Back with Gym Ninja to follow up the next stage of the Christmas supermarket shopping nightmare eh? Good. Pleased to see you again....so where were we? Yep-moving on to a new part of the supermarket .......
You soon find yourself heading down the tinned meat aisle. It's a rarity for you to be in this section, what with you being into healthy eating and all, so you start to feel a bit 'out of your depth'. It all seems strange and new down this aisle. The people here are distinctly larger and have trolleys piled high with processed foods, 3 or 4 bottles of frying oil, bottles and bottles of full strength soft drinks plus 5 tins of Quality Street. Yet now...now you too are here. Spam Aisle! Uh oh. You stare at the strange artifacts. Tinned Spam. Tinned processed meats contain Sodium Nitrate...in small doses it is used to prevent growth of bacteria, yet in high doses, it can be toxic for humans. In fact, if the sodium nitrate in meats is subjected to high temperatures this forms carcinogenic nitrosamines...oh, and these are NOT good. Quick. Get OUT of Spam Aisle! For God's sake, save yourself! GET OUT!!!!!!!!
You turn a corner, crashing into another trolley, then head to the condiments section. You're safer here! You browse for quality oils for cooking, spray oil for keeping calories down, plus herbs and spices that you need for all of your fancy cooking over Christmas. Before you know it, you're heading to the tinfoil section. BIG tinfoil roll. HUGE. That's what you need. You have to be able to wrap the outside of your house in foil should you need to. You pick up a roll of foil that is wider than your door frames at home. Yep. That'll do it. Chuck in some freezer bags plus greaseproof paper and you're done here.
But now what happens? You've been relatively conservative so far, sticking mostly to the healthy list with a few treats that you are recalling through sheer memory power thanks to having left it in the car. But you get the creeping feeling that this is not enough. You are surrounded by heaving trolleys of food. Piled high to a peak. You can see boxes of Roses Chocolates peeping out at jaunty angles. Miniature Heros taunt you. Hmm, maybe you need some of those as 'emergency gifts; just in case someone drops in with a present that's unexpected? Damn those Miniature Heros. Full sized heros you can cope with, but when miniaturized you then run the risk of being able to 'justify' eating one or five. STOP IT! Clear your head of the thought right this instant. But no..you can't...they are everywhere you look, like an obligatory part of the supermarket trolley. Plus, you like feeling a bit like a giant when eating the teeny chocolates..... 'Oooh, look at the teeny Mars Bar in my hand. I am a giant and I can eat it with one bite!' SO WHAT? Gym Ninja, back in her Fat Kid Days, used to be able to eat a proper sized Mars Bar in one bite! This is how she became Fat Ninja! But no, you do not listen to Gym Ninja's warning. You head directly for the Chocolate and Confectionary Aisle like a heat seeking missile. You are chanting in your head 'It's just because it's Christmas, it's just because it's Christmas' in an attempt to justify why you suddenly need chocolates in your trolley.
You stop.
Suddenly.
You are here. In Paradise.
You stand in front of shelves of varying Selection Boxes, sweets, tins of chocolates, boxes of chocolates and other variations on the theme. You eyeball the Terrys Chocolate Oranges. Mmmm, you never eat Terry's Chocolate Orange unless it is Christmas, therefore you justify that it is actually a tradition rather than being naughty. In goes 3 of them. But wait. You were here purely for emergency gift purposes remember? You scoop up 2 boxes of Miniature Heros. You look at the Roses. Hmm, best get two of those as well, as not everyone likes Miniature Heros. AHHHR, Celebrations! You need those too. *Clunk*. Your trolley has oodles of boxes of chocolates in it now. AHHR! Quality Street! Now THAT is a tradition. Best get the humungous tin as you can reuse that (you never do, but you can, so that's why you buy the bigger tin ok?). Oh wait. What happens if someone visits who does not eat chocolates? Well you'd be a bad host if you didn't lob in a tub or three of Haribo Tangfastics now wouldn't you? You turn round quickly, only to spot a family with a convoy of trolleys one after the other piled high. One trolley is just not enough for this time of year. PRINGLES!!!!!!!! You spot the Pringles in their trolleys! I'm sure they were on the list no? Just as one of the treats? Ahem.
