Saturday Slaughter

Ahh yep, blogging the same day it actually happened. Wow!

Today is Saturday and today was Saturday Slaughter Session time. Now Gym Ninja had yet another late night due to nothing other than general 'faffing' so had to drag herself out of bed today. She was also hoping that her mahooosive order from Maximuscle would arrive seeing as it hadn't done yesterday? By mahoosive Gym Ninja means 3 tubs of Promax (some with the special offer of 20% extra free...check out THIS LINK if you are interested in that as it is also on selected flavours of Promax, Promax Extreme & Promax Diet), a box of Promax Crisp bars which are fab if you want a guilt-free sweet snack yet have some protein too (good with a nice hot cuppa by the way!) and a tub of Promax Diet.  They are doing some good offers at the moment so go check out the links and see what else they have offers on as they do tend to change all the time?

No sign.

Pah.

But a Slaughter Session waits for no Ninja, so out of the house galloped GN, with barely enough time to neck a Diet Emerge Energy Drink (still an absolute bargain at 25p per can of chemical fizziness ) before arriving at the gym. It was quieter than usual. Maybe down to the fact that the schools have now broken up and all the parents are out entertaining their bored children?

As there was a Y in the day, this meant NO air con was on at the gym. Maybe those huge air con panels on the wall are merely 'Representative Art Installations'?  Anyhow, Gym Ninja found herself warming up on a treadmill  next to Clippy who was currently doing her standard 10% incline, leaning back holding on type walk. A girl walked past, a huge fake flower the size of a side-plate clipped onto her head. Remarkable. Lycra and clip-in hair ornaments. Uhh, the warm up was hard work. Last week's boundless energy seems a distant memory. But up the stairs to the Spin Studio climbed Gym Ninja, and took up her place on her 'usual' bike.

Dangly immediately scolded Gym Ninja.

"Where were you AGAIN last week? You said you'd come in Sunday! I looked a right muppet as I put me towel on yer spin bike to save it for you and I had to move it to let someone else sit there!"

Dangly had pain and hurt in his eyes.....

"Yeh sorry about that but I slept in." Confessed Gym Ninja. "Er, I'm not going to be here tomorrow either as I've a client to train".

Dangly looked as if he were about to explode.

"OK so that will be THREE Sunday Spin Sessions in a row you'll have missed. That's IT! You're getting a warning!"

At this, he waggled his finger. Gym Ninja gave him a 'look'.

The class began, and it was then immediately apparent that Gym Ninja's usual bike had been wrecked when she was not here last time. She had a floppy pedal!!!!! Well, OK so the pedal strap didn't work. Every time it was tightened, it'd just then slowly loosen until Gym Ninja's left foot was left flailing around like it was made of rubber. After 10 minutes Gym Ninja abandoned the bike and moved to a fresh one.  

The room was BOILING hot! The air con wasn't even blowing warm like it usually does. It wasn't blowing at all and even the Instructor who sits on a bike that has arctic air con streams blowing over her at all times was now sweating like a pig too. Great. Feeling tired and now the unbearable 'spin in a sauna environment' for the next hour. Joy! But what can Gym Ninja do when she's shut in a baking hot sauna style room but sweat like a pig and soldier on?

At the back of Gym Ninja's mind (and head) was the thought 'what about my hair?'

No, this was not Gym Ninja being vain. No. Last night Gym Ninja was bored so had whacked on a brown/black colour hair dye on, and as any girl knows, that first rinse is never quite enough to

a) Remove all of the dye
b) Remove that post-hair dye smell.

So what was the worry about the hair? Well anyone who has seen Gym Ninja post-spin will notice it appears she has dunked her head under water for an hour. So....what if the left-over hair dye that never quite comes off after that first wash decides that NOW is the time to start streaking it's way down Gym Ninja's face and neck? Great. Would Gym Ninja emerge from Spin as the missing member of Kiss? GN could certainly smell the hair dye....the heat and the sweat was encouraging it to run free...

