Wednesday, 28 July 2010

Great Uncle Harry strikes again

Great Uncle Harry ended up being an inspiration again today. You remember him? 92 (yep he's had a birthday since Gym Ninja last mentioned him) and keeps himself active by twice daily completing a 3 mile walk up the Malvern Hills and also daily calisthenic exercises he learned when in the Army.

Well Gym Ninja had a few clients to train today and rocked up to the private studio half an hour early to find two maintenance men and a male cleaner in the gym. Gym Ninja had met the maintenance men before as she'd found an air bubble in the flooring and this had then entailed them ripping up half the studio floor to fix it!  The male cleaner was introduced to Gym Ninja-let us call him Dave.

"You should come and train with me one day" Suggested Gym Ninja to Dave.

Dave screwed his face up and shook his head, before explaining that gyms weren't his 'scene'.

"My brother does that and he's a triangle shape" He said, referring to the V Taper that often shows on a male physique.  "I don't like that!"

Gym Ninja then decided to explain to Dave about training styles and how there are different ways of training for different shapes. Gym Ninja then used the European Athletics as an illustration...

"See the shape of the shot putter? And the marathon runner and the sprinter? They all have different physiques and they all train differently to suit their sport. So you can choose how to train to reflect how you look."

Dave nodded.

"Is there nothing you enjoy outside of the gym? You don't HAVE To exercise inside a gym you know." Continued Gym Ninja.

Dave thought & then said "Boxing".

"I did boxing a few times when I was thinner and some guy who was a pro boxer saw me and said that I had potential. That affected me as nobody has ever said I had potential before but I never tried it again. I'm too old now".

He gave a wry smile.

"You should do it!" Said Gym Ninja enthusiastically. "Look, feeling how you do isn't an inevitable part of aging, it's down to use. If you had a car and left it parked up for years then it'd struggle to start and have all sorts of running issues. If you drove it daily it'd run fine. The body is the same. If you rest, you rust!"

Then followed Gym Ninja's story about Great Uncle Harry being 92 and very active and sprightly due to his 6 miles a day  hill walks.  Dave stood there, open mouthed.

Then, he said something that even Gym Ninja hadn't anticipated.

"That's it! I WILL do boxing again! I know I don't know your Great Uncle but I want to be like him. Thank yoU SO much for that. I'm going to start boxing again" And with that, off he went, a big smile on his face.

HOW amazing is that?

It is THAT buzz when you see a person get fired up about being active that makes it exciting for a PT. That is why Personal Trainers help people. Knowing the adventure that is about to begin and how positive that person will soon feel makes it  just as exciting for the Personal Trainer as it is for the individual.

Gym Ninja will keep you all informed about Dave....

Gym Ninja x

Saturday, 24 July 2010

Saturday Slaughter

Ahh yep, blogging the same day it actually happened. Wow!

Today is Saturday and today was Saturday Slaughter Session time. Now Gym Ninja had yet another late night due to nothing other than general 'faffing' so had to drag herself out of bed today. She was also hoping that her mahooosive order from Maximuscle would arrive seeing as it hadn't done yesterday? By mahoosive Gym Ninja means 3 tubs of Promax (some with the special offer of 20% extra free...check out THIS LINK if you are interested in that as it is also on selected flavours of Promax, Promax Extreme & Promax Diet), a box of Promax Crisp bars which are fab if you want a guilt-free sweet snack yet have some protein too (good with a nice hot cuppa by the way!) and a tub of Promax Diet.  They are doing some good offers at the moment so go check out the links and see what else they have offers on as they do tend to change all the time?

No sign.


But a Slaughter Session waits for no Ninja, so out of the house galloped GN, with barely enough time to neck a Diet Emerge Energy Drink (still an absolute bargain at 25p per can of chemical fizziness ) before arriving at the gym. It was quieter than usual. Maybe down to the fact that the schools have now broken up and all the parents are out entertaining their bored children?

As there was a Y in the day, this meant NO air con was on at the gym. Maybe those huge air con panels on the wall are merely 'Representative Art Installations'?  Anyhow, Gym Ninja found herself warming up on a treadmill  next to Clippy who was currently doing her standard 10% incline, leaning back holding on type walk. A girl walked past, a huge fake flower the size of a side-plate clipped onto her head. Remarkable. Lycra and clip-in hair ornaments. Uhh, the warm up was hard work. Last week's boundless energy seems a distant memory. But up the stairs to the Spin Studio climbed Gym Ninja, and took up her place on her 'usual' bike.

Dangly immediately scolded Gym Ninja.

"Where were you AGAIN last week? You said you'd come in Sunday! I looked a right muppet as I put me towel on yer spin bike to save it for you and I had to move it to let someone else sit there!"

Dangly had pain and hurt in his eyes.....

"Yeh sorry about that but I slept in." Confessed Gym Ninja. "Er, I'm not going to be here tomorrow either as I've a client to train".

Dangly looked as if he were about to explode.

"OK so that will be THREE Sunday Spin Sessions in a row you'll have missed. That's IT! You're getting a warning!"

At this, he waggled his finger. Gym Ninja gave him a 'look'.

The class began, and it was then immediately apparent that Gym Ninja's usual bike had been wrecked when she was not here last time. She had a floppy pedal!!!!! Well, OK so the pedal strap didn't work. Every time it was tightened, it'd just then slowly loosen until Gym Ninja's left foot was left flailing around like it was made of rubber. After 10 minutes Gym Ninja abandoned the bike and moved to a fresh one.  

The room was BOILING hot! The air con wasn't even blowing warm like it usually does. It wasn't blowing at all and even the Instructor who sits on a bike that has arctic air con streams blowing over her at all times was now sweating like a pig too. Great. Feeling tired and now the unbearable 'spin in a sauna environment' for the next hour. Joy! But what can Gym Ninja do when she's shut in a baking hot sauna style room but sweat like a pig and soldier on?

At the back of Gym Ninja's mind (and head) was the thought 'what about my hair?'

No, this was not Gym Ninja being vain. No. Last night Gym Ninja was bored so had whacked on a brown/black colour hair dye on, and as any girl knows, that first rinse is never quite enough to

a) Remove all of the dye
b) Remove that post-hair dye smell.

So what was the worry about the hair? Well anyone who has seen Gym Ninja post-spin will notice it appears she has dunked her head under water for an hour. So....what if the left-over hair dye that never quite comes off after that first wash decides that NOW is the time to start streaking it's way down Gym Ninja's face and neck? Great. Would Gym Ninja emerge from Spin as the missing member of Kiss? GN could certainly smell the hair dye....the heat and the sweat was encouraging it to run free...