*Zoom*
Like a heat-seeking missile you are heading to the Crisps Section. The 'healthy eating with a few treats' list is a distant memory. CRISPS! You'd be better off eating chips you know. But you know that don't you, yet here you are, Stopping to knock a few tubes of Pringles into your trolley, you grab some Twiglets (as Christmassy as Santa himself surely, ahem). You also need one or two of those pre-packed party snacks of various shaped Twiglet-themed crispy thingies. LOADED with salt and saturated fats but you don't care anymore. Hell, they don't even taste nice, but you have them on the table when people come round for drinks. It's 'expected'. You are in a Supermarket Frenzy! Your eyes are glazed as you bump trolleys with other shoppers reaching for Cheesy Wotsits. COCKTAIL SAUSAGES AND MINI SAUSAGE ROLLS! OMG you so should have gone to Iceland for those!!!!!!!!!! Quick! The freezer cabinets!!!!!!!!!!!!!
..........OK...and breathe. That is more than enough for one day. You can see how this trip is hurtling into an 'off the rails' moment. More tomorrow....
Gym Ninja xx
Friday, 18 December 2009
Beat the Queues. Supermarket chaos Part 1.
Do you know how to beat the Christmas queues?
Head to the gym!
The ONLY place you will not have to queue this week. The gym is desolate in the run up to Christmas. An odd situation that always surprises Gym Ninja. After all, it is the party season, major indulgences are ahead, party dresses need to be squeezed into and yet, the gym is empty? Don't get her wrong. Gym Ninja loves a quiet gym for purely selfish reasons. It meant that her workouts this week have not taken as much time as usual due to the availability of equipment. No having to change what was planned because someone is using the dumbbells...
Hmmm, I guess the last minute planning, food shopping, gift buying and partying take up too much time in the busy lives of everyone. There is never enough time! It is also amazing to Gym Ninja about how much time is spent in the supermarket on the run up to Christmas. Think about it. The supermarkets are closed two whole days. Two days. Not a week. Not a month. Two days. Have a look in your cupboards and freezer now. You have more than enough in there to keep you going. You're not going to keel over and die if you don't stock up, yet every year we all find ourselves queueing down the aisles for hours to buy an overloaded trolleys worth of stuff....allow Gym Ninja to talk you through a typical Christmas supermarket shop and see if it rings any bells....??
You: "I'm not going to overdo it like last year. I'm going to keep things simple and not go crazy. I threw out most of the stuff I bought last Christmas anyway, it was such a waste! Plus, I need to stay on my healthy eating plan anyway. Yes, that's it! Just the basics with maybe a couple of treats. Yep. Oh and I'll not go at the busy times like last year. No, I'll head to the supermarket first thing/last thing to avoid the rush (delete as appropriate)."
You pack your Bag for Life x 18 (well, you usually forget to pack them and end up having to buy a new one at the till so you have a bit of a backlog now!) in the boot of the car, and set out super early/super late to the local supermarket to beat the queues, with your basic list plus a few treats on the car seat next to you
You pull into the car park......CHAOS! Everyone and his dog has decided to avoid the busy times and the car park is rammed! People are throwing themselves in front of your car with a supermarket trolley as a battering ram whilst you search for a parking space. You see one! FANTASTIC! You go to pull in and.....ahhhhr SMALL car! Small cars should not be allowed to park at Christmas with their evil 'no this space is empty' trick that they do. You are now trapped between a conga line of shoppers and a pensioner reversing into a parking space 'to save time'. How reversing into a space saves time Gym Ninja does not know. You have to reverse either in or out at some point so it defeats the object surely? You carry on...there are no spaces and you are being wafted by a 'Car Park Attendant' in a high viz yellow jacket towards that far part of the car park you've only ever seen from a distance. You may need a trail of breadcrumbs to find your way back to the car it is that far away from the store. Surely no one has ever been in this part of the car park but for skateboarding teenagers with bottles of cider? That's a thought-maybe some cider seeing as it's Christmas....?
You drag the 18 Bags For Life out of the car and head towards the speck in the distance that is the supermarket. You can already see there is a shortage of trolleys so grab the nearest abandoned one on route. You feel smug that you have a trolley. Within 5 minutes you feel cursed you have a trolley with a wheel-defect...
Once in store you are overwhelmed by a blast of heat, then hit by 4 different trolleys from different directions. No room for dithering in the supermarket today! You pass the display of Poinsettias. Hmm, do you want one? It IS seasonal after all no? They are only £1.99. You pick up a Poinsettia and put it in your trolley. 4 leaves fall off immediately. You head towards the fruit & veg. Good. Healthy eating remember?