EVENTUALLY (!) the hour was up and the cool down commenced. By this point Gym Ninja's sweat towel was sodden and had no absorbency left. Then the lights went up and......

PHEW!

Kiss did NOT have a new member. Admittedly Gym Ninja again appeared to look post-swim, however there were no black streaks snaking their way across the delts.

With that, Gym Ninja squelched out of the spin studio, nipped to the changing area to dry off and then finished up with some weights work and abs.  Gym Ninja really wanted to hit the Hydropool today too as it's been way too long since her last venture into it, however she decided that it was tempting fate and it would be too hard to explain away a 'BP Oil Spill' type slick of black across the pool if her hair dye decided to finally run.

It is now a fair few hours later and still no sign of the Maximuscle Delivery. Pah!
Ah well, Gym Ninja possibly still has a few scrapings of powder at the bottom of her near-empty tub of Choc Chip protein...fingers crossed it arrives soon......

Toodle pip

Gym Ninja x

iNinja

Uhhr!
Gym Ninja is seriously out of the habit of a daily blog eh? Probably as she is still sorting out her new regular 'routine'.

So you can catch up, allow Gym Ninja to regale you with some past happenings since we last talked about her!

Gym Ninja has a dodgy iPhone. The 3GS is playing up something chronic and moreso since the new software update, to the point that the battery would rain by 50% within a couple of hours. Eeek! Do not drain Gym Ninja's 'world'. GN cannot cope without the iPhone, so with this is mind she booked in to the Genius Bar at Apple. Surely a real live genius would help?

Friday dawned and Gym Ninja walked into her local Apple store, trying to look directly ahead and not be drawn to the iPads to her left. Gym Ninja has a Mac, a MacBook, and an iPhone so obviously an iPad which is near identical yet sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo different is essential for her life. *ahem*

Once seated at the Genius Bar, she was met by a Skateboarder who happened to be a 'Genius'. Who knew? Looked like a Skateboarder to Gym Ninja!    Gym Ninja then explained the problem of the ever draining battery whilst Skaterboy listened on. He then took Gym Ninja's beloved iPhone and rammed a couple of probes into it, like something off the Sci Fi 'Alien Experiments With Probes' genre...

"Water Damage!" Announced Skaterboy.

"The probes have turned pink which is a sign that water has gotten into the iPhone and is causing it to short circuit. I'm afraid water damage isn't covered by the warrantee"

Gym Ninja did a big 'O' shape with her mouth. WATER damage? Gym Ninja hates water. How can this have happened........and then......ahhhh.

"Ahh, It's SWEAT damage, not water damage." Confessed Gym Ninja.

"I sweat all over my iPhone when I'm training at the gym you see as I stash the iPhone down my top."

*cue cute innocent smile*

Never has Gym Ninja ever seen anyone want to drop an iPhone as fast as Skaterboy did. He managed to stop himself, yet adjusted his grip on it so only the tips of two fingers were now holding it.

"Er, I'll go and speak with the Manager. Like I say, it's not normally covered by the warrantee but I will see what he says".

And with that, Skaterboy and Ninjaphone departed (with Skaterboy still barely touching the iPhone).

5 minutes later Skaterboy returned.

"We'll replace it just this once. We'll have to order a new 3GS in & will ring you when it's ready to switch".

Skaterboy handed back the sweat damaged iPhone to Gym Ninja as she beamed at him.  Perhaps stashing a few bikini pictures of herself (taken to help her decide on which bikini to purchase btw) on her iPhone pays dividends when a Store Manager is deciding whether to help out a customer or not? Top Tip ladies!!!!

Saturday dawned... (yes Ok so GN has skipped regaling you with a few workouts but she's forgotten what happened ok?)...Saturday SLAUGHTER Session time!!!!!!

As Gym Ninja bounced through the turnstile she managed to wedge herself inbetween the prongs. Ooops! Too much Diet Emerge Energy Drink making her a tad too fast for the turnstile operation. Also made her look like a spaz....

