it?
It is...
*drum roll*
A strawberry scented red jelly car air freshener from Asda.
Gym Ninja bought one for the Blandmobile (company car) and used it today. By the time she'd driven to the Lake District and back she felt rather nauseous. Yuk! She certainly didn't want to snack as she drove. So, if picking on long car journeys is a problem for you then why not invest a couple of pounds in one of these?
Gym Ninja is having to cobble together a home-based workout later on today. She is so tired from getting up ridiculously early that she doesn't feel she has the energy to drag herself for a run at the gym (although give her time-if she discovers she has a couple of Viper Extreme Maximuscle Energy Capsules left then she's heading out of that door and off to the gym sharpish!). Instead she will do some jump rope at home in 20 minute sessions whilst cramming in some last minute study on upper and lower body soft tissue complaints for her course over the weekend. Again, she has issues with getting the information to stay in her head as she is tired. However after she finishes work she may have a 20 minute power nap, and then awake to skip and revise. Multi-tasking you see. Stops her sulking. She has not received the call to go and collect her new car so is a tad grumpy about it, especially as she counted 82 Mini's on her journey today.
She's also fretting as this weekend, as part of the 'Fitness Assessment procedure' training, she will do a Bleep Test. Now the Bleep Test is something that is done to assess cardiovascular fitness and estimates your VO2 Max. You whack a couple of cones 20 meters apart and then run between them, ensuring you reach the cone before the beep. The beeps speed up, so you do too. Then when you eventually quit, they count up what level you reached and then congratulate/mock you accordingly.
Gym Ninja has baaaaaad memories of the Bleep Test. She only ever did it once, when she was 11 and a FK at school. (FK=Fat Kid by the way). Back in the day when Gym Ninja hated sports with a passion. She barely made it to level 3 before keeling over, gasping for air, so the whole test thing is bringing back some childhood anxiety! Admittedly, she knows she will be a lot better at it now she is fitter, however she is still dreading the competitive side whereby everyone in her group will run at the same time. Ooer! Who will quit first? NOT Gym Ninja if she can help it. She needs to do well to avenge the fat kid hidden inside her!
So....Back to the old juicing scenario..long time no blog about it eh?
Gym Ninja has had to go 'off piste' a moment before blogging and cobbled together a juice without following a recipe, as she has to use up some near dead vegetables in her fridge...this is what she shoved down her spout, if you pardon the expression..
cucumber x 1/2
kiwi x 2
apple x 1
carrots x 2
broccoli (yeh!)
beetroot x 1
ginger x lump of, unpeeled & organic
Ooer!
As you can see from the photo, it really was a case of lobbing any old nonsense into the Juicer and seeing what came out...That broccoli freaks Gym Ninja out just by looking at it! How can it possible contain any juice? Oh and no the whole piece of ginger didn't go in..just it's 'left leg'.
So what came out? This!
Hmm....same reddish hue due to the beetroot...but with the evil bubbly top....oh and it stank of ginger. Perhaps Gym Ninga added too much ginger?
Anyway, with much trepidation, GN took a sip....and it tasted of....ginger! OW! The ginger almost took the back of Gym Ninja's throat off. Mind you, it failed to disguise the taste of the broccoli, but it really wasn't as bad as expected....oh and yes, Gym Ninja DID hold her breath as she knocked it back.
So...Gym Ninja will now name this concoction..... 'Ooops Juice'. Named after the yellow 'Ooops' reduced stickers they stick on rotting fruit and veg at Asda..
Tadaaaaaa! Go try it yourself. Just don't blame GN if you vomit ok?
Right-Gym Ninja needs to go and revise/sulk/skip, not necessarily in that order.
Toodle pip!
Gym Ninja x
Ideal for long car journeys where you find yourself reaching for a snack to keep yourself awake. With this, you find that you have NO desire to eat. Not even a bit!
So what is it?
It is...
*drum roll*
A strawberry scented red jelly car air freshener from Asda.
Gym Ninja bought one for the Blandmobile (company car) and used it today. By the time she'd driven to the Lake District and back she felt rather nauseous. Yuk! She certainly didn't want to snack as she drove. So, if picking on long car journeys is a problem for you then why not invest a couple of pounds in one of these?