In the Fruit & Veg section you brace yourself and reach for your shopping list. Basics plus a few treats remember? The list....the list...hmmm....where is the list? Crap! The list is still on the seat of the car. AHHHR! OK, so no big deal. You can remember what was on the list no? You head towards the broccoli. You have to fight a burly pensioner and a bad tempered mum of 3 for a few heads of broccoli that are more stalk and less head. SPROUTS! You hate sprouts but they are Christmassy so you need them. You have to boil them into a sludgy lump that smells of farts or it is not a proper Christmas. You then move on to the carrots where everyone is fighting for the biggest carrots they can find. Ladies! Will you NEVER learn that bigger is not always better? Talking of such things, you soon find yourself heading over to the nuts! Some things never change eh? This was on your list surely? After all, you need nuts at Christmas to fill up the teeny tiny small spaces left in your stomach after the main meal...you cannot possibly leave any gaps in your stomach on Christmas day!
WIth nuts and various selections of fruit and veg placed into the trolley, you accidentally bang into a few pallets of potatoes and head towards the main part of the supermarket. You run the gauntlet of husbands wearily slumped over the trolley as their wife piles it high. You narrowly avoid children running amok through the store whilst their parents ignore them. Far worse is when the child is put in charge of the trolley to keep them interested. Yeh, well it MAY keep them interested but it just lost you your big toe as the child has yet to learn the dimensions and controls of their trolley. Grr. You decide to be 'efficient' and park your trolley at the bottom of each aisle as you dash up and down them to gather up what you need. Basics, basics, basics.....Ok so that's tinned tomatoes and tomato puree for adding to stuff, flour for baking, a low fat spray to keep the calories low as you cook. You feel smug at this! See, your healthy eating is SO on track this year! You head towards the chiller section......
It's cold! You do an audible "brrrr" you only ever do in supermarket chiller sections as you clang your trolley against 5 others who are congregated around the turkeys. The turkey area looks like a whole rack of mooning bottoms, and you are now part of the vast crowd staring back at them. Cue much prodding of turkeys, then feeling slightly pervy at prodding the turkeys as it feels a bit funny, then not actually knowing why you are prodding them, but what you DO know is that you wanted that one that the lady in the red coat has just picked up. Grrrr! Stressed! You settle for a huge turkey the size of next door's dog, and heave it into the trolley. You notice that the turkey also has goosebumps. Or should that be turkeybumps? Anyhow, this pondering is not helping so you start to maneuver the trolley towards the sausages. It's one big innuendo this shopping trip so far! You need the sausages for many many reasons. Mostly because it just wouldn't be Christmas without rolls of reconstituted nostrils, testicles, ears and nipples (aka sausages-can you tell Gym Ninja is not a fan??) to munch on. This supermarket shop is now in Frankie Howard territory! CHEESE!!! Surely you added cheese on your list? You remember you had added one....but look! Look at the pretty cheeses. Thousands of them. All different colours, with fancy names, italic lettered labels, oh and the ones in the cute boxes. They look fun! Oooh, and the one that smells of rotting feet. Ah, now you probably meant to add that to the list no? Plus you need the round one. Hmm, best to add 7 or 8 cheeses to the trolley 'just in case'.......*clunk* goes the tonne of cheese that hits the bottom of the trolley, squashing the broccoli as it falls.
Sound familiar so far......? Yep. Thought so.....! Well, it is getting a tad long this blog so Gym Ninja has chopped it up for easy bite sized (low cal of course) blog chunks, so be sure to report back tomorrow for your next stage of the Great Christmas Supermarket Shop.......tomorrow we leave the chiller section for pastures new...!
Gym Ninja x
It's cold! You do an audible "brrrr" you only ever do in supermarket chiller sections as you clang your trolley against 5 others who are congregated around the turkeys. The turkey area looks like a whole rack of mooning bottoms, and you are now part of the vast crowd staring back at them. Cue much prodding of turkeys, then feeling slightly pervy at prodding the turkeys as it feels a bit funny, then not actually knowing why you are prodding them, but what you DO know is that you wanted that one that the lady in the red coat has just picked up. Grrrr! Stressed! You settle for a huge turkey the size of next door's dog, and heave it into the trolley. You notice that the turkey also has goosebumps. Or should that be turkeybumps? Anyhow, this pondering is not helping so you start to maneuver the trolley towards the sausages. It's one big innuendo this shopping trip so far! You need the sausages for many many reasons. Mostly because it just wouldn't be Christmas without rolls of reconstituted nostrils, testicles, ears and nipples (aka sausages-can you tell Gym Ninja is not a fan??) to munch on. This supermarket shop is now in Frankie Howard territory! CHEESE!!! Surely you added cheese on your list? You remember you had added one....but look! Look at the pretty cheeses. Thousands of them. All different colours, with fancy names, italic lettered labels, oh and the ones in the cute boxes. They look fun! Oooh, and the one that smells of rotting feet. Ah, now you probably meant to add that to the list no? Plus you need the round one. Hmm, best to add 7 or 8 cheeses to the trolley 'just in case'.......*clunk* goes the tonne of cheese that hits the bottom of the trolley, squashing the broccoli as it falls.