EVENTUALLY (!) the hour was up and the cool down commenced. By this point Gym Ninja's sweat towel was sodden and had no absorbency left. Then the lights went up and......


Kiss did NOT have a new member. Admittedly Gym Ninja again appeared to look post-swim, however there were no black streaks snaking their way across the delts.

With that, Gym Ninja squelched out of the spin studio, nipped to the changing area to dry off and then finished up with some weights work and abs.  Gym Ninja really wanted to hit the Hydropool today too as it's been way too long since her last venture into it, however she decided that it was tempting fate and it would be too hard to explain away a 'BP Oil Spill' type slick of black across the pool if her hair dye decided to finally run.

It is now a fair few hours later and still no sign of the Maximuscle Delivery. Pah!
Ah well, Gym Ninja possibly still has a few scrapings of powder at the bottom of her near-empty tub of Choc Chip protein...fingers crossed it arrives soon......

Toodle pip

Gym Ninja x

Bits & Bobs

Can't think of what to name the blog post today so Gym Ninja has come up with a suitably vague meaningless one.  Perhaps don't hold out too much hope for a corker today eh?

So, after the last rant of a blog post aka 'who rattled Gym Ninja's cage' fired off at 2.30am, Gym Ninja is now more stable and has recognised that for every friend who lets you down, there is one who steps up to the mark & then some. Just as well eh?   Now, back to the gym.....

After the 'rant', Gym Ninja headed that day (admittedly only a few hours later) to the gym. Work off some of that annoyance really. Plus perhaps also to work off a jar of low fat peanut butter that 'may' have appeared in Gym Ninja's house, and within 12 hours left it, empty. That seems excessive no? Is it worse if Gym Ninja tells you that for 7 of those hours she was asleep too......? *burp*

As Gym Ninja walked towards the changing rooms a Personal Trainer was standing chatting to a tubby lady.

"I'm actually an iron lady myself !" Said the woman to the PT.

*cue peals of laughter from the Personal Trainer, his head thrown back like that cartoon head with the hinged jaw on that old toothbrush advert-you remember the one?*

Aww, there was no need for such an excessive guffaw now was there? That lady has feelings too. (Hmm, Gym Ninja is still a tad sensitive to things).

Gym Ninja started her gym session, warming up on the X Trainer. The gym was full to bursting with school kids. Older ones though, maybe 14-15 years old? All trying out the gym equipment, some in the aerobics studio doing circuits,  & some crowding around the PowerPlate machine nervously as a friend stood jiggling on it.  It was being taken to the gym as part of school PE lessons that actually sparked Gym Ninja's interest in it. Up until then she'd hated anything that encouraged her to sweat or move...... aww, maybe there is a fledgling Gym Ninja amongst the group of slightly p*ssed off looking teenagers?

Despite having no apparent trace of air con on, Gym Ninja found her cruising speed for running increased to 12kph. Not bad on 2 teaspoons of sleep and an audience of a billion teenagers eh?  The teen on the next treadmill kept peeking at Gym Ninja's speed dial, then looking at her own, getting all panicky and gripping the treadmill harder. Gym Ninja was just showing off really. Must be the peanut butter fuelling the run?  After all, peanuts are an ingredient in dynamite donchaknow.  now Gym Ninja will wait whilst all you dis-believers google that fact and then return, raising your eyebrows, nodding your head and muttering 'She's right you know, they are!'.......

After a dynamite start (do you see what GN did there?), the session went somewhat downhill. Gym Ninja  made the error of listening to the backlog of Scott Mills Daily Podcasts (off of Radio One as he would say) & if any of you heard the 'Unlucky Gary' stories then you'd appreciate why this was a mistake?  Gym Ninja suffered from a nasty case of 'Snigger Gurning' Now Snigger Gurning is rather embarrassing and usually is triggered by listening to something highly amusing on your iPod in a crowded area. You then have an uncontrollable urge to guffaw out loud yet you cannot, for fear of being one of those people that others cross the road to avoid. So you try and suppress it. The laugh cannot be surpressed though. It starts to burst through your cheeks. You tighten your lips and start to gurn as the laugh fills the cheek cavities and then spreads to the space between your gum and lips. When it gets here you are DOOMED! Full blown gurning, sometimes accompanied by squeaky grunt-based noises. Pfft!

Now it was a leg training session so Gym Ninja had to then sweat like a pig as she worked her lower body. All without air con and now, also adding to the 'drama', was a scent of cow fields filling the gym. Seriously, sort out the air con system as something REALLY isn't right!   After the leg workout, ab crucifixion and cool down, Gym Ninja staggered towards the spiral staircase. This was a short cut downstairs straight into the changing rooms and would remove the need for Gym Ninja to stagger down the main staircase, which due to the leg wobbliness, meant that she'd have to grab the metal handrail and suffer the compulsory electric shock. spiral staircases are NOT good at the best of times, yet after a leg session? It did not help matters either that GN managed to get her right foot wedged in between the gap near the narrow part of it. There is nothing quite so panicky as being jammed in a spiral staircase inside a gym that has reached a temperature of a billion degrees Fahrenheit and that is scented by cow sh&t.

Quelling her rising panic, Gym Ninja managed to release her foot and make it safety inside the changing rooms where she unloaded her locker, showered, and then put her handbag on the bench as she got changed.  Two OAPS came into the same part of the changing areas as Gym Ninja dressed, and sat down on the bench.


One of them was half sitting on Gym Ninja's handbag. Now what? The OAPs were deep in conversation about the husband of one of their daughters...

"He doesn't even load the dishwasher apparently.." Said the OAP hatching Gym Ninja's handbag...

Gym Ninja started to fret. She had a Maximuscle Promax Diet bar in her bag. What if the OAP was sitting on it? Her weight, combined with her body heat would start to mangle the bar. Would Gym Ninja really then want to eat a bottom-warmed Promax Diet bar????



The final humiliation of that particular session was the evil incarnate that is the body lotion bottle in a public place.  Now body lotion bottles behave 99% of the time when you are at home. The MOMENT you take them public, they misbehave. Gym Ninja suffered the orgasmic body lotion effect (where it erupts suddenly all over your boobs) and also the 'dodgy tummy effect' where it mimics a case of really bad wind.  Great. On the bright side though the body lotion dodgy noise soon shifted the OAP off Gym Ninja's handbag........

That's all for today. Gym Ninja is spoiling you. Now go about your business and be sure to pass on the peanut fact eh?