Gym Ninja is having to cobble together a home-based workout later on today. She is so tired from getting up ridiculously early that she doesn't feel she has the energy to drag herself for a run at the gym (although give her time-if she discovers she has a couple of Viper Extreme Maximuscle Energy Capsules left then she's heading out of that door and off to the gym sharpish!). Instead she will do some jump rope at home in 20 minute sessions whilst cramming in some last minute study on upper and lower body soft tissue complaints for her course over the weekend. Again, she has issues with getting the information to stay in her head as she is tired. However after she finishes work she may have a 20 minute power nap, and then awake to skip and revise. Multi-tasking you see. Stops her sulking. She has not received the call to go and collect her new car so is a tad grumpy about it, especially as she counted 82 Mini's on her journey today.
She's also fretting as this weekend, as part of the 'Fitness Assessment procedure' training, she will do a Bleep Test. Now the Bleep Test is something that is done to assess cardiovascular fitness and estimates your VO2 Max. You whack a couple of cones 20 meters apart and then run between them, ensuring you reach the cone before the beep. The beeps speed up, so you do too. Then when you eventually quit, they count up what level you reached and then congratulate/mock you accordingly.
Gym Ninja has baaaaaad memories of the Bleep Test. She only ever did it once, when she was 11 and a FK at school. (FK=Fat Kid by the way). Back in the day when Gym Ninja hated sports with a passion. She barely made it to level 3 before keeling over, gasping for air, so the whole test thing is bringing back some childhood anxiety! Admittedly, she knows she will be a lot better at it now she is fitter, however she is still dreading the competitive side whereby everyone in her group will run at the same time. Ooer! Who will quit first? NOT Gym Ninja if she can help it. She needs to do well to avenge the fat kid hidden inside her!
So....Back to the old juicing scenario..long time no blog about it eh?
Gym Ninja has had to go 'off piste' a moment before blogging and cobbled together a juice without following a recipe, as she has to use up some near dead vegetables in her fridge...this is what she shoved down her spout, if you pardon the expression..
cucumber x 1/2
kiwi x 2
apple x 1
carrots x 2
broccoli (yeh!)
beetroot x 1
ginger x lump of, unpeeled & organic
Ooer!
As you can see from the photo, it really was a case of lobbing any old nonsense into the Juicer and seeing what came out...That broccoli freaks Gym Ninja out just by looking at it! How can it possible contain any juice? Oh and no the whole piece of ginger didn't go in..just it's 'left leg'.
So what came out? This!
Hmm....same reddish hue due to the beetroot...but with the evil bubbly top....oh and it stank of ginger. Perhaps Gym Ninga added too much ginger?
Anyway, with much trepidation, GN took a sip....and it tasted of....ginger! OW! The ginger almost took the back of Gym Ninja's throat off. Mind you, it failed to disguise the taste of the broccoli, but it really wasn't as bad as expected....oh and yes, Gym Ninja DID hold her breath as she knocked it back.
So...Gym Ninja will now name this concoction..... 'Ooops Juice'. Named after the yellow 'Ooops' reduced stickers they stick on rotting fruit and veg at Asda..
Tadaaaaaa! Go try it yourself. Just don't blame GN if you vomit ok?
Right-Gym Ninja needs to go and revise/sulk/skip, not necessarily in that order.
Toodle pip!
Gym Ninja x
Sunday, 3 January 2010
Happy New Gym Year
Gym Ninja's first official 2010 workout at the gym began on 2nd January. 'Yesterday' to you.... A Saturday. You know what that means in GN world? Saturday Slaughter Session! Correct.
Off she pootled, having downed some Maximuscle Viper Extreme Capsules for an added boost of energy (she didn't have any of her usual wheat-free pitta breads to have with peanut butter for breakfast on her hardcore workout day, so had instead had a Promax Shake & figured the Viper would give her a boost seeing as she'd foregone carbs). She'd not attempted a spin class for at least a month due to scheduling.
She arrived at the gym by about 9.15am and already it was fairly busy. The old January rush eh? Lots of new people (Newbies) desperately trying to reverse some of the self-indulgence they'd partaken in. Aren't we all? That is why Gym Ninja is also here-that and her love of working out of course! As ever she began with a run. Just enough time to do 15 minutes on the treadmill before heading upstairs to take part in the 1 hour Extreme Spin Class.
In she walked, gel seat cover in hand. She'd envisaged some saddle soreness due to the fact that her derrière would no longer be used to the spin bikes. Princess Ninja and the Pea situation! The class wasn't as full as she'd expected, but she was delighted to see a new instructor who was very enthusiastic and encouraged everyone to answer her when she spoke.
"How long is this class supposed to be everyone? An hour or is it 45 minutes?" The Instructor enquired.
The room fell silent, the Spin Gang looking at each other shiftily.
