Saturday, 27 November 2010

Roller coaster Ninja


Obviously things have been going on, hence the lack of blog posts (again). 
Uhh, remember the good old days when Gym Ninja blogged daily? Let us pray those days return as Gym Ninja's head is full of blog fodder ready to spill over into this area of online faffiness.

Thursday saw the return trip to see Vole, the Physio given the task of de-tingling Gym Ninja's arms and hands. The condition (most likely a trapped nerve) was brought on by heavy mileage driving the Blandmobile if you recall?  

Vole: "How are you getting on? Any better?"

GN: "No, in fact if anything it's even worse. More tingles that keeps me awake and affect my grip".

Vole looked back, with her non-responsive face.

Vole: "What about the exercises I gave you? Have they helped at all?"

Hmm, now you can all read back to the last post to see what they were. Effectively a bit of faffy stretching and some rubber band work. Of course, if Vole listened properly then surely having heard Gym Ninja's comment about the tingling growing worse, she'd realise that this in turn meant the exercises had not helped whatsoever?  Gym Ninja clarified this with Vole. Vole looked glum. 


Then followed some physio-waggling of Gym Ninja's arm. Gym Ninja had to say how it felt in certain positions whilst lying on her back like a Muppet.  After much waggling, Vole decided it was definitely upper back/neck muscular tightness that was compressing a nerve that was in turn causing tingles. Great. We kind of knew that before we came here.

Gym Ninja was asked to sit on the bed whilst Vole stood behind her.  Vole pressed Gym Ninja's neck and traps. At one point Gym Ninja mentioned something to Vole.

"I often press there as it kind of helps relieve the pain or discomfort when it flares up".

Vole continued to press on the trigger point silently as Gym Ninja sat in front of her. Gym Ninja felt as if she were posing for one of those Victorian photos-the ones where you sit/stand in a fixed position for ages whilst the camera  takes the shot. 

"What I want you to do, is press on this area and when the pain subsides, press a bit deeper, OK?"

Riiiight. So Vole wants Gym Ninja to do what Gym Ninja has already been doing
No problem. 

Then Vole waggled and twisted Gym Ninja's arm out to the side, flexing the wrist.

"I often do that when it gets tingly" Said Gym Ninja. "It seems to help".

Vole nodded. Well, Gym Ninja assumes she nodded, as Gym Ninja was sat in front of Vole  in the Victorian Photo position.

"OK, so the other exercise I want you to do is this..." And with that, Vole then flexed Gym Ninja's wrist in the EXACT SAME WAY Gym Ninja had already said she already did.


Phyiso exercises for THIS week are exactly what Gym Ninja told Vole she does anyway, and Vole repeated back to her. Fan. Bloody. Tastic. 

Confessional Ninja.

Gym Ninja, has 12 days to a Secret Project,  therefore is eating clean with a vengeance. Everything is being focussed onto this project and Gym Ninja's meals and training sessions are super strict to reflect this. Saying that, sometimes the body just refuses to play ball and forces Gym Ninja to fall headlong, face down, into a bag of chocolate buttons. 

Firstly allow Gym Ninja to explain. She rarely eats chocolate and never eats sweets. Gym Ninja cannot eat sweets as it was SUCH a horrendous addiction that she once had, that the only way to recover and wean herself off the sugar and chemical roller coaster was to go cold turkey. No sweets/ Zero tolerance. This happened May 2009. Now Gym Ninja does not crave sweets. The chemical addiction has been broken. But occasionally, if standing near her Niece's chocolate button stash, she is tempted.....
Yeh. Her 3 year old Niece's chocolate buttons. Gym Ninja took chocolate off a child. OK, so not quite OFF the child. The child wasn't aware the chocolate buttons were in the draw at her grandparents' house. Gym Ninja knew of this.  Gym Ninja's body demanded she try one...and before GN knew it? GONE!