Gym Ninja x

Thursday, 22 July 2010

The Helpful Saboteur

There are millions of people out there who take an interest in health, fitness & nutrition. MILLIONS...

Those people who are wanting to stay healthy and strong. 

Those who have a goal such as a wedding or holiday to reach. 

The people who have had a bit of a kick up the arse when it comes to their health & have been scared into looking after themselves. 

Those to whom it is second nature as they've always lived like that.

Don't forget the people who's jobs require a certain standard of fitness, such as the Emergency Services, Athletes, Fitness Instructors.

Hell, what about the people who actually 'enjoy' exercise for the sake of it? Freaky huh? 


Think on though;....are all of these people educated to the same level in what they know?
Not a chance. 
Even those of us who have studied for Professional Industry-Recognized Fitness Qualifications all have varying levels of knowledge, expertise and skills. That's just how it works. Fact. You gain a qualification and the learning carries on...forever! Not just in health & fitness, but in all sectors. For instance, not all Medical Professionals have the same knowledge as each other & us 'non-medical folk' can claim to know a few things when it comes to illness, injury and the like too can't we? See how it works? Amateur level and Professional level and varying degrees of knowledge throughout. It's a fantastic thing. You don't need to have the desire to take it to a professional level or make it your career to be knowledgeable and passionate. If you love it, educate yourself and enjoy!

What I DO find hard to understand is the Helpful Saboteur.

There is a handful of people who have come to the surface now that I have obtained Professional Qualifications & am carving a career out of being a Personal Trainer. These people have an interest in health, fitness and nutrition. They enjoy it. They have seen 'great' results and get a real buzz from what they do and it goes without saying that they LOVE To talk about it. Well you do, don't you. when you enjoy something? So how is this making them a Saboteur? What are they sabotaging exactly?

Other people's fitness results. 

Yep. Funny eh? They are so into health and fitness and yet they appear to want to stand in the way of someone looking to take their first steps into a healthy lifestyle (or return to it). How so?

I get asked on here a fair bit from people when it comes to questions about what they should eat, what exercises should they do, how can they reach this goal, how should they avoid that result, is there anything they can do to get rid of this....and so on. This is great. Questions mean they are interested. I'm happy to share my knowledge, such that it is. I'm always reading more, and educating myself continually so I'll always hopefully add to the value of what I can advise. If it helps them then great. I'm not going to with hold information or insist that they pay for my advice. I'm happy to share and help and encourage.

Sometimes, they decide that they like what they hear from me, yet decide that they need someone to help them achieve it. So they start to enquire about hiring me. How much will it cost? What does it entail exactly? Can I help them? RIGHT! Listen up! Now at THIS stage, I am seeing that handful of people I mentioned earlier, pop up. Not always directly and obviously...not all the time. Sometimes it's behind the scenes. But they appear, and they start to throw in their bit of knowledge and they start to try and lead that interested person away. They have a bit of knowledge and it's useful. It worked for them.

"Yeh I do this, and I train like this, and I eat this", They say.

"Of course I do it in moderation-no need to go crazy! It's all about balance you see!". That last statement is pretty much always targeted at me. Apparently I do not do this in moderation, nor do I balance it out. 

This is then usually followed by a breakdown of what they do themselves, how they train, when they train, and how simply amazing what they do is. They then suggest to the aforementioned inquisitive person, that instead of hiring me, a 'professional', to help them on the road to correct and solid training that can give them a great start to fitness (after all, I've been trained to know exactly how to get results in the fastest, safest way and am STILL learning), that they don't bother, and instead just 'take their advice' and do it on their own. 
*cue another list of tips/recipes/exercise plans from the Helpful Saboteur.....*


Here's the 'deal'. What worked for you worked for YOU. You have a certain medical history, lifestyle, stress and sleep patterns, commitments, likes & dislikes and so on. It's worked, and you saw results. Yeh, you say you don't want to go crazy and get obsessed. No need for that you say! Hmm sometimes I wonder if this is this in a way to justify to others and yourself that you do not look particularly in shape or fit? Hey, overweight people can be fit too right?

Yes they can. There are levels of fitness ad you choose the level you strive for. 
No, no, you are not obsessed or vain or any of those 'adjectives' you throw towards me, are you? Nah. So if the person just does what you say then they too can look just like need to waste money on a luxury like a Personal Trainer is there?


A Personal Trainer MAY seem like a luxury to you, but think on. Is it?

A Personal Trainer can be hired as and when or for a specific time period, in order to help someone reach their fitness and health goals. They are paid for their knowledge, expertise, and experience that they bring to YOU as a client. There isn't one programme suits all. There really isn't! Bodies come in all shapes and sizes. They store fat in different areas, have injuries, have weaknesses and muscle imbalances, food intolerances, time constraints and so on. The Personal Trainer can offer a BESPOKE programme that works for the person as an individual taking ALL of this into account. It's not the workout 'plan' you've been following half-heartedly out of a magazine for the last 2 years, but an up to the minute, researched, proven way of mixing up fitness and nutrition with lifestyle guidance and corrective exercises to help the client. It's periodized, and designed to keep the results coming as the body strives to adapt. You may want to follow your own programme and that's great and fine and dandy for you, but are you really in a position to start prescribing stuff for someone else who has decided they require advice so that they can do it right this time? 

Let's go back to you. You're not a professional. Neither was I, yet I too gave out advice. Sure I did! I loved giving out advice! What I DIDN'T do, and this is the whole reason for this post, is try andSTOP someone who may be considering hiring a professional. I'd give advice when asked, and then if they wanted to hire someone then sure, why not? I'd not go out of my WAY to talk them out of it, saying it was a waste of money or that they didn't need it and why didn't they just do as I did? Yet you do this? A few of you religiously do this and I see it over and over again and I wonder why?

You've not changed your programme for ages have you? In fact, you've not seen decent results since that initial weight loss you talk about really. You're just say you don't want to 'take it to the extreme' or 'get all unfeminine and muscly' or 'become obsessed and no fun'. You say that you are 'far too busy' sto spend hours in the gym like me. All comments that have been thrown at me as if some sort of horrendous slur. Well listen up! I don't train daily. I don't spend hours in the gym. I am the master of a powerful yet short workout. It works, because I know what I am doing, how to do it and how to accommodate my own imbalances/imperfections/goals/time constraints etc. 