'AN HOUR" Shouted out Gym Ninja suddenly. Damned Gym Tourettes!
Well, no point turning up if you plan on cheating yourself by cutting it short before you begin is there? So off we went, into a beast of a spin session that was fantastic from start to finish. The Instructor would periodically hop off the bike and wander around just at the moments when you were flagging, so it kept motivation high and everyone worked hard. Ahh, t'was good to be back in Spin again! Turns out she is due to do the one hour 10am session Sunday too. Gym Ninja is now cancelling out her last lie in, so she can attend!!!!
Following the Spin Session, Gym Ninja started her leg workout. Squats, Romanian Deadlifts, front/back lunges...ahhhhr! Wibbly wobbly legs! By now the gym was really filling up for a Saturday. Lots of new faces! Couples coming in to train together, older people kitted out in their old weight training belts and gloves (but without the weight training body so obviously back after much time off), a few younger people,... all of them absolutely hell bent on sorting themselves out (for want of a better phrase) for this year! Gym Ninja is somewhat concerned however, that large corporate gyms never bother to nurture the Newbies. Does anyone check up on them after their first month to help keep them on track? Do they offer a 'Buddy' system whereby they could link up like-minded people with more established members? No, not necessarily to train with them, but so they have a few 'introductions' and the gym then isn't as scary or intimidating and they have someone to look forward to seeing on those gloomy dark winter days when they'd rather be sat at home watching TV? Isn't it easier and far cheaper to retain members than go and recruit new ones? I guess that is why gyms lock members into annual contracts. Maybe they don't care if they stop attending? After all, the money still rolls in every month. So what DOES stop a Newbie from becoming a regular? Gym Ninja came up with a brief list...
1. Fear!
Gyms are often very intimidating places full of hulking great men and bionic women all strutting around grunting and pounding weights all over the place. The Poor Newbie is petrified that everyone will be looking at them/laughing at them/thinking they are stupid for coming here..
But little Newbie, remember this. No one is looking at you. Firstly, the hulks and bionics are too busy looking at their own reflection to check technique to worry about yours. If you DO catch them staring at you they are probably NOT looking AT you, more 'through' you as they get into the zone.
2. Fear (again)!
The Newbie is fearful of the machines and weights. All scary instruments of torture that clang and whirl and light up and potentially pull all your limbs from your torso, leaving you as a stump with a head. What to do with them? How to set them up? AHHHR!
But little Newbie, all it takes is a few sessions with a Gym Instructor or Personal Trainer and you can gain confidence quickly. Or, just ask someone. They will happily show you how things work.
3. Fear (the sequel)!
Newbie may think that they have a body that cannot possibly set foot over the door of a gym. They fear everyone will laugh or mock their body or stare in the changing rooms.
Little Newbie, stop being a silly billy! EVERYONE has odd things about their body. People do not stare in changing rooms. They do not stare at the gym because do you know what? If you are in there, no matter what your shape, it proves you plan to change and that is the main thing-we all start as a beginner.
So, Gym Ninja suggests that next time you go to the gym and you spot a Newbie staring nervously at you, smile. That's all. She's not asking you to adopt one. It's not like the Donkey Sanctuary whereby if you smile you then get a quarterly newsletter about the Newbie you 'adopted' and pictures of them as they train/reports on how they have done etc. 'For just £2 a month you could help support a gym Newbie on their struggle to overcome the January blues'......
Oh, incidentally, if you are looking for some decent dance tunes to drive you through your workouts, then look no further than this! Gym Ninja paid £9.99 to download the Ministry Of Sound 'Running Trax' fro iTunes...60, yes... 60 tracks and 2 mixes of the tracks! AWESOME! Go check it out!
Right! Off Gym Ninja pops. More revision to do. See you all tomorrow.
PS..
Would you rather adopt a Newbie for £2 a month OR a donkey for £2 a month?
Gym Ninja x
Off she pootled, having downed some Maximuscle Viper Extreme Capsules for an added boost of energy (she didn't have any of her usual wheat-free pitta breads to have with peanut butter for breakfast on her hardcore workout day, so had instead had a Promax Shake & figured the Viper would give her a boost seeing as she'd foregone carbs). She'd not attempted a spin class for at least a month due to scheduling.
She arrived at the gym by about 9.15am and already it was fairly busy. The old January rush eh? Lots of new people (Newbies) desperately trying to reverse some of the self-indulgence they'd partaken in. Aren't we all? That is why Gym Ninja is also here-that and her love of working out of course! As ever she began with a run. Just enough time to do 15 minutes on the treadmill before heading upstairs to take part in the 1 hour Extreme Spin Class.