Sound familiar so far......? Yep. Thought so.....! Well, it is getting a tad long this blog so Gym Ninja has chopped it up for easy bite sized (low cal of course) blog chunks, so be sure to report back tomorrow for your next stage of the Great Christmas Supermarket Shop.......tomorrow we leave the chiller section for pastures new...!
Gym Ninja x
Tuesday, 15 December 2009
Food On The Go!
Gym Ninja has been shopping. Food on the go. A bit of a trial of new products, as well as to stock up on her tried & trusty chunky PowerBar Protein Bars.
It's terribly impressive when somewhere mainstream like Tesco start stocking sports and nutrition supplements. Tesco was where Gym Ninja first discovered the delectable craving-supressing Promax Crisp bars. 97p each. Bargain when it comes to trying them out. Of course, now she is addicted she no longer gets them from Tesco (unless she ran out and is awaiting delivery). No-it's cheaper to order direct. Bulk buy, especially when they are on offer direct from Maximuscle, which is most of the time. Think the current Promax Crisp-related offer with them is that you get a box of 12 free with a tub of Promax Extreme? So what else does Gym Ninja pick up when she is in Tesco?
PowerBar Protein Plus Bars. Yum! Super chunky and chocolately dense protein bars that are perfect to stash in the glovebox or handbag. She gets Vanilla-Coconut flavour and Chocolate flavour, and they are 30% protein. Makes you rather thirsty afterwards though....maybe they are made of those little silicone sachets you find in boxes to dry stuff out?????? OK, so maybe not! £1.66 each in Tesco and about 10p more in Holland & Barretts. They say to have them post-workout, but to be fair, you're better off sticking to a protein shake you can mix up and drink down. These bars Gym Ninja eats when she needs filling up a bit! Usually when stuck in traffic on the motorway.
Whilst at Tesco, Gym Ninja also noticed a new bar. Smaller but hell, a new flavour experience, so let's take the risk and pick up one of each flavour. Meet the Clif Bar. One in Crunchy Nut Peanut and one in Chocolate Chip. Organic too! Gym Ninja was so keen to trial these for your reference, she accidentally ate both! One after the other. Interesting taste and consistency, if not a tad dry. Didn't taste ANYTHING like either of the flavours really, but again, if she is pushed for something it is maybe worth considering....Waaaaaaaay after all her other supplements of choice of course. Sometimes it takes trying out other supplement snacks to appreciate the ones you usually take!
Other ideal snacks to take out and about with you are 'natures own' snacks, in perfect portion sizes. For example, apples, bananas, pears. Oh and let's be honest, who doesn't like a nice pear eh? Or, if you don't want the whole 'carrying around an apple in your handbag until it rots down to a pulp' type scenario (we've all done it-even Gym Ninja!) then pick up some 'School Bars'. Asda and Tesco sell them and they are effectively fruit squashed into a bar shape. Tastes a bit like Chewits. Great to give to little Ninjas too, as they are more inclined to scoff them.
If you are in need of a biscuity type snack (that is not chocolately) then take a look at Jordans Frusli (also at the supermarket). Wheat free too! Nice dunked in tea. Hmm...Gym Ninja did have other stuff to tell you about that's fab for taking with you when you need to maintain energy levels and fuel the body (eg when driving, Christmas Shopping, working etc), but the current freezing weather has frozen her Ninja brain and so she will have to abandon her informative post today, without fully spurting out her info. Ooops!
But before she goes, she did have an idea for a great Christmas gift to give a friend or family member who is a fitness fanatic. A Christmas Hamper filled with supplements! Either check out the websites of your favourite supplement companies and see what offers they have on right now and buy a selection that meets their fitness goals, or just pick up some different snack and protein bars and make a fitness selection box!
EG, for someone who is trying to reduce body fat and tone up, Gym Ninja would buy Promax Diet, Thermabol and Promax Crisp bars (with maybe some CLA thrown in if she is feeling generous) and put them in a nice wrapped gift box.
For someone wanting to build muscle and stay lean, she'd maybe buy Cyclone, Thermobol and Promax Meal Bars...perhaps with some Creatamax thrown in? Again, depends on who it is as to how much she'd buy!
The Selection Box may have her beloved Promax Crisp bars in it with her equally loved PowerBars, maybe some Clif Bars and so on.....you get the idea. Time to get creative with your Christmas Gifts if you know for a fact they are loving their healthy lifestyle. You don't have to buy all the stuff from one brand. You can mix and match for some variety. Go on...you must know someone who'd like that?