Nah, You don't want muscle do you? But you really don't need to tell me that as it is clear by the soft shape of your body, that is now simply a smaller version of the shape you were when you first started on your self-created workout regime....You started off pear shaped and a size what? You're now 3 sizes smaller-yippee....but you know what? You're still that pear! Muscle isn't bodybuilding. It's strength and what gets you out of that armchair when you are 80. It's not vanity. It's essential. 

Going back to the Medical professional reference earlier.....what if the same person speaks to you & says they are about to consult a Doctor because of certain symptoms that are causing them pain.? Do you then chuck in YOUR experience and prescribe medication to them to save them the luxury of consulting a doctor???? After all, you had something 'similar' once didn't you? Maybe you can give them your old meds? It worked for you! 

Let's look another way...maybe you have some knowledge on electrics and wiring? You fitted that plug on that toaster. Your friend was considering hiring an electrician to re-wire the first floor of their home but no, you stop them. Don't be wasting your money on a luxury like an electrician when YOU can show them how it's done...

Are you seeing it yet? Are you maybe one of those Helpful Saboteurs? Offering advice in a well-meaning way to help your friend? Yet by doing so, you're not helping them, are you? If they decide to take your advice rather than hire a professional, then what will they get? Well, who knows? At best maybe fitness and health like yours? At best. At worst, injury, further muscular imbalances, or even just a waste of their time. You yourself didn't want to go crazy did you? You set your goal to 'average'. ..... apparently...

Yet you didn't. I don't buy it! Nobody sets out on a fitness regime to become average looking. Nobody wants to get in shape for others to not really notice that they are now far fitter and healthier. No it's not always about aesthetics, but if you were 'warned' that following a Professional workout and lifestyle programme to help improve your health had a side effect of giving you a better physique aesthetically, would you stomp off ina huff and refuse to begin because all you care about is how healthy you are and you don't want any of this 'better body' malarkey as it's just vain... REALLY? 

A Personal Trainer is not a luxury. A 'luxury' would be that bottle of wine you buy yourself on a Friday night and drink whilst eating takeaway. A 'luxury' would be that big bowl of ice cream you rewarded yourself with because you went for a 15 minute run 5 days ago. You find the money for that don't you? But if you knew what those rewards an treats that mean you're not taking it to the extreme were actually doing to your body, would you still have them? You don't really know do you, and therein lies the difference between myself and you. Additional knowledge-something I CAN offer the paying client. 

A Personal Trainer is sometimes EXACTLY what a person needs. If you see that they are interested in it, and are asking me questions, then WHY are you trying to stop them? Do you think I am some sort of lycra version of Dick Turpin, ready to rob them blind? Do you think they are wasting their money as I cannot offer them anything they can't 'find out' for themselves? Really? Do you not just need to look inside a gym at all of those people following their own workouts and work out a percentage of them who actually have the body that shows they know? The body that is changing constantly? That every month they can see measurable improvement and results from what they do? Those people are a minority. Yes there are those who see increased endurance and fitness. Those who see signs of body sculpting and fat reduction. But the majority do not. If it were THAT easy to work it all out and self-design a programme then that gym would be FULL Of Gods and Goddesses!!!!! 

So, next time you find yourself hell-bent on stopping someone hire myself or another fitness professional then perhaps stop before you start? Share your knowledge by all means, as we all learn from each other, but do not stand in their way or go out of YOUR way to prevent them hiring a professional. If its truly not for them then trust me, they won't hire me. I'm happy to give free advice. But having read this, maybe see if this is you? Perhaps you don't even realise you are doing it? Yet you are. It is 4 of you. I100% guarantee it is 4 of you and you've all done it on more than one occasion. 

Thanks for needed to be said.

Sunday, 18 July 2010


Gym Ninja is seriously out of the habit of a daily blog eh? Probably as she is still sorting out her new regular 'routine'.

So you can catch up, allow Gym Ninja to regale you with some past happenings since we last talked about her!

Gym Ninja has a dodgy iPhone. The 3GS is playing up something chronic and moreso since the new software update, to the point that the battery would rain by 50% within a couple of hours. Eeek! Do not drain Gym Ninja's 'world'. GN cannot cope without the iPhone, so with this is mind she booked in to the Genius Bar at Apple. Surely a real live genius would help?

Friday dawned and Gym Ninja walked into her local Apple store, trying to look directly ahead and not be drawn to the iPads to her left. Gym Ninja has a Mac, a MacBook, and an iPhone so obviously an iPad which is near identical yet sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo different is essential for her life. *ahem*

Once seated at the Genius Bar, she was met by a Skateboarder who happened to be a 'Genius'. Who knew? Looked like a Skateboarder to Gym Ninja!    Gym Ninja then explained the problem of the ever draining battery whilst Skaterboy listened on. He then took Gym Ninja's beloved iPhone and rammed a couple of probes into it, like something off the Sci Fi 'Alien Experiments With Probes' genre...

"Water Damage!" Announced Skaterboy.

"The probes have turned pink which is a sign that water has gotten into the iPhone and is causing it to short circuit. I'm afraid water damage isn't covered by the warrantee"

Gym Ninja did a big 'O' shape with her mouth. WATER damage? Gym Ninja hates water. How can this have happened........and then......ahhhh.

"Ahh, It's SWEAT damage, not water damage." Confessed Gym Ninja.

"I sweat all over my iPhone when I'm training at the gym you see as I stash the iPhone down my top."

*cue cute innocent smile*

Never has Gym Ninja ever seen anyone want to drop an iPhone as fast as Skaterboy did. He managed to stop himself, yet adjusted his grip on it so only the tips of two fingers were now holding it.

"Er, I'll go and speak with the Manager. Like I say, it's not normally covered by the warrantee but I will see what he says".

And with that, Skaterboy and Ninjaphone departed (with Skaterboy still barely touching the iPhone).

5 minutes later Skaterboy returned.

"We'll replace it just this once. We'll have to order a new 3GS in & will ring you when it's ready to switch".

Skaterboy handed back the sweat damaged iPhone to Gym Ninja as she beamed at him.  Perhaps stashing a few bikini pictures of herself (taken to help her decide on which bikini to purchase btw) on her iPhone pays dividends when a Store Manager is deciding whether to help out a customer or not? Top Tip ladies!!!!

Saturday dawned... (yes Ok so GN has skipped regaling you with a few workouts but she's forgotten what happened ok?)...Saturday SLAUGHTER Session time!!!!!!

As Gym Ninja bounced through the turnstile she managed to wedge herself inbetween the prongs. Ooops! Too much Diet Emerge Energy Drink making her a tad too fast for the turnstile operation. Also made her look like a spaz....