For once in MONTHS Gym Ninja had time for a 10 minute run prior to spin. Just like the 'old days'. Excellent. If Gym Ninja recalled, the run prior to Spin really helped with the energy levels believe it or not?

The run was 'effortless'. Woohoo! Must be the combination of Diet Emerge and the fact that Gym Ninja is once again sleeping OK.  Next stop, the Spin Studio. Gym Ninja bounded into the room and started to set up her bike, chatting to Dangly her 'bike neighbour' as she did so...

'What's all of that on your neck? That water?" Asked Dangly.

"It's sweat! I just did a quick run" Replied Gym Ninja.

Dangly eyed her nervously, before muttering something about Gym Ninja being a tad too bouncy today.

Chatting about regular attendees, Gym Ninja ended up realising that one ofthe regulars to Spin hadn't been for ages.

"Bike Man hasn't been for ages has he?" Said Gym Ninja to Dangly.

Dangly stared at Gym Ninja.

"Are you joking? He was sat in front of you LAST WEEK!"

WHAT?
REALLY?

Looks like Gym Ninja isn't observant.

"Are you sure?" Asked Gym Ninja as she crossed the room towards the door to throw away her empty can of energy drink.
"The guy with the glasses who is obviously a cyclist? HIM?"

The words were barely out of Gym Ninja's mouth when the very man walked in through the doors in a high viz yellow cycling top.

Dangly looked at the man, looked at Gym Ninja and threw her a 'See-told you!' look across the room. What WHERE The chances?

Bang on 10am the class began, and Gym Ninja pedalled away. Today however Gym Ninja didn't find it as tough. Yes, Gym Ninja broke a sweat, but not to the 'been for a swim or head stuck in a bucket of water' level l she normally sports after the hour is over. Remarkable what sleep and a warm up run can do. According to the Polar Heart Rate monitor the workout was pretty much as intense as it usually was too.  Great stuff.

After Spin was Lower Body work. and Gym Ninja planned on super-setting her legs to a pulp!   High volume and medium weights...

Barbell Squats with Straight legged Deadlifts
Sumo Squats with barbell cleans
Bulgarian Split Squats with one legged dumbbell deadlifts
Then, just to be on the safe side (it does the legs good to be beasted like this once every month), Gym Ninja super-setted frontal plane lunges with Romanian deadlifts.

OOOOOH! Job well done. Yet STILL Gym Ninja had some bounce in her. Let this be a lesson to us all....SLEEP is the best energizer ever. Not only that, it helps regulate appetite as it controls ghrelin levels (that increase hunger levels & fat mass), reduces cortisol & promotes rest and recovery in the body. That, plus a can of Diet Emerge and you're Tigger for the day! ;-)

Until next time (whenever that may be)

Gym Ninja x

Belated Saturday Slaughter!

AHHHR!

Sorry.

Sorry sorry sorry for the lack of blogging.

Now...let us dash headlong into a new post to make up for it eh?

Saturday!
Yep, another Slaughter Session. Wooohooo! Just what we love eh?
The night before Gym Ninja had packed up an overnight case (aka a 'we are going away for a week sized suitcase') ready for a quick exit that morning. A night out Saturday in a different city was planned and Gym Ninja always runs late anyway so being prepared meant that running late wouldn't happen...theoretically anyway!
So, with bags aplenty stuffed into the Mini Cooper, off GN sped to the gym.

Gym Ninja had spent the past day carb loading to ensure she had the energy for a tough session. Just in case (ahem) two mini energy drinks were quaffed too. Perhaps not the brightest of ideas as within 10 minutes GN had eyes like saucers!

No time for a warm up elsewhere, Gym Nina strode straight into the Spin Studio.

"You're not gonna like this..." Said Dangly in a sing song voice, a smirk on his face.

Gym Ninja stopped dead.

No.
NONONONONONONONONO!

"She's not in is she?" Said Gym Ninja through gritted teeth.

"Nope!" He smirked.
"And just you wait and see who IS taking the class.."