In she walked, gel seat cover in hand. She'd envisaged some saddle soreness due to the fact that her derrière would no longer be used to the spin bikes. Princess Ninja and the Pea situation! The class wasn't as full as she'd expected, but she was delighted to see a new instructor who was very enthusiastic and encouraged everyone to answer her when she spoke.
"How long is this class supposed to be everyone? An hour or is it 45 minutes?" The Instructor enquired.
The room fell silent, the Spin Gang looking at each other shiftily.
'AN HOUR" Shouted out Gym Ninja suddenly. Damned Gym Tourettes!
Well, no point turning up if you plan on cheating yourself by cutting it short before you begin is there? So off we went, into a beast of a spin session that was fantastic from start to finish. The Instructor would periodically hop off the bike and wander around just at the moments when you were flagging, so it kept motivation high and everyone worked hard. Ahh, t'was good to be back in Spin again! Turns out she is due to do the one hour 10am session Sunday too. Gym Ninja is now cancelling out her last lie in, so she can attend!!!!
Following the Spin Session, Gym Ninja started her leg workout. Squats, Romanian Deadlifts, front/back lunges...ahhhhr! Wibbly wobbly legs! By now the gym was really filling up for a Saturday. Lots of new faces! Couples coming in to train together, older people kitted out in their old weight training belts and gloves (but without the weight training body so obviously back after much time off), a few younger people,... all of them absolutely hell bent on sorting themselves out (for want of a better phrase) for this year! Gym Ninja is somewhat concerned however, that large corporate gyms never bother to nurture the Newbies. Does anyone check up on them after their first month to help keep them on track? Do they offer a 'Buddy' system whereby they could link up like-minded people with more established members? No, not necessarily to train with them, but so they have a few 'introductions' and the gym then isn't as scary or intimidating and they have someone to look forward to seeing on those gloomy dark winter days when they'd rather be sat at home watching TV? Isn't it easier and far cheaper to retain members than go and recruit new ones? I guess that is why gyms lock members into annual contracts. Maybe they don't care if they stop attending? After all, the money still rolls in every month. So what DOES stop a Newbie from becoming a regular? Gym Ninja came up with a brief list...
1. Fear!
Gyms are often very intimidating places full of hulking great men and bionic women all strutting around grunting and pounding weights all over the place. The Poor Newbie is petrified that everyone will be looking at them/laughing at them/thinking they are stupid for coming here..
But little Newbie, remember this. No one is looking at you. Firstly, the hulks and bionics are too busy looking at their own reflection to check technique to worry about yours. If you DO catch them staring at you they are probably NOT looking AT you, more 'through' you as they get into the zone.
2. Fear (again)!
The Newbie is fearful of the machines and weights. All scary instruments of torture that clang and whirl and light up and potentially pull all your limbs from your torso, leaving you as a stump with a head. What to do with them? How to set them up? AHHHR!
But little Newbie, all it takes is a few sessions with a Gym Instructor or Personal Trainer and you can gain confidence quickly. Or, just ask someone. They will happily show you how things work.
3. Fear (the sequel)!
Newbie may think that they have a body that cannot possibly set foot over the door of a gym. They fear everyone will laugh or mock their body or stare in the changing rooms.
Little Newbie, stop being a silly billy! EVERYONE has odd things about their body. People do not stare in changing rooms. They do not stare at the gym because do you know what? If you are in there, no matter what your shape, it proves you plan to change and that is the main thing-we all start as a beginner.
So, Gym Ninja suggests that next time you go to the gym and you spot a Newbie staring nervously at you, smile. That's all. She's not asking you to adopt one. It's not like the Donkey Sanctuary whereby if you smile you then get a quarterly newsletter about the Newbie you 'adopted' and pictures of them as they train/reports on how they have done etc. 'For just £2 a month you could help support a gym Newbie on their struggle to overcome the January blues'......
Oh, incidentally, if you are looking for some decent dance tunes to drive you through your workouts, then look no further than this! Gym Ninja paid £9.99 to download the Ministry Of Sound 'Running Trax' fro iTunes...60, yes... 60 tracks and 2 mixes of the tracks! AWESOME! Go check it out!
Right! Off Gym Ninja pops. More revision to do. See you all tomorrow.
PS..
Would you rather adopt a Newbie for £2 a month OR a donkey for £2 a month?
Gym Ninja x
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