For once in MONTHS Gym Ninja had time for a 10 minute run prior to spin. Just like the 'old days'. Excellent. If Gym Ninja recalled, the run prior to Spin really helped with the energy levels believe it or not?

The run was 'effortless'. Woohoo! Must be the combination of Diet Emerge and the fact that Gym Ninja is once again sleeping OK.  Next stop, the Spin Studio. Gym Ninja bounded into the room and started to set up her bike, chatting to Dangly her 'bike neighbour' as she did so...

'What's all of that on your neck? That water?" Asked Dangly.

"It's sweat! I just did a quick run" Replied Gym Ninja.

Dangly eyed her nervously, before muttering something about Gym Ninja being a tad too bouncy today.

Chatting about regular attendees, Gym Ninja ended up realising that one ofthe regulars to Spin hadn't been for ages.

"Bike Man hasn't been for ages has he?" Said Gym Ninja to Dangly.

Dangly stared at Gym Ninja.

"Are you joking? He was sat in front of you LAST WEEK!"


Looks like Gym Ninja isn't observant.

"Are you sure?" Asked Gym Ninja as she crossed the room towards the door to throw away her empty can of energy drink.
"The guy with the glasses who is obviously a cyclist? HIM?"

The words were barely out of Gym Ninja's mouth when the very man walked in through the doors in a high viz yellow cycling top.

Dangly looked at the man, looked at Gym Ninja and threw her a 'See-told you!' look across the room. What WHERE The chances?

Bang on 10am the class began, and Gym Ninja pedalled away. Today however Gym Ninja didn't find it as tough. Yes, Gym Ninja broke a sweat, but not to the 'been for a swim or head stuck in a bucket of water' level l she normally sports after the hour is over. Remarkable what sleep and a warm up run can do. According to the Polar Heart Rate monitor the workout was pretty much as intense as it usually was too.  Great stuff.

After Spin was Lower Body work. and Gym Ninja planned on super-setting her legs to a pulp!   High volume and medium weights...

Barbell Squats with Straight legged Deadlifts
Sumo Squats with barbell cleans
Bulgarian Split Squats with one legged dumbbell deadlifts
Then, just to be on the safe side (it does the legs good to be beasted like this once every month), Gym Ninja super-setted frontal plane lunges with Romanian deadlifts.

OOOOOH! Job well done. Yet STILL Gym Ninja had some bounce in her. Let this be a lesson to us all....SLEEP is the best energizer ever. Not only that, it helps regulate appetite as it controls ghrelin levels (that increase hunger levels & fat mass), reduces cortisol & promotes rest and recovery in the body. That, plus a can of Diet Emerge and you're Tigger for the day! ;-)

Until next time (whenever that may be)

Gym Ninja x

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

Tuesday dawns...

So, Gym Blog for Tuesday Ninjarettes! Have you double checked what you have missed in terms of blog posts gone by? Gym Ninja is now forgetting to 'advertise' the recent posts in her usual manner so check anyway, just in case you missed any eh?

Gym Ninja decided that Tuesday required a morning gym session.  Much needed to be done that day and if Gym Ninja left the workout until evening there was a good chance that it may not happen. See? Always pre-empt any possibility of skipping/failing to do a workout by looking ahead at your diary and scheduling in when is most suitable and then STICK to it!

Off Gym Ninja went, having managed to leave putting on her black bootleg lycra until the very last minute to avoid the Ninja Cat Trap.
The Ninja Cat Trap is when one of Gym Ninja's cats waits, sitting aloof on the window sill or draped over the back of the sofa, until Gym Ninja puts on black lycra (or black anything for that matter) before wrapping itself all over GN.  Thus a layer of car fur is then deposited along the length of the trouser leg. Sometimes waiting until the very last moment to complete ones outfit is the only way of avoiding the trap.

The car park at the gym was RAMMED! It was like the post Christmas rush again. Who were all of these people up early on a Tuesday FFS?

Gym NInja parked up and headed to the door, as a car pulled up and a guy helped out another man in a wheelchair. Gym Ninja always feels inspired and also a bit guilty when she sees people with disabilities still focussed on getting to the gym to train.
Inspired because it shows they are dedicated to stay fit and healthy no matter what.
Guilty for those times Gym Ninja cannot be bothered working out and so makes up an excuse about being tired. If this guy can make the huge effort of having to arrange help, assistance and travel to the gym to train then what excuse could Gym Ninja possibly have?

As Gym Ninja walked across the gym floor she noticed tattoos. Everywhere.  There were about 6 lower leg tattoos, 5 arm sleeves, 2 back tattoos, plus a variety and mixture of others. Gym Ninja was now wondering if a Tattoo convention was in town and this was why the gym was full? Or maybe it's Tattoo Tuesdays?

As Gym Ninja began to train, plugged into her iPhone's iPod, she nearly fell off the trainer as an incredibly loud, deafening tannoy flared into life..

"Could Jenny please report to reception"

AT this, 32 Jennys in the local area within a 10 mile radius dropped whatever they were doing, looked up and then began to make their way to the Reception......jeeeeez, turn it DOWN!

Cardio done, Gym Ninja began on her leg work, starting with an isolation leg extension to pre-exhaust her quads. As Gym Ninja rested between sets, she became aware of a woman circling her. The woman had been wandering past as Gym Ninja sat down to use the leg extension and was now carefully and slowly circling her, weaving in and out of the other machines.
So here's the thing.
Sometimes, people USE The piece of equipment you were about to use. It happens. The way around it is to either do an ALTERNATIVE as there are hundreds of possibilities, OR do something else and come back to it. Do not pace across the floor as you are wasting your own time, and encouraging people like Gym Ninja to tag on a few extra sets just to be pedantic!

Post workout Gym Ninja had planned on using the Hydropool, but today it was dead. Covered over with the special 'out of action' cover. Grr!  So as Gym Ninja stripped to get a shower she could not help but notice just how many elderly ladies were in the changing rooms.  Oh, and just how many waited until they were in a badly fitting towel before reaching and bending for things. That is the ones who bothered with a towel. TOO much naked bending and reaching ladies. PLEASE get everything you need on eye level before stripping naked.

Also, WHY talcum powder? Gym Ninja assumed talcum powder was for babies and those people with a fetish for rubber clothing? Why do old people need talcum powder????????? Why do they then sprinkle it all over the floor in some sort of flesh toned snow globe effect? Bleurrrh!

Anyhow, the workout was done, and Gym Ninja was left with the rest of the day free in order to plan her future. Awww, can you tell GN had NO way of wrapping up today's blog? T'was like a story eh?????