Hmm, Gym Ninja was NOT amused. She was wired off two energy shots and now this? Pah!

Taking up residency on her usual Spin Bike, Gym Ninja started to warm up, a sulky look on her face, which, matched with the wired eyes made her look like a teenage Meerkat.

BAM!

The door opened and in strode......er.......what??????

Dangly looked at Gym Ninja and smirked.
STOP the smirking Dangly!

So...today's stand in Spin Instructor was a peroxide blonde version of Jo Brand.
Yep.
In a crop top.

Let us just say it was as well that Gym Ninja already had saucer Meerkat eyes...

So, with the music, on Jo Brand on her bike and Gym Ninja cursing under her breath, the hour long session began...

Have you ever done a spin class to the sounds of techno soft rock?
No?
Really?

Well, what a treat you have in store if you ever do get the chance. It is quite frankly bizarre! It really doesn't work, and yet because you are so incredulous about the whole thing, it makes for a very interesting mix.

The play list contained, among many, soft rock anthems by Roxette, Bon Jovi...oh and what soft rock playlist is complete without
"POISONNNNNNNNNNNNNN, You're Poison running through my veins................." to cycle along to?

Throughout the class about 7 people hopped off their bikes and galloped out of the room to 'refill at the water fountain'. Yeh right! NOBODY ever leaves the room for water. Gym Ninja had a feeling they did so to

1. Laugh!
2. Get a grip of reality and try and make sense of having heard techno soft rock.

Saying that, it was a cracking class! A real tough workout and you know what? Gym Ninja would happily do her class again. Gym Ninja has a soft spot for soft rock donchaknow, and that class certainly got her heart rate up.

Sweating profusely yet in a glamorous way, Gym Ninja left the Spin Studio and headed to the ladies only section of the gym. As GN walked through the door, she ducked!
PHEW!
Ladies!
DO NOT stand right by a doorway and perform lateral dumbbell raises! Gym Ninja's head was nearly panned in my a ponsy 1kg pink dumbbell!

A tough and relentless leg session ensued. Gym Ninja planned on wearing a short dress out on the own that night so nothing was allowed to have  even a smidgen of wobble about it! By the time the session was complete, you could bounce coins off Gym Ninja's lower body and expect one to ping back at you!
A job well done!

Quaffing her post workout Maximuscle shake Gym Ninja staggered to the showers.

Uhh!
Stupid nasty showers.

Seriously, just when you think that one square of light that covers just one of the 16 cubicles, leaving the rest in shadowy darkness wasn't bad enough.

Nor the fact that they are 'pump action' showers...pump the button and get 6 seconds of drizzly water as a reward before it shuts off...isn't bad enough.

Oh and let us not forget that the shower cubicles are crafted from pink toilet doors..a if that isn't bad enough...

Today......
*sigh*
Today, the showers smelled of urine.

Well thank you VERY much you dirty cow whoever you are!
Saying that, maybe it was a new person confused by the toilety exterior of the shower cubicles....?

Anyhow, none of this is nice Ninja chat now is it?

Time Gym Ninja logged off! She is being distracted by emails from Cactus K and at this rate it'll be a week Tuesday before this gets posted!

Glad Ninja is back eh?
Good people!!!!!!

Gym Ninja x

Swim Spin! Blog post (Part 2)

The reason this is labelled Part Two (as technically it isn't part 2 of anything), is so you notice the 'Part 1' which was posted yesterday a few hours after my original post. Gym Ninja doesn't want anyone to miss it as it's about her participation in Race For Life (so go check it out if you missed it).

Ok, so GN should really be writing up her coursework but she has made a start on some so will take a break now to type this blog up.  

This morning Gym Ninja headed out to the gym for her usual Saturday Slaughter Session. MUCH needed due to the stress if you recall? However, despite enjoying the Spin Classes over the past few weeks as the guy was really ernest and likable, Gym Ninja knew she wouldn't get too hard a workout so instead decided to fatigue herself somewhat by doing her weights session first. Excellent fun! Upper body today. 

