Twice in one Day

Gym Ninja survived The Race For Life! Just in case you all though she hadn't due to the lack of blogging (yet again!). The day began on the train where Gym Ninja got kitted out in her 'team' outfit of fairy wings, tiara and pink tutu. The run was fun..only 5k and barely a run/jog/walk/gab thanks to the continual bottlenecks of women throughout the course. But £300 was raised (yes £200 short of target but it all counts eh?) and Gym Ninja felt virtuous...

SO virtuous in fact that, later that afternoon, she decided to......go to the gym! Yep. Two workouts in a day. This second one was 'sans fairy wings' of course.  Once at the gym another 5k was run, this time on the treadmill and without 4000 women in pink getting under her feet.  Leg work swiftly followed. Plenty of multi-directional lunges in a part of the gym that appeared to have abandoned all hope of ever getting the aircon to work. Cute!  But really, having felt SO virtuous for doing a charity run AND a second workout, all Gym Ninja could focus on was her new 'craze' the Hydropool as her reward. Throughout the leg work, Gym Ninja closely monitored the Hydropool for signs of excessive hairiness, dodgy swingers or other odd looking people. Considering it was the weekend, the Hydropool appeared remarkably quiet.

After the workout ended, abs were done, stretches complete and Promax protein shake quaffed, Gym Ninja changed into her military themed camouflage bikini and walked through the changing area towards the magic door that led to the pool side.  As Gym Ninja passe the toilets, she could hear a mother and child inside a cubicle. As seems to be compulsory with any child under 3 in a gym environment, the child inside the cubicle was wailing loudly....

"Ahhhhhhhhr!!!!' The child screamed

"Ahhhhhr! I don't LIKE poo,  I like Wee! AHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

Oh dear God. Really? Too much information small child thank you very much.

"Look, you have to do it ok?" Answered the mother.

"But I don't want to poo. I want to wee" continued the child at the top of his voice.

"Are you sure?' Questioned the mother nervously? "Don't be doing it in the pool now will you?"

See? This is one of MANY reasons why Gym Ninja will not take up swimming. Sneaky child poo bombs in the water. Yuk!

Anyway, Gym Ninja was by the Magic Door now so through it she went and walked towards the Hydropool. It only had 2 other people in it and yet those people had switched the jets up high, so the pool was like a rabid dog, all foamy and bubbly. At least Gym Ninja HOPED the foaming bubbles were caused by the jets...?  Gym Ninja waded in very carefully, clinging to the side of the pool and made her way to her usual spot, being careful to dodge the tickle jet that often catches the sole of Gym Ninja's foot, launching her up a few meters into the air.....

A man waded towards the Cooker Hood device and cranked it up so that a torrent of water blasted out of it and splattered all over his back....Great! Spray-back! Huge fat droplets of water that were rebounding off the man's back, complete with skin cells were now splatting into Gym Ninja's face. EWWWWWWWWWWWW!  Yet Gym Ninja had nowhere to go! Nowhere! The force of that jet hitting that man meant that if Gym Ninja tried to squeeze past between him and the force of the water, then it was quite possible that she may get blasted with his hair that had been ripped from the follicles of his skin! Gym Ninja recalled the stories she had heard in the past about how hairdressers often get ingrown hairs from customers growing out of their arms etc...Gym Ninja did NOT want to risk having a snowy white man hair growing from her elbow no thank you!!!!!!! Yuk! Again, this was not turning into a relaxing post-workout ritual that was expected.

The moment the cooker hood jet stopped, Gym Ninja exited the pool. Go go go! Time to shower off the other person's skin cells. Heading down the bank of shower cubicles, all the usual ones GN used (the ones that had a smidgen of light thanks to the poor lighting placement above them) were taken. This left a bank of showers all labelled with the following....

"WARNING! THIS SHOWER IS HOTTER THAN NORMAL"

Oh great. Gym Ninja was about to be boiled to death. However at least it would kill off the other guy's skin cells no?  Gym Ninja picked a Death Shower Cubicle. Remember everyone, these showers use the old fashioned (aka tight as f*ck) method of controlling water flow. There is one button to the shower that you press repeatedly to get water of one pre-determined temperature. Constant button pressing is necessary if constant water is needed.   Gym Ninja gingerly leaned towards the push button....best just push it once so the water streams out briefly so that she can determine exactly what temperature  'HOTTER THAN NORMAL' is nowadays.

Would it be:

Centre of a bowl of microwaved porridge hot?
Arm stuck down the side of a radiator in winter hot?
Centre of the Sun hot?

*press*

With an almighty blast worthy of Ron Jeremy the Porn Star (unheard of in these showers which usually whimper and spit a small trickle of water at you) the one single press that Gym Ninja did unleashed a torrent of continual forceful water....................ICE COLD water!

Whaaaaaaat?

That was it! Sweaty un-airconditioned gym session + vocal poo/wee child + splattered skin cells + ice cold shower = NOT a relaxing workout!  

With that, Gym Ninja quickly finished up, dried herself down, got dressed and ran out of the gym.

See you all back here tomorrow!!!!

Gym Ninja x

Race For Life: Blog post part 1

Gym Ninja signed up for the Race For Life today.

Just the 5k mind, as Gym Ninja has dragged her sister into doing it with her and her sister does 'not' run. Not that this bothers Gym Ninja-after all, it's all in a good cause. But she doesn't particularly want to insist her sister does the 10k, only to then have to spend all day plodding around the course with her.
Oooh, that sounds a tad horrid no? But you know what Gym Ninja means. 5k is a compromise and who knows? Maybe Gym Ninja can get her sister to train for it so she can even run it?

So Gym Ninja thinks it's really important that we all try and raise funds for Cancer Research. Sadly, we all know someone who has been struck by cancer. Hopefully they may have survived? Some may have had a difficult battle and sadly lost. There are a few scars on Gym Ninja's heart, the most recent of which is the loss of her beloved Nanna who passed away in July of last year from Cancer of the Oesophagus. So Gym Ninja is running in memory of her Nanna, plus other family members and friends who have lost their battle with cancer-the cruelest disease of all.

One of the main reasons for Gym Ninja's sudden desire to change career and head back into health & fitness was her Nanna's illness. If it is at all possible to reduce or even remove in some cases, the risk of becoming a cancer statistic by healthy eating and regular exercise, then surely it's worth those minutes of working up a sweat or forgoing that tub of Pringles crisps?

Gym Ninja is determined to help people work exercise and healthy eating into their lives. Not only does it make you feel better and look better which has so many knock on effects in a beneficial way, but it helps reduce your chances of succumbing to cancer and other diseases. If you don't do it for yourself, then do it for your loved ones. Imagine how they would feel if you became ill? How would they cope if anything happened to you due to the increased risk of suffering illness brought on by your unhealthy lifestyle?

 Of course, not ALL cancers happen due to an unhealthy lifestyle. Look at Lance Armstrong? An athlete who worked his body hard and fed it all the right nutrients yet he still discovered he had advanced testicular cancer that had spread to his lungs and brain. Yet he fought it, and won! Read his Bio for true inspiration on those days when you feel too lazy to get out of bed and do a workout. We can learn a lot from Lance Armstrong...from every cancer survivor. From every single person who has fought this disease and won or lost their fight...

So, to my Nanna up there in heaven. I am doing this in your memory and to stop anyone else having to go through what you went through, and to prevent anyone else feeling the pain that I feel from losing you.

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God Bless.

Gym Ninja

xx