The trick to handling such a disaster is to draw a line under it, and get right back on track with what one was doing before. THIS is how you succeed. Do not use the chocolate button feast as a trigger to launch you into a day or week-long binge Or use it to stop with the healthy habits completely, declaring yourself a failure. Accept it happened. LOOK at why it may have happened? (Gym Ninja had been particularly stressed that day and was lacking in sleep-two factors that make the body crave instant gratification and energy). Then ensure it doesn't happen again. 
It will NOT Happen again. The reward you crave long-term regarding health, fitness and physically how you look and feel, is WAY more rewarding than a 5 minute scoffing of chocolate buttons. Use that focus and move on.

Finally, in this 'erratic' blog post, Gym Ninja would like to tell you all of something wonderful that happened today. It brought more than a few tears to Gym Ninja's eyes & has reminded her that people are truly wonderful and that we often forget it.

A few days ago, Gym Ninja had been on Twitter and posted a tweet asking if anyone had a copy of Lord Sugar's Autobiography she could borrow? The guy is inspirational in terms of how he built his empire out of nothing, how he recovered from major setbacks and pulled himself together and grew stronger because of it. Gym Ninja  decided she would learn much from such an inspirational man and as funds are currently dire, borrowing a book would be a sensible option.   Today, the Postman attempted to batter down Gym Ninja's front door.

SHUSH Postman! Gym Ninja is not sleeping as she has a major gym session planned. Oh and incidentally, why DO you call 3 hours earlier on a Saturday than a week day? THAT doesn't make sense now does it? Anyhow...the door was buckling under his ham fists. Gym Ninja yanked open the door.

There was a parcel. Oh. GymNinja hadn't ordered a thing? Was it an error?  Opening the parcel, Gym Ninja was stunned to see a copy of Lord Sugar's Autobiography.... and a note.  The note was from an online client who Gym Ninja has only known via the wonders of email for just under a month. The client had seen the tweet and bought Gym Ninja a copy of the book.


Truly the nicest thing anyone has done for Gym Ninja for as long as she can recall. Completely out of the blue and such a thoughtful gift. Hopefully Gym Ninja can use Lord Sugar's book to assist her in working towards her own goals, which in turn, are helping others achieve theirs.....

So Gym Ninja is now off to read the book.......


Maximuscle have extended their ever-changing Deal of The Day so you may want to click on a side link and go check out what money you can save today....see? It's all about helping others xx

Friday, 19 November 2010

Physio Ninja

It is true!
Even Gym Ninja requires some help every now and then.  Physio!!!!!!

If you cast your mind back you may recall that, thanks to a previous sales role that involved driving the most hideous Blandmobile Company Car for hours at a time across the UK, Gym Ninja ended up with a compressed nerve or two that lead to aching muscles and numb tingly arms/hands. That in itself also landed Gym Ninja in the MD's office and also straight out of the door having been sacked because of it. (Fondant Fancy was the code word remember?)  Nice. Cheers. Fantastic. 

That was in May. Last week Gym Ninja FINALLY had her first Physio appointment. Well, there's a waiting list apparently.  Gym Ninja's Physio was a quiet woman. VERY quiet. A Physiotherapy equivalent of a Vole. Let us call her Vole.  She wore cartoon socks too. Hmmmmmmmm.............

Vole asked Gym Ninja many many questions about the tingly arms, numbness and how it affected her grip (lucky for anyone who may annoy Gym Ninja, her grip is slightly compromised!).  Vole wasn't exactly exuding confidence. She merely scribbled down some notes, paused and then asked another random question. Listen up Vole, if you don't know what the problem is, just say so? 

After about 15 mins of questions, Vole decided to examine Gym Ninja. Oh. OK. So Gym Ninja has never had Physio before and hadn't realised she'd probably need to wear a layer over her underwear and beneath her jumper. Without this layer, it meant that Vole got an eyeful of Gym Ninja's Assets in what can only be described as lingerie that isn't everyone's daytime choice...