OK, Gym Ninja is now frozen solid so will sign off today...... see you all tomorrow!
Gym Ninja x
Other ideal snacks to take out and about with you are 'natures own' snacks, in perfect portion sizes. For example, apples, bananas, pears. Oh and let's be honest, who doesn't like a nice pear eh? Or, if you don't want the whole 'carrying around an apple in your handbag until it rots down to a pulp' type scenario (we've all done it-even Gym Ninja!) then pick up some 'School Bars'. Asda and Tesco sell them and they are effectively fruit squashed into a bar shape. Tastes a bit like Chewits. Great to give to little Ninjas too, as they are more inclined to scoff them.
If you are in need of a biscuity type snack (that is not chocolately) then take a look at Jordans Frusli (also at the supermarket). Wheat free too! Nice dunked in tea. Hmm...Gym Ninja did have other stuff to tell you about that's fab for taking with you when you need to maintain energy levels and fuel the body (eg when driving, Christmas Shopping, working etc), but the current freezing weather has frozen her Ninja brain and so she will have to abandon her informative post today, without fully spurting out her info. Ooops!
But before she goes, she did have an idea for a great Christmas gift to give a friend or family member who is a fitness fanatic. A Christmas Hamper filled with supplements! Either check out the websites of your favourite supplement companies and see what offers they have on right now and buy a selection that meets their fitness goals, or just pick up some different snack and protein bars and make a fitness selection box!
EG, for someone who is trying to reduce body fat and tone up, Gym Ninja would buy Promax Diet, Thermabol and Promax Crisp bars (with maybe some CLA thrown in if she is feeling generous) and put them in a nice wrapped gift box.
For someone wanting to build muscle and stay lean, she'd maybe buy Cyclone, Thermobol and Promax Meal Bars...perhaps with some Creatamax thrown in? Again, depends on who it is as to how much she'd buy!
The Selection Box may have her beloved Promax Crisp bars in it with her equally loved PowerBars, maybe some Clif Bars and so on.....you get the idea. Time to get creative with your Christmas Gifts if you know for a fact they are loving their healthy lifestyle. You don't have to buy all the stuff from one brand. You can mix and match for some variety. Go on...you must know someone who'd like that?
OK, Gym Ninja is now frozen solid so will sign off today...... see you all tomorrow!
Gym Ninja x
Friday, 11 December 2009
Ninja Pie!
No!!!!!
Not an actual pie. Gym Ninja does not do 'pie'. Think more 'pie chart'. Think 'divisions of a whole.' Think percentages. Stop before you get to Venn Diagrams as they are neither use nor ornament. No. Go back a step and get to percentages and then....can you guess? Can you?
Yep. Gym Ninja finally took the Tanita Body Composition scales out of the box...and 'stepped on them!'. Yep. Gym Ninja now knows a veritable pie chart of facts about what she is 'made up' of. .... .... Give or take natural fluctuations, wonky floor tiles, too much liquid prior to weighing, too little liquid prior to weighing, the direction of the suns rays, the colour of butterfly wings...OK, so it is never 100% accurate but it gives Gym Ninja a clue as to whether she is on the right track...
It took a fair bit of doing though. Gym Ninja used to weigh herself every Saturday morning after she'd hopped out of bed., but has not done so for a month. Plus she had been eating like a horse recently so was a tad concerned! Plus, ladies, the Tanita scales insist that for accuracy you must NOT use them within 3 hours of food, sleep or workout! That means...weighing without being dehydrated and empty of food (the way us women like to be weighed!!!). EEEK! She would have to get up, eat breakfast and then 3 hours later, weigh herself. Cripes!
So Gym Ninja had an idea. Today she hopped out of bed and hit the normal bathroom scales as per usual. PHEW! Weight pretty much the same. This is her 'control' so now she knows whatever the Tanita scales say, she is similar in weight to how she was before. Gym Ninja proceeded to then have a Promax smoothie for breakfast...let's not tempt fate eh?
She clock watched as she did her admin from home. Then, at 11.40am precisely, Gym Ninja became naked Ninja and stepped on the scales, pulling up the special handles so that the scales would measure her entire body...
The scales are fab. Gym Ninja loves gadgets and these are fantastic. They allow you to set 4 people's user details in such a age, gender, activity level (Gym Ninja programmed herself in under the athlete label as she correctly matched her details in the handbook which suggested she did this). The scales would then test for the following, and when it came to muscle mass and body fat, would also show individual arm, leg and (elephants) trunk readings as well as collective readings. OOOOOOH! It then records the details and you can refer back to them. There is also a guest mode. Tanita must know you will harp on about this so drunken friends will then insist on trying them, stripping naked in your bathroom.