So off she went, warmed up with some Dynamic movement-specific stretches and then made a start. The shoulder wasn't quite as good today as it has been, so GN lightened the weights when it came to the Lying Lateral Raises so as not to aggravate the injury. Hmm, t'was a tad hot at the gym as the air con didn't seem to be working, so as she walked over to the water fountain, Gym Ninja nearly crashed into a woman who appeared to be attempting the World record Attempt at super-slow walking. At one point she was moving SO slowly across the gym floor that Gym Ninja thought she was stood still. These are the people who you get stuck behind when rushing somewhere on your lunch break!

Gym Ninja finished her upper body session just in time to go and grab her Diet Emerge Energy Drink (33p from Asda & tastes MUCH better than Diet Red Bull!)  and gel bike seat cover, then headed to the Spin Studio...

OMG..to Gym Ninja's delight (then HORROR as she realised she'd just fatigued herself with her workout session) it wasn't Spin Guy! It was the girl from a few weeks back who cycles you into the ground and then stomps on your head. EXCELLENT! This is fantastic as Gym Ninja needs a workout that pushes her incredibly hard and manages to push her past what she thought she could do. This woman is excellent at that!  Super Spin (as we shall now call her) came over to chat.

"Where's the other Guy?" Asked Gym Ninja

"Ahh, he was sacked as he was a bit 'intense'" said Super Spin, nodding. 

"Oh. he was Ok I thought although he did worry that I never seemed to be able to work up a sweat in his class.." Said Gym Ninja..

So..they began the class...Super Spin has a rule that if she talks she expects an answer and if no one replies then the workload doubles.  Sometimes answering didn't seem to be enough to stop the workload doubling and you know you've had a good warm up when you half die!!!!! 

Mid way through the session and Gym Ninja was sweating like a pig! Seriously sweating as in 'water rolling off the hair' that now hung in drenched rats tails across GN's head! Nice! Super Spin got off her bike to stomp around and motivate..she came over to Gym Ninja who must have soaked her as she turned her head to look..

"Not sweating are we?" cackled Super Spin, referencing the chat about the Spin Guy as she cranked up Gym Ninja's bike resistance another level.

AHHHHR! But who can hate someone who is that evil? Love it love it love it! (Well, assuming Gym Ninja had any spare energy at that point to love anything...) 

The class FLEW by! If this gym manages to lose this Spin teacher the they are crazy! She'll get that class heaving! Yeh she may kill a few in the process, but hell, it's worth the risk for the calorie burn!

Gym Ninja dragged herself out of the class...if it wasn't for the fact she was in gym gear you'd be mistaken for thinking she'd stepped out of the pool.  On the way out she bumped into an old regular 'Dangly Cross Man'.  You remember him don't you?

They started chatting about how good the spin session had been and Dangly asked Gym Ninja how the PT was going and had she started her business yet? How cute of him to remember? Gym Ninja explained that she wasn't finished until April and how tough it was trying to study and juggle full time work..and before she knew it she'd managed to press-gang the poor guy into being a client!

"Mates Rates Mind!" said Dangly a tad nervously as he edged away nervously...

Gym Ninja laughed, turned away and then .......  EEEEEEEK!

OMG! Whaaaaat?

Gym Ninja could NOT believe her eyes! What WAS that guy doing?  

All GN could see was a muscled guy standing still, doing a rapid shaking movement about hip level...you know the kind of movement Gym Ninja means? The kind of movement some guy should NOT be doing anywhere other than in the privacy of his own house in front of his computer no doubt!!!!!

PHEW!

A machine had been blocking Gym Ninja's view...the guy had a SHAKER bottle and was mixing up his protein shake. 

Seriously though guys-think about how you do that! 

Okey dokey. Gym Ninja needs to finish writing the programme for Mesocycle 1 and will research some ab work for her Mesocycle 2 (damned coursework) and then the rest of the night (!) is her own...

Toodle Pip

Gym Ninja xx