After much prodding and faffing Vole decided Gym Ninja may have a compressed nerve. OK. So even Gym Ninja had worked this out! Thus followed a few demos of  neck stretches and a delightful upper trap/shoulder and neck massage.


Gym Ninja LOVES Physio. The massage was AMAZING! Gym Ninja has a neck that is hot-wired for pleasure so when someone strokes it then it feels fantastic. Gym Ninja bounced out of Physio promising to return the next week having done her neck stretches 4 x daily.

One week on. 
Gym Ninja had maybe managed to remember to stretch her neck twice a day? Ah well. It's not like she wants to become one of those tribal women with the elongated necks with rings is it?Also, thanks to some additional driving and heavy lifting at the gym (the lifting was at the gym, NOT the driving BTW) , the tingling was worse, and painful too. 

Vole greeted Gym Ninja on her 2nd appointment.  Asked how things had been and showed a level of concern that maybe mustered a 5 on a scale of 1-10 when Gym Ninja explained the worsening of the problem? Vole then asked Gym Ninja to lie on the bed and dragged her arm about for a few minutes. 
Gym Ninja's arm, not her own. That'd be weird. 

After the dragging of the arm, Vole now decided Gym Ninja had incredibly tight (and Gym Ninja is now QUOTING Vole directly) "Thingie muscles".


THINGIE muscles? 

"Oh you mean the rhomboids/traps and upper lats?" Asked Gym Ninja. 

Vole nodded. 
"Yep, They are probably compressing a nerve & must have tightened up when you were driving for hours at a time. We need to mobilise it". 

EXCELLENT! More massage! 

Oh wait. But no. No. Vole wanted to teach Gym Ninja some moves to do. The first rehab move was as follows.

To sit on a chair and arch the back over the chair.

"Amount of times?" Enquired Gym Ninja

"A few times" Said Vole, unhelpfully.

A 'few'? Is that higher or lower than 56? OK so Gym Ninja needs to sit on a chair and arch her back a few times. Riiiiiiight. 


Next exercise.

Grab a resistance band and hook it around a door handle.

"Do you have a resistance band?" Enquired Vole?
Vole knows Gym Ninja is a PT.

"Yes I have about 15" Replied Gym Ninja.

The next rehab move was as follows:
Loop resistance band around door handle and stand in front of door gripping each end of band.
Twist from left to right whilst pulling with arms, keeping hips still.
Do this a 'few' times.
Theres that vague word again. 

"How OFTEN should I be doing this a day?" Asked Gym Ninja.

"A few times" Replied Vole.

Gym Ninja raised an eyebrow.

"Er, maybe every few hours?" Said Vole. 


Nobody likes a Vague Vole!

"It'll loosen up the thingie muscles" Said Vole.

Gym Ninja looked at Vole. Great.

Next it was time to lie face down on the massage bed. YESSSSSSSS!

But wait.
Vole merely wanted to prod Gym Ninja's thingie muscles as if trying to pop bubble wrap. 
This was rubbish!

"Do you think it would help if I did some Self-Myofascial Release work on it?" Asked Gym Ninja helpfully.

Vole looked confused.

"Foam Rolling? To loosen the tightness?" Gym Ninja tried to explain further.

"Er....yeh I suppose you could?" Replied Vole, looking blankly at Gym Ninja. 


 After 3 minutes of Bubble Wrap work, Gym Ninja was sent away.

NO massage?

Remarkably, this Vague Vole work has now inflamed the nerve endings which resulted in aching limbs for Gym Ninja last night. Damned Vole! 

So do return next week for your thrilling installment of Vole Watch.


Gym Ninja x

Gym Ninja forgot. The Offer of The Day from Maximuscle.... clicky clicky linky for a bargain!!!!!

Gym Ninja hears there is a saving of over £60 on Today's offer.....