So...the scales would tell Gym Ninja the following:
Body Weight as in the normal 'OMG how can this be, I hardly ate anything yesterday' type reading.
She registered 4 lbs more as she was not dehydrated and 'empty' ahem! So she measured 8 stone 8lbs.
Total Body Fat registered as 15.6%.
It then gave breakdowns of percentages for her limbs and trunk. Remarkably, she discovered that her right leg is a fattie compared to her left leg. 'Righty' measures at 18.4% fat whilst 'Leftie' measures only 16.3%.
Who knew? Oh it gave arm readings & torso too but next time Gym Ninja will give individual readings, as she is too tired today!
Total Body Water registered at 62.4% which is normal
Visceral Fat measured on a scale of 1-59 with 1-12 being healthy. Gym Ninja scored 1. YAY!
Basal Metabolic Rate the cals allowed just to stay alive is 1350 kcals.
Metabolic Age which is the average age associated with metabolism came out at 20! This is fantastic as Gym Ninja is not 20.
Muscle Mass came out as a total in stones. Gym Nina weighs in at 6 stone 12.6lbs of sheer muscle! The rest is 'bits and bobs'. Again, individual arm/leg/torso results too.
Bone Mass came out at 5lbs. This is in the right zone apparently according to the book so Gym Ninja is not a honeycomb inside.
Exciting stuff no? Gym Ninja will try it weekly and then start to see where the variations are and then begin to use it to monitor her fitness results. Increase the weights and then see what happens on the scales. Marvelous!!!!!!!! Gym Ninja is harping on about these scales SO much she may have a word with the company she bought them off to see if they can organize a discount for you? She will report back if successful on this mission of mercy.............
OK. Gym Ninja needs to go now as there is some low fat peanut butter calling her name. She thinks Fattie Right Leg is the culprit who craves it then stashes it away!
Have a good day!!!!!
'He who eat too many prunes, sits on potty many moons'
Gym Ninja x
Not an actual pie. Gym Ninja does not do 'pie'. Think more 'pie chart'. Think 'divisions of a whole.' Think percentages. Stop before you get to Venn Diagrams as they are neither use nor ornament. No. Go back a step and get to percentages and then....can you guess? Can you?
Yep. Gym Ninja finally took the Tanita Body Composition scales out of the box...and 'stepped on them!'. Yep. Gym Ninja now knows a veritable pie chart of facts about what she is 'made up' of. .... .... Give or take natural fluctuations, wonky floor tiles, too much liquid prior to weighing, too little liquid prior to weighing, the direction of the suns rays, the colour of butterfly wings...OK, so it is never 100% accurate but it gives Gym Ninja a clue as to whether she is on the right track...
It took a fair bit of doing though. Gym Ninja used to weigh herself every Saturday morning after she'd hopped out of bed., but has not done so for a month. Plus she had been eating like a horse recently so was a tad concerned! Plus, ladies, the Tanita scales insist that for accuracy you must NOT use them within 3 hours of food, sleep or workout! That means...weighing without being dehydrated and empty of food (the way us women like to be weighed!!!). EEEK! She would have to get up, eat breakfast and then 3 hours later, weigh herself. Cripes!
So Gym Ninja had an idea. Today she hopped out of bed and hit the normal bathroom scales as per usual. PHEW! Weight pretty much the same. This is her 'control' so now she knows whatever the Tanita scales say, she is similar in weight to how she was before. Gym Ninja proceeded to then have a Promax smoothie for breakfast...let's not tempt fate eh?
She clock watched as she did her admin from home. Then, at 11.40am precisely, Gym Ninja became naked Ninja and stepped on the scales, pulling up the special handles so that the scales would measure her entire body...
The scales are fab. Gym Ninja loves gadgets and these are fantastic. They allow you to set 4 people's user details in such a age, gender, activity level (Gym Ninja programmed herself in under the athlete label as she correctly matched her details in the handbook which suggested she did this). The scales would then test for the following, and when it came to muscle mass and body fat, would also show individual arm, leg and (elephants) trunk readings as well as collective readings. OOOOOOH! It then records the details and you can refer back to them. There is also a guest mode. Tanita must know you will harp on about this so drunken friends will then insist on trying them, stripping naked in your bathroom.
So...the scales would tell Gym Ninja the following:
Body Weight as in the normal 'OMG how can this be, I hardly ate anything yesterday' type reading.
She registered 4 lbs more as she was not dehydrated and 'empty' ahem! So she measured 8 stone 8lbs.
Total Body Fat registered as 15.6%.