Until tomorrow

Gym Ninja x

Monday, 12 July 2010

Sunday Slaughter!

No no no no no. NOT Saturday Slaughter Session people. Gym Ninja has been suffering from lack of sleep lately, and as a result very nearly slammed into the back of another car the other day, so taking this as a rather inappropriately named 'wake up call', GN  had decided that to put her body through the usual Saturday gym session would do more harm than good, so instead slept in and went to the gym later on that day.  Cardio and weights as per usual.

However this meant that Gym Ninja was missing a Spin Session from hell, hence the rising of the focussed Ninja that dragged herself out of bed Sunday morning and was determined to get that Spin high.

Admittedly not as tired as the previous day, it takes more than one night to catch up on the sleep deficit Gym Ninja is currently rocking, so she looked around for a pre workout boost. In the cupboard was a sample of 'pre workout formula' that Gym Ninja had  received when at the BodyPower Expo...

'Reflex Pre Workout' powder.
Fruity (ahem) and designed to be mixed with water and quaffed prior to a workout. Mmm, sounded good. Nice silver packet too. So Gym Nina mixed it up and took a swig.....


You know that metallic chemical taste you get with some supplements? This unfortunately was one of those. Gym Ninja persevered and yet after 5 gulps decided that there was no way this was continuing down into her stomach, so instead poured it down the sink.  Gym Ninja is certain she heard the plughole gag........

Gym Ninja arrived at the gym with 15 mins to spare before the hour long Hill Climbing Spin Session. Gathering her stuff together it was only when she reached to get her much needed (and compulsory apparently) Sweat Towel that Gym Ninja realised she'd forgotten hers.


Gym Ninja sweats like a pig in Spin Class. The Sweat Towel can barely cope, so to NOT have one? GN may drown! Also, it adds to the whole annoyance factor knowing that back at home there are 5 gym towels all in the drawer, lying around, not mopping up sweat....Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Once in the Spin Studio Gym Ninja grabbed half a miles worth of paper tissue from the dispenser on the wall. That'd have to do.  Taking up her position on the usual Spin Bike, Gym Ninja chatted to Dangly her Spin Buddy who informed her that the day before, the people who sit on the right hand side of the room had travelled across and sat on the Lefties side!


You miss ONE Spin class and things change!!!!

Wrapping the half mile of tissue around the handlebars, Gym Ninja settled down and prepared to sweat.......

And sweat she did! The tissue was hopeless. Gym Ninja had to use small tufts of it to ensure it lasted the whole hour. By the end of the class the floor space around Gym Ninja was littered!!!!!

A quick ab session later and Gym Ninja headed to the changing rooms to get a shower. Two girls were stood chatting...

"It gets boring on your own doesn't it? You know, coming to the gym and working out" Said one girl.


Listen. If you are actually bored at the gym then you are either NOT training hard enough (as if you are then there is constant change in what you are doing so no time to get bored), OR you have been doing the same old thing for too long and need to get a PT or Gym Instructor to work out something new. The body is designed to find the least path of resistance and will adapt quickly to save energy to what you do. This is why you do not just pick one exercise programme and follow it forever as your body will adapt and progress will grind to a halt (assuming you haven't died of boredom yet)

After the post workout protein shake (choc mint Maximuscle Promax of course) and shower, Gym Ninja headed to the supermarket to stock up on cottage cheese, organic veg and eggs. Obviously other things too but thanks to forgetting the day before (which resulted in a tin of tuna as GN's evening meal) veggies were needed!!!!!!!!

As Gym Ninja shopped she again saw lots of people slumped over their supermarket trolleys. You know the way-whereby they rest their chest and arms all over the handles and then almost body surf through the store? Needless to say their trolleys are usually full of processed nonsense and carb-heavy (which would explain their listlessness).  As Gym Ninja was packing and paying for her shopping, a really REALLY large man in yellow stood behind her in the queue said,

"Come on Skinny! You're giving me a complex here! I'm nursing a beer blister!"

At this, the Yellow man smiled and patted his incredibly large belly.
Yeh, like you needed to point that out.

"It's OK, I'm a Personal Trainer. Hire me!" Retorted Gym Ninja, seeing the panic in the Yellow Man's eyes as he suddenly thought he may be press-ganged into a workout!!!!!!

OMG, Gym Ninja must end this blog post now. Tiredness has just made her accidentally hit the delete button and it's taken GN ages to figure out how to get all this typing back!!!!!! NO WAY would there have been another attempt at a post!

Toodle pip

Gym Ninja x

Friday, 9 July 2010

Losing it!

Aha! You thought Gym Ninja would forget to blog again eh? Nope! Back on track!

Today was an odd day in Ninja land. Gym Ninja, despite attempting to build up her PT empire, kind of figured she needed to be practical and perhaps get some sort of regular income in the interim period, which meant attending interviews for sales reps jobs. *yawn*
Gym Ninja needs to do this so that she can afford the mortgage payments on the very door she needs to keep the wolf away from!

So Tuesday Gym Ninja attended the second (and final) stage of an interview for a sales job selling Negative Pressure Wound Care to hospitals. Yay-staring at rotting ulcerated body parts all day. Joy!  The interview went well & the guy seemed very interested in GN and said she would definitely be hearing from him.....and then Wednesday passed and no call........................and then today, late afternoon, the call came and the man from Ulcerated Body Parts said...NO!

Fanbloodytastic!  Back to Plan D, E and F then to raise funds whilst building the PT Empire!!!!!

So Gym Ninja headed to the gym to work through the annoyance.  The journey was a tad hairy due to the fact that Gym Ninja had managed to lose her sunglasses earlier that day and the sun  was burning a hole in her retinas as she drove.

This is the 2nd pair of sunglasses Gym Ninja has lost this month. This is why her 'ceiling amount' for new  replacement sunglasses is now £4. Gym Ninja cannot afford 2-3 pairs a month!

Now a few days before Gym Ninja had replaced her padlock for a new one. The very same day she'd roadtested the new padlock she had managed to LOSE The key in the final 3 minutes of the gym session. Seriously! This in turn meant GN had to do the walk of shame that involved leading a staff member wielding large bolt cutters, to her locker and having the new 1 day old lock cut off!  So today, Gym Ninja needed a new lock. They sell them at the gym...

Gym Ninja was given a lock and a pink rubber band. Apparently the pink band was to keep her key on. Shame she never had one the other day eh? But then hang on....after accepting the band Gym Ninja then noticed the price for the lock had an additional £1 added to it...

£1 for a bloody pink rubber band!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
What is Gym Ninja? A pigeon?