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Photo Ninja


Back again! OK, so admittedly with another brief blog but it's about forming the habit again ok? 

Gym Ninja has noticed a worrying trend at her gym. She's mentioned it before.  It annoys her immensely. OK, so that doesn't narrow things down. So allow this next section to do so...

So, are you getting Gym Ninja's rage now? OK so maybe it's not really rage-worthy, but it is pointless.  Unnecessary even.  Gym Ninja has a few questions for those who partake in such weird habits.......

So the number on the locker isn't enough for you to remember where you stashed your gym kit? Are you REALLY in the gym so long you forget? 

As you DO seem to be unable to retain a locker number or location, you have selected some way of triggering your memory that works best. You thought a cuddly toy hanging from the padlock was a good idea? Not perhaps a coloured padlock?

In what world does a grown adult BUY a keyring with a cuddly toy on it? Did you happen to have the keyring anyway or did you go out and purposely seek a cuddly toy key ring specifically for gym locker use?

FINALLY.....not only is the cuddly toy NOT enough to help trigger your memory, but you have to make the goddam toy wear a T Shirt with your NAME On it?


Yes, Gym Ninja is talking to you Rachel and Sally (see above). Name and shame!


Gym Ninja wonders if the Mens Locker Room have similar problems? 

Just before Gym Ninja goes, she has received thanks for yesterdays bargainous Maximuscle offers. So as you have all been patient, you can have another one. Yep. Consider yourselves spoiled...and there is a link too!!!!! 

Three for Two on Cyclone as a Deal Of The Day! if you've not tried it then do so. Gym NInja is talking noticeable results in 30 days with this stuff.  Apparently they do a different deal every day (hence the name!) 

Now off you pop! Come back tomorrow yeh?

Gym Ninja x

Monday, 15 November 2010

Shockingly Tardy Ninja with bribes


Gym Ninja has been writing a blog post for the past 2 weeks yet has lost the will to live with it. So into the bin it goes...

Just a quick post before normal(ish) service resumes this week.......... Maximuscle have launched 3 new offers on bundles... Fat loss bundles at that. Perfect for the run up to Christmas so Gym Ninja will be kind and tell you about them so you all forgive her for being tardy and not blogging lately ok?


There probably are direct links but GymNinja is still a bit tardy so therefore just suggests you click onto ANY of the Maximuscle ads at the side of this  blog to take you to the page and then click on the special offers tab ok?  

Deal One.

2 x Tubs of Promax Protein Power , 1 bottle of CLA, 1 bottle of Thermobol and a box of Promax Diet Bars..... £99 instead of £161.95

YEP! Good deal huh?

Deal Two

2 x Tbs of Promax Diet, 1 bottle of CLA,  and 1 bottle of Thermobol  £99 instead of £155.96

Deal Three

A Promax Diet Starter Pack (a tub, bars, T shirt and shaker bottle)  £59.00 instead of £84.96

Oh and if that wasn't enough (and Gym Ninja is using this to completely erase your annoyance at the lack of blogging), you get FREE DELIVERY On these orders.

The offer closes on 12th December so get it asap or maybe even think about them as gift boxes for your healthier friends and family? 

OK, enough now as Gym Ninja feels a tad like an advertisement. She is not. She just likes and uses the range so can only recommend what she uses obviously! 

Top Tip: Chocolate Mint Promax is AMAZING as a flavour. They also offer it in the Promax Diet Bars too which tastes like After Eights (mmm). Oh and they do Promax Meal Bars in Chocolate ORange (yum) and the new flavour Berry , which Gym Ninja has decided tastes a bit like marzipan? Or does it? Gym Ninja hasn't eaten Marzipan for 20 years!!!!!! click on the side parts to take you to the site. Saves on typing it in at the top.  But wait 10 mins. Gym Ninja is just off to place an order and doesn't want the stock to run out ;-)

Toodle pip

Gym Ninja xx