It then gave breakdowns of percentages for her limbs and trunk. Remarkably, she discovered that her right leg is a fattie compared to her left leg. 'Righty' measures at 18.4% fat whilst 'Leftie' measures only 16.3%.
Who knew? Oh it gave arm readings & torso too but next time Gym Ninja will give individual readings, as she is too tired today!
Total Body Water registered at 62.4% which is normal
Visceral Fat measured on a scale of 1-59 with 1-12 being healthy. Gym Ninja scored 1. YAY!
Basal Metabolic Rate the cals allowed just to stay alive is 1350 kcals.
Metabolic Age which is the average age associated with metabolism came out at 20! This is fantastic as Gym Ninja is not 20.
Muscle Mass came out as a total in stones. Gym Nina weighs in at 6 stone 12.6lbs of sheer muscle! The rest is 'bits and bobs'. Again, individual arm/leg/torso results too.
Bone Mass came out at 5lbs. This is in the right zone apparently according to the book so Gym Ninja is not a honeycomb inside.
Exciting stuff no? Gym Ninja will try it weekly and then start to see where the variations are and then begin to use it to monitor her fitness results. Increase the weights and then see what happens on the scales. Marvelous!!!!!!!! Gym Ninja is harping on about these scales SO much she may have a word with the company she bought them off to see if they can organize a discount for you? She will report back if successful on this mission of mercy.............
OK. Gym Ninja needs to go now as there is some low fat peanut butter calling her name. She thinks Fattie Right Leg is the culprit who craves it then stashes it away!
Have a good day!!!!!
'He who eat too many prunes, sits on potty many moons'
Gym Ninja x
Thursday, 10 December 2009
What's that smell?
T'was a stinky old Gym session for Gym Ninja today. To the point where she started to question whether this 'illness/overtraining' malarkey she'd recently suffered from had left her with an 'enhanced bionic sense of smell'? Everything was so very pungent...or should that be 'everyone?'
Gym Ninja has suffered a fair bit of bloating these past few days. No explanation forthcoming other than again, maybe if this tiredness was virus related, then it may be a nasty Ninja Germ that is balloon-like in stature, filling up Gym Ninja's stomach. Stupid balloon virus....
So, off Gym Ninja pootled to the gym after a day sorting through quotes and admin. Her first cardio session of the week (shocking I know) and much needed. T'was also Leg Day for Gym Ninja aka Balloon Ninja & she was looking forward to it (whist hiding her balloon tummy behind her sweat towel).
As she wandered over to the treadmills, a strong waft of Deep Heat hit her nose! Someone on the cardio equipment had greased themselves up in it. Look, if you MUST use Deep Heat, do so at home or outside. NOT in the gym. NOT next to Gym/Balloon Ninja please. It makes her nostrils hot!
So after a hot nostril-ed 20 minute run, interspersed by strong wafts of BO from an unidentified Gym Member (although it's a high possibility that it was the man with about 5 flies buzzing around him who created the stinky BO?), Gym Ninja went upstairs to start her leg training...
At the top of the stairs...oh look. Look who it is again? Lanky! He greets Gym Ninja and they exchange pleasantries. he tells her about his new job and how he plans to fit in his workouts around it. They laugh at how true gym addicts consider workouts and when they can hit the gym if they take the job, when job seeking.
"When I'm job hunting I'm just interested in making sure I can fit in enough time to work my muscles afterwards" Said Gym Ninja.
Lanky Nodded.
"There's only one muscle I'M interested in working right now!" He said, nudging Gym Ninja.
"Fnar Fnar!"
She looked at him.
She looked at the arm that he had nudged.
Do not 'nudge' Gym Ninja. She could slit your throat with the edge of her gym sweat towel if you touch her without asking.
'I think you'll find, THAT is not a muscle!" She berated him, rolling her eyes.
"Er..I meant my ears"! Backpedalled Lanky.
But then, returning to the very essence of Frankie Howard, he continued with...
"The thing with ears like mine, is that you could hang on to them and I don't need to come up for air much".
Gym Ninja is aware of the power that is her 'withering stare' and for that reason rarely rolls it out. But now it was needed. Cue withering stare and a very technical and ardor dampening explanation about cartilage of the ear.
Today's session was a mixture of squats, deadlifts, straight legged deadlifts, split squats and a couple of faffy machines thrown in. Namely the Adductor and Abductor machines. Uh oh. Bionic smell came back. The Adductor machine area smelled of dog poo. Gym Ninja checked the carpet area. No stains. She checked the foot rests of the machine for 'scrapings' of dog poo. Nothing. So Gym Ninja was just about to sit down on the machine, when she started to wonder exactly what WAS causing the smell? Was it something non-dog related? Was it something on the seat perhaps...?