Stomping off to the changing rooms, Gym  Ninja got dressed and prepared for her intense workout. Heart Rate monitor band went on....but oh.
Stupid Gym Ninja had forgotten to put her Heart Rate Monitor watch in her bag after yesterdays outdoor run.  Time to remove the strap and use the  'train until you fall over or vomit' scale of intensity then.

After caning it on the treadmill mixing up fartlek intervals of speed, hills etc, Gym Ninja slid off the treadmill 55  minutes later (what can GN say? She was stressed & needed the burn!) and went to sponge herself down in the changing rooms & to also grab some resistance bands to add to her planned leg workout.

As Gym Ninja walked across the changing room floor, she nearly fell over a woman walking soooooooo slowly she almost walked backwards. Gym Ninja looked at the womans feet, half expecting her to be on casters she was gliding at such a smooth slow rate. Nope. No wheels. Just flip flops and the woman was gliding towards the door that led to the gym floor. Flip flops? Around weights? REALLY?????  That woman sure looked as if she was in some sort of voodoo trace-she barely registered being alive. How can anyone be that calm? Gym Ninaj watched as Voodoo Woman glided through the door and out into the hustle and bustle of the gym.

Anyhow, back to the resistance band quest..

But Gym Ninja rounded a corner a woman came running towards Gym Ninja...

"HAVE YOU SEEN A CLEANER?" She yelled, terror in her eyes.

Er... no.

The woman ran off.

Gym Ninja was tempted to go see why the woman needed a cleaner with such urgency and yet something told her that maybe it'd not be a wise move?  Maybe a stray poo bomb from a small child had exploded somewhere near the sauna?

Anyhow...resistance band.........that's what GN had come in for.
Er.....where was the resistance band? The purple one? AHHHR! Gym Ninja had LOST the bloody thing. What IS it lately with losing things? Gym Ninja would have to make do with the puny green resistance band and her jump rope. Grabbing her stuff she went to plug herself into her iPhone. Bad Boy music was necessary today in the form of red Hot Chilli Peppers BloodSugarSexMagik!


HOW had Gym Ninja managed to lose her headphones? She'd had them when she was running a moment ago and now poof? Gone?
Back to the treadmill went GN, and then had the embarrassing task of leaning behind the guy who had replaced her on the treadmill, frightening the life out of him as she dipped her hand into the storage area of the treadmill, where luckily she found her lost headphones.

Leg time! again! YAY! Interspersed with bouts of jump rope to really kill off any fear of the future in Gym Ninja's brain. Nothing like absolute death by exercise to help delay nagging fears in the mind you know.

Stretching out, Gym Ninja peeked down at the Hydropool.
It was full  of Buddhas.
Meditation Day at the Hydropool perchance?
Gym Ninja decided that she did not want to 'relax; in a pool of frothing Buddhas. It would feel a bit like being on  a wildlife TV show amongst hippos. Perhaps today was not the best day for it, especially as so far Gym Ninja had managed to lose a job offer, sunglasses, headphones & a resistance band. What if her bikini top were to follow? Also....was that Voodoo Woman sitting in the Hydropool in her voodoo trance??????

Okey dokey, back again tomorrow people. Chop chop!

Gym Ninja x

Wednesday, 7 July 2010

Twice in one Day

Gym Ninja survived The Race For Life! Just in case you all though she hadn't due to the lack of blogging (yet again!). The day began on the train where Gym Ninja got kitted out in her 'team' outfit of fairy wings, tiara and pink tutu. The run was fun..only 5k and barely a run/jog/walk/gab thanks to the continual bottlenecks of women throughout the course. But £300 was raised (yes £200 short of target but it all counts eh?) and Gym Ninja felt virtuous...

SO virtuous in fact that, later that afternoon, she decided to......go to the gym! Yep. Two workouts in a day. This second one was 'sans fairy wings' of course.  Once at the gym another 5k was run, this time on the treadmill and without 4000 women in pink getting under her feet.  Leg work swiftly followed. Plenty of multi-directional lunges in a part of the gym that appeared to have abandoned all hope of ever getting the aircon to work. Cute!  But really, having felt SO virtuous for doing a charity run AND a second workout, all Gym Ninja could focus on was her new 'craze' the Hydropool as her reward. Throughout the leg work, Gym Ninja closely monitored the Hydropool for signs of excessive hairiness, dodgy swingers or other odd looking people. Considering it was the weekend, the Hydropool appeared remarkably quiet.

After the workout ended, abs were done, stretches complete and Promax protein shake quaffed, Gym Ninja changed into her military themed camouflage bikini and walked through the changing area towards the magic door that led to the pool side.  As Gym Ninja passe the toilets, she could hear a mother and child inside a cubicle. As seems to be compulsory with any child under 3 in a gym environment, the child inside the cubicle was wailing loudly....

"Ahhhhhhhhr!!!!' The child screamed

"Ahhhhhr! I don't LIKE poo,  I like Wee! AHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

Oh dear God. Really? Too much information small child thank you very much.

"Look, you have to do it ok?" Answered the mother.

"But I don't want to poo. I want to wee" continued the child at the top of his voice.

"Are you sure?' Questioned the mother nervously? "Don't be doing it in the pool now will you?"

See? This is one of MANY reasons why Gym Ninja will not take up swimming. Sneaky child poo bombs in the water. Yuk!

Anyway, Gym Ninja was by the Magic Door now so through it she went and walked towards the Hydropool. It only had 2 other people in it and yet those people had switched the jets up high, so the pool was like a rabid dog, all foamy and bubbly. At least Gym Ninja HOPED the foaming bubbles were caused by the jets...?  Gym Ninja waded in very carefully, clinging to the side of the pool and made her way to her usual spot, being careful to dodge the tickle jet that often catches the sole of Gym Ninja's foot, launching her up a few meters into the air.....

A man waded towards the Cooker Hood device and cranked it up so that a torrent of water blasted out of it and splattered all over his back....Great! Spray-back! Huge fat droplets of water that were rebounding off the man's back, complete with skin cells were now splatting into Gym Ninja's face. EWWWWWWWWWWWW!  Yet Gym Ninja had nowhere to go! Nowhere! The force of that jet hitting that man meant that if Gym Ninja tried to squeeze past between him and the force of the water, then it was quite possible that she may get blasted with his hair that had been ripped from the follicles of his skin! Gym Ninja recalled the stories she had heard in the past about how hairdressers often get ingrown hairs from customers growing out of their arms etc...Gym Ninja did NOT want to risk having a snowy white man hair growing from her elbow no thank you!!!!!!! Yuk! Again, this was not turning into a relaxing post-workout ritual that was expected.

