Wednesday, 9 December 2009

Silly Billy Ninja!

Oh dear!

You'll recall that yesterday Gym Ninja was icky sicky/over-trained/mentally drained (delete as applicable)  and was toying with the idea of sneaking off to the gym for a surreptitious workout? Albeit a toned down weights-only workout? Well....why didn't you STOP her? *sigh*

OK, so off went Gym Ninja yesterday after work, dragging her wearing icky sicky feet to the gym. Maybe she will feel better once she is there? She already knows she will not attempt cardio, but instead do a lighter version of her usual upper body routine. Just to get her muscles pumping and maybe flush out whatever this nasty evil draining bug is in her. If it IS a bug? If it is mental fatigue then maybe it will help her?   Plus, she collected her recent delivery of 4 boxes (yup, 4!!!) of Promax Crisp Bars today...well, they were (and still are actually) on offer for 'Buy 3 get 1 free' so it'd have been rude to buy any she was kind of inspired!

Once at the gym, GN stuffed her bag into the locker and headed up the main staircase of the gym. Today was NOT the day for tackling the spiral staircase that runs directly up from the Female Changing Rooms to the upper level of the gym. Not with dizziness!!!! She took the 'sensible' route and clung onto the metal handrail of the main staircase, despite knowing full well it would predictably give Gym Ninja an electric shock as she did so.


Yep. There it was. Electric shock! Whoevers idea it was to fashion a handrail in a gym full of people clad head to toe in man-made fabrics wants shooting. Is it  purely coincidence straight-haired people join the gym and frizzy haired people leave it...?

At the top of the stairs, Gym Ninja bumped into an acquaintance. Lanky. Lanky was keen to drag Gym Ninja into the 5.30pm Spin Class but GN quickly explained her 'illness' which was why, unfortunately, she would not be able to attend tonight's class. Besides, Penguin (aka the Fat One) was taking the class. That means you may as well free-wheel through the session, as he certainly does. Lanky was sympathetic.

"Oh, that's a shame. What's wrong with you?" He enquired.
"Dizziness, feeling exhausted, generally weak and drained", Lamented Gym Ninja, feeling sorry for herself.
Lanky nodded.
"Aww, sorry to hear that mate!" He said.
*Cue weak smile from Gym Ninja.*
"So,...fancy trying Khai Bo Class after? It makes you sweat LOTS!". Lanky grinned at Gym Ninja. She stared back at him.
"Er...I'm sick, weak and dizzy remember?" She reminded him. Khai Bo indeed! May as well order a body bag.....!

Gym Ninja shuffled into the womens section of the gym, did some Dynamic Stretches to warm up, then picked up a lighter than usual barbell to begin with a bent over row.  To her right was a girl standing in front of the  mirror, dumbbell above her head performing an Overhead Triceps Extension....with a 'twist'. An unintentional twist, but one all the same. The girl had crossed her left foot over her right in almost a ballet-style position, and was arching her back so badly she looked banana-shaped. Gym Ninja winced.

Back to her bent Over Row, Gym Ninja realised that even the lighter weight was a tad too much for her faffy weak grip. Stupid Ninja. Fancy coming to the gym when under the weather. Ah well, she was here now...and she'd set up in the far corner of the free weight area so she could be weak and feeble alone. Well, that was the plan, until all of a sudden, a huge woman came over, and stepped in front of Gym Ninja mid-row.

"Excuse me!" Bellowed Giantess.

She stuffed herself between Gym Ninja and the Cable machine that is never ever used, in the corner of the free weights area. Ooops. Who'd have thought someone would use that today? Gym Ninja repositioned herself and carried on as best she could.

Having given up after 3 sets of reps, Gym Ninja dragged herself across the room to a bench and got some dumbbells, ready to do a chest press. Just as she was adjusting the bench, someone barged into her, nearly knocking her flying as they rushed past. Giantess! Gym Ninja looked around. ACRES of free floor space and she had to squash past her? WTF???

UUUHR! Tough going today, even with cotton-bud sized weights.  Once that particular exercise was completed, Gym Ninja stood up and was about to move over to the weights when a girl fell over her bench! She'd been carrying a mat above her head and part of the mat had flopped over her face just as she strode past Gym Ninja's bench, obscuring her vision and resulting in her walking slap bang into it. Thank GOD GN had finished her set. A face full of passerby would not have done wonders for her energy levels!

Struggling next with overhead Dumbbell Presses, Gym Ninja soon realised that she'd do far more damage than good by being here. It wasn't 'flushing out' the germs or helping alleviate the mental fatigue. It was just making her feel even weaker. But Gym Ninja would just try some Hammer Curls and overhead (non-banana spine) Triceps Extensions 'just to make sure'....nope! DISASTER! Time to go home with your icky feeling of weakness. In fact, it was rather selfish of Gym Ninja to rock up at the gym feeling less than 100%. Goddamit, what is this evil source of Kryptonite that was draining her so badly??

Once in the changing rooms, she retrieved her bag and checked her work phone. A work email.

"Uhhhr!" Tutted Gym Ninja

"Oh I'm terribly sorry, were you using this locker?" Enquired a woman next to her. OMG, the woman had thought Gym Ninja was 'Uhhhr-ing' at her! A quick apology and explanation later about her tutting outburst, and Gym Ninja was off, into the about 3 mph.....

So, my Ninjarettes, it is not always the best idea to force oneself to go to the gym when tired. Occasionally (less often than you'd think mind!) you actually ARE too tired to go!
Signing out for today....

'Man Who Drive Like Hell Bound To Get There!'
(how terribly irrelevant today actually!)

Gym Ninja x