Gym Ninja decided that actually, she didn't feel like working her Adductors today......!
Back in the changing rooms Gym Ninja rummaged around in her handbag, only to notice everything had a thin veil of pale brown powder on it. Her bag also smelled of chocolate. Bionic sense of smell you see.
Hmmm...
After a quick investigation, it turned out a previous sandwich bag she'd stashed a spare serving of Chocolate Promax protein powder in had leaked due to her not sealing it properly, so now all her handbag contents were lined in chocolate flavoured protein powder. Nice! A very expensive yet high quality bag freshener. Talking of supplements, tomorrow Gym Ninja may regale you with her latest adventures in trialling new supplements, namely protein bars. Yum! But then again, she may get a mission and end up talking about that instead. That's the thing with Gym Ninja..you just never know.....
'Man who fish in other mans well often catch crabs'
Gym Ninja x
Gym Ninja has suffered a fair bit of bloating these past few days. No explanation forthcoming other than again, maybe if this tiredness was virus related, then it may be a nasty Ninja Germ that is balloon-like in stature, filling up Gym Ninja's stomach. Stupid balloon virus....
So, off Gym Ninja pootled to the gym after a day sorting through quotes and admin. Her first cardio session of the week (shocking I know) and much needed. T'was also Leg Day for Gym Ninja aka Balloon Ninja & she was looking forward to it (whist hiding her balloon tummy behind her sweat towel).
As she wandered over to the treadmills, a strong waft of Deep Heat hit her nose! Someone on the cardio equipment had greased themselves up in it. Look, if you MUST use Deep Heat, do so at home or outside. NOT in the gym. NOT next to Gym/Balloon Ninja please. It makes her nostrils hot!
So after a hot nostril-ed 20 minute run, interspersed by strong wafts of BO from an unidentified Gym Member (although it's a high possibility that it was the man with about 5 flies buzzing around him who created the stinky BO?), Gym Ninja went upstairs to start her leg training...
At the top of the stairs...oh look. Look who it is again? Lanky! He greets Gym Ninja and they exchange pleasantries. he tells her about his new job and how he plans to fit in his workouts around it. They laugh at how true gym addicts consider workouts and when they can hit the gym if they take the job, when job seeking.
"When I'm job hunting I'm just interested in making sure I can fit in enough time to work my muscles afterwards" Said Gym Ninja.
Lanky Nodded.
"There's only one muscle I'M interested in working right now!" He said, nudging Gym Ninja.
"Fnar Fnar!"
She looked at him.
She looked at the arm that he had nudged.
Do not 'nudge' Gym Ninja. She could slit your throat with the edge of her gym sweat towel if you touch her without asking.
'I think you'll find, THAT is not a muscle!" She berated him, rolling her eyes.
"Er..I meant my ears"! Backpedalled Lanky.
But then, returning to the very essence of Frankie Howard, he continued with...
"The thing with ears like mine, is that you could hang on to them and I don't need to come up for air much".
Gym Ninja is aware of the power that is her 'withering stare' and for that reason rarely rolls it out. But now it was needed. Cue withering stare and a very technical and ardor dampening explanation about cartilage of the ear.
Today's session was a mixture of squats, deadlifts, straight legged deadlifts, split squats and a couple of faffy machines thrown in. Namely the Adductor and Abductor machines. Uh oh. Bionic smell came back. The Adductor machine area smelled of dog poo. Gym Ninja checked the carpet area. No stains. She checked the foot rests of the machine for 'scrapings' of dog poo. Nothing. So Gym Ninja was just about to sit down on the machine, when she started to wonder exactly what WAS causing the smell? Was it something non-dog related? Was it something on the seat perhaps...?
Gym Ninja decided that actually, she didn't feel like working her Adductors today......!
Back in the changing rooms Gym Ninja rummaged around in her handbag, only to notice everything had a thin veil of pale brown powder on it. Her bag also smelled of chocolate. Bionic sense of smell you see.
Hmmm...
After a quick investigation, it turned out a previous sandwich bag she'd stashed a spare serving of Chocolate Promax protein powder in had leaked due to her not sealing it properly, so now all her handbag contents were lined in chocolate flavoured protein powder. Nice! A very expensive yet high quality bag freshener. Talking of supplements, tomorrow Gym Ninja may regale you with her latest adventures in trialling new supplements, namely protein bars. Yum! But then again, she may get a mission and end up talking about that instead. That's the thing with Gym Ninja..you just never know.....
'Man who fish in other mans well often catch crabs'
Gym Ninja x
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