The moment the cooker hood jet stopped, Gym Ninja exited the pool. Go go go! Time to shower off the other person's skin cells. Heading down the bank of shower cubicles, all the usual ones GN used (the ones that had a smidgen of light thanks to the poor lighting placement above them) were taken. This left a bank of showers all labelled with the following....


Oh great. Gym Ninja was about to be boiled to death. However at least it would kill off the other guy's skin cells no?  Gym Ninja picked a Death Shower Cubicle. Remember everyone, these showers use the old fashioned (aka tight as f*ck) method of controlling water flow. There is one button to the shower that you press repeatedly to get water of one pre-determined temperature. Constant button pressing is necessary if constant water is needed.   Gym Ninja gingerly leaned towards the push just push it once so the water streams out briefly so that she can determine exactly what temperature  'HOTTER THAN NORMAL' is nowadays.

Would it be:

Centre of a bowl of microwaved porridge hot?
Arm stuck down the side of a radiator in winter hot?
Centre of the Sun hot?


With an almighty blast worthy of Ron Jeremy the Porn Star (unheard of in these showers which usually whimper and spit a small trickle of water at you) the one single press that Gym Ninja did unleashed a torrent of continual forceful water....................ICE COLD water!


That was it! Sweaty un-airconditioned gym session + vocal poo/wee child + splattered skin cells + ice cold shower = NOT a relaxing workout!  

With that, Gym Ninja quickly finished up, dried herself down, got dressed and ran out of the gym.

See you all back here tomorrow!!!!

Gym Ninja x

Saturday, 3 July 2010

Begging Ninja

Oooh just a quick post if you all don't mind?

Gym Ninja needs to get a good nights sleep as she is doing the Race For Life 5k tomorrow  (Sunday 4th July)to raise money for Cancer Research.

It's the first sponsored run Gym Ninja has done in years and Gym Ninja is doing it in memory of her beloved grandmother who sadly lost her battle with Cancer of the Oesophagus this time last year. 

Gym Ninja's Nanna was wonderful glamorous woman who never lost her style even in the last few days. In fact Gym Ninja painted her nails for her only a few days before she died (and ensured that the undertakers took the bottle to touch up the chips in her polish so she'd be immaculate the way she wanted to be).

Oooh-that kind of put a downer on the blog post eh? See? Gym Ninja just sits and types-never plans what falls out of her keys. Gym Ninja didn't mean to make anyone sad. However if anyone wants to donate to Cancer Research then please do so at

Thank you xxxxxxx

Friday, 2 July 2010

A mystery solved....

Ah, sorry for the shoddiness in posts yet AGAIN! Damned hot weather makes sitting in front of a computer less appealing than usual.

Anyway.....yay, a gym blog post! FINALLY.

So, Gym Ninja headed to the gym Wednesday, early in the day and all ready to work hard and burn off some nervous energy. Sleep has been lacking these past few weeks due to stresses and worries, (panda eyes are NOT a good look by the way) so maybe a tough workout would help?

Getting out of the car, Gym Ninja managed to snag her gym leggings on the seat adjustment of the car, causing herself to twang backwards as she attempted to get out of the car. Once inside the gym, she swung her gym bag onto the vanity area only to jump back, as a spider hurtled towards her.  The spider leaped off the edge of the vanity area and fell to the ground, where it stood, waiting for it's next victim. It didn't have to wait long....a woman took up position at the vanity area, her naked flip flopped foot right next to the spider. Gym Ninja did consider tipping the girl off, however decided against it and left,  allowing the spider to complete it's mission of climbing up the woman's leg.....

Over by the lockers were two old women.

"I've not seen you for ages Audrey!" Said the first woman.
"Have you been ill?"

Audrey looked sheepish.

"Er, no. I've just only been coming 'now and then'...."

The other woman shot Audrey a dirty look.

"Oh" She said, then walked off.

Gym Ninja stuffed her belongings in the locker, JUST as a member of staff came in, wielding the bolt cutters. Obviously someone had lost their locker key.
That was when Gym Ninja had the idea.....
Locker 266.
Remember it?
The locker that had the pink lock on it? It had been there for over 12 months and had now rusted so was obviously never used.

"Excuse me", Interrupted Gym Ninja.
"This lock has been on here a whole year. You wouldn't mind cutting the lock off would you?"
The girl looked at locker 266.
"Has it really? They are only supposed to stay on over night!"

By now another woman drying her hair had taken an interest.

"Wow, really? A whole year? I wonder what's in it?" She said, peering around the corner to stare at the lock.

The staff member stopped, looked at Gym Ninja and then got a bit afraid.
"is it really an abandoned lock?"

Er, like Gym Ninja just wants other peoples gym kit for herself!

But then curiosity got the better or the girl.

"Maybe it's a dead body in there?" She mused as she walked towards it.

"Or a murder weapon like a knife!" Said the other woman, who had abandoned drying her hair and was now waiting to see the contents too.

This was IT! FINALLY! Finally Gym Ninja would see what was inside the goddam locker!

The bolt cutters were in place, the lock was snapped and the door opened, and inside.......

Inside was.......


A WHOLE year of wanting to know, and there wasn't even anything IN there?


So, into the gym. Intense heat yet onwards and upwards, quite literally with 20 minutes of hill sprints. 1 minute running up a 12% incline and 1 minute recovery walk, and so on until death, OR the 20 minutes are up. Gym Ninja chose the latter luckily.

Getting off the treadmill, Gym Ninja walked (staggered!) past the adductor machine...and caught her GODDAM leggings on the handle of it, which again caused her to twang backwards. What WAS it with today?

Making her way to the free weights, Gym Ninja grabbed some fairly light dumbbells and started clock squats combining them with straight arm pulldowns so that her entire body was worked at the same time. Quite how GN didn't fall over is anyones guess. Admittedly it all got a tad wobbly with the one legged dumbbell deadlifts as by this point Gym Ninja's legs were very much fried but when you're this far in to a deadly leg day then you may as well carry on until your walk resembles Bambi.. and so it continued.....Leg Press, hamstring curl, leg extension  that squeaked like a violated donkey, calf raises (ignoring the man on the next machine doing Policeman ello ello ello knee bends on his!).......

FINALLY the workout finished. Stretches have never felt so good, and Gym Ninja could now recover with her Promax protein shake  albeit feeling a bit sad now she knew the secret of Locker 266.......

Gym Ninja x