It's cold! You do an audible "brrrr" you only ever do in supermarket chiller sections as you clang your trolley against 5 others who are congregated around the turkeys. The turkey area looks like a whole rack of mooning bottoms, and you are now part of the vast crowd staring back at them. Cue much prodding of turkeys, then feeling slightly pervy at prodding the turkeys as it feels a bit funny, then not actually knowing why you are prodding them, but what you DO know is that you wanted that one that the lady in the red coat has just picked up. Grrrr! Stressed! You settle for a huge turkey the size of next door's dog, and heave it into the trolley. You notice that the turkey also has goosebumps. Or should that be turkeybumps? Anyhow, this pondering is not helping so you start to maneuver the trolley towards the sausages. It's one big innuendo this shopping trip so far! You need the sausages for many many reasons. Mostly because it just wouldn't be Christmas without rolls of reconstituted nostrils, testicles, ears and nipples (aka sausages-can you tell Gym Ninja is not a fan??) to munch on. This supermarket shop is now in Frankie Howard territory! CHEESE!!! Surely you added cheese on your list? You remember you had added one....but look! Look at the pretty cheeses. Thousands of them. All different colours, with fancy names, italic lettered labels, oh and the ones in the cute boxes. They look fun! Oooh, and the one that smells of rotting feet. Ah, now you probably meant to add that to the list no? Plus you need the round one. Hmm, best to add 7 or 8 cheeses to the trolley 'just in case'.......*clunk* goes the tonne of cheese that hits the bottom of the trolley, squashing the broccoli as it falls.
Sound familiar so far......? Yep. Thought so.....! Well, it is getting a tad long this blog so Gym Ninja has chopped it up for easy bite sized (low cal of course) blog chunks, so be sure to report back tomorrow for your next stage of the Great Christmas Supermarket Shop.......tomorrow we leave the chiller section for pastures new...!
Gym Ninja x