Silly Billy Ninja!

Oh dear!

You'll recall that yesterday Gym Ninja was icky sicky/over-trained/mentally drained (delete as applicable)  and was toying with the idea of sneaking off to the gym for a surreptitious workout? Albeit a toned down weights-only workout? Well....why didn't you STOP her? *sigh*

OK, so off went Gym Ninja yesterday after work, dragging her wearing icky sicky feet to the gym. Maybe she will feel better once she is there? She already knows she will not attempt cardio, but instead do a lighter version of her usual upper body routine. Just to get her muscles pumping and maybe flush out whatever this nasty evil draining bug is in her. If it IS a bug? If it is mental fatigue then maybe it will help her?   Plus, she collected her recent delivery of 4 boxes (yup, 4!!!) of Promax Crisp Bars today...well, they were (and still are actually) on offer for 'Buy 3 get 1 free' so it'd have been rude to buy any less...ahem...oink.......so she was kind of inspired!

Once at the gym, GN stuffed her bag into the locker and headed up the main staircase of the gym. Today was NOT the day for tackling the spiral staircase that runs directly up from the Female Changing Rooms to the upper level of the gym. Not with dizziness!!!! She took the 'sensible' route and clung onto the metal handrail of the main staircase, despite knowing full well it would predictably give Gym Ninja an electric shock as she did so.

*ZAP!*

Yep. There it was. Electric shock! Whoevers idea it was to fashion a handrail in a gym full of people clad head to toe in man-made fabrics wants shooting. Is it  purely coincidence straight-haired people join the gym and frizzy haired people leave it...?

At the top of the stairs, Gym Ninja bumped into an acquaintance. Lanky. Lanky was keen to drag Gym Ninja into the 5.30pm Spin Class but GN quickly explained her 'illness' which was why, unfortunately, she would not be able to attend tonight's class. Besides, Penguin (aka the Fat One) was taking the class. That means you may as well free-wheel through the session, as he certainly does. Lanky was sympathetic.

"Oh, that's a shame. What's wrong with you?" He enquired.
"Dizziness, feeling exhausted, generally weak and drained", Lamented Gym Ninja, feeling sorry for herself.
Lanky nodded.
"Aww, sorry to hear that mate!" He said.
*Cue weak smile from Gym Ninja.*
"So,...fancy trying Khai Bo Class after? It makes you sweat LOTS!". Lanky grinned at Gym Ninja. She stared back at him.
"Er...I'm sick, weak and dizzy remember?" She reminded him. Khai Bo indeed! May as well order a body bag.....!

Gym Ninja shuffled into the womens section of the gym, did some Dynamic Stretches to warm up, then picked up a lighter than usual barbell to begin with a bent over row.  To her right was a girl standing in front of the  mirror, dumbbell above her head performing an Overhead Triceps Extension....with a 'twist'. An unintentional twist, but one all the same. The girl had crossed her left foot over her right in almost a ballet-style position, and was arching her back so badly she looked banana-shaped. Gym Ninja winced.

Back to her bent Over Row, Gym Ninja realised that even the lighter weight was a tad too much for her faffy weak grip. Stupid Ninja. Fancy coming to the gym when under the weather. Ah well, she was here now...and she'd set up in the far corner of the free weight area so she could be weak and feeble alone. Well, that was the plan, until all of a sudden, a huge woman came over, and stepped in front of Gym Ninja mid-row.

"Excuse me!" Bellowed Giantess.

She stuffed herself between Gym Ninja and the Cable machine that is never ever used, in the corner of the free weights area. Ooops. Who'd have thought someone would use that today? Gym Ninja repositioned herself and carried on as best she could.

Having given up after 3 sets of reps, Gym Ninja dragged herself across the room to a bench and got some dumbbells, ready to do a chest press. Just as she was adjusting the bench, someone barged into her, nearly knocking her flying as they rushed past. Giantess! Gym Ninja looked around. ACRES of free floor space and she had to squash past her? WTF???

UUUHR! Tough going today, even with cotton-bud sized weights.  Once that particular exercise was completed, Gym Ninja stood up and was about to move over to the weights when a girl fell over her bench! She'd been carrying a mat above her head and part of the mat had flopped over her face just as she strode past Gym Ninja's bench, obscuring her vision and resulting in her walking slap bang into it. Thank GOD GN had finished her set. A face full of passerby would not have done wonders for her energy levels!

Struggling next with overhead Dumbbell Presses, Gym Ninja soon realised that she'd do far more damage than good by being here. It wasn't 'flushing out' the germs or helping alleviate the mental fatigue. It was just making her feel even weaker. But Gym Ninja would just try some Hammer Curls and overhead (non-banana spine) Triceps Extensions 'just to make sure'....nope! DISASTER! Time to go home with your icky feeling of weakness. In fact, it was rather selfish of Gym Ninja to rock up at the gym feeling less than 100%. Goddamit, what is this evil source of Kryptonite that was draining her so badly??

Once in the changing rooms, she retrieved her bag and checked her work phone. A work email.

"Uhhhr!" Tutted Gym Ninja

"Oh I'm terribly sorry, were you using this locker?" Enquired a woman next to her. OMG, the woman had thought Gym Ninja was 'Uhhhr-ing' at her! A quick apology and explanation later about her tutting outburst, and Gym Ninja was off, into the night.....at about 3 mph.....

So, my Ninjarettes, it is not always the best idea to force oneself to go to the gym when tired. Occasionally (less often than you'd think mind!) you actually ARE too tired to go!
Signing out for today....

'Man Who Drive Like Hell Bound To Get There!'
(how terribly irrelevant today actually!)

Gym Ninja x

Do you like....?

Do you like what Gym Ninja did with the place?

Dressed it up with some Maximuscle banners.

Admittedly it is possibly not a good thing that Gym Ninja admits to being somewhat 'lazy' in whatever form it takes,  however, she thinks it is far easier to have banners that you can click to reach the product links mentioned here than for her to have to type out and manually add the link every time she mentions her most favourite of proteins (Promax) & her guilt-free pleasure (Promax Crisp Bars).  

Trust Gym Ninja-she has tried many many brands in her time, and had varying results from them all. Some good, some bad, some indifferent. Gym Ninja has now been fortunate that she has found a brand (Maximuscle) that appears to suit her very well indeed. Not just by the results-oh and the results have been fantastic. Surely there must be nothing worse that buying a product, trying it and seeing and/or feeling no discernible difference? Gym Ninja has been that girl. Sadly. Shelled out for a 'Moon On a Stick' type protein powder or pill, all enthusiastic about it... and then seen nothing but a very unattractive side effect of gas/bloating or noting whatsoever. Gym Ninja does not do 'gas'. Just so you know...

Gym Ninja has also tried some ranges of supplements, such as Muscletech, whereby the results seemed very good..if only she could bear to take the goddam things. NOOOOOOOO! Gym Ninja did not used to be a fat kid for nothing you know She needs to like how something tastes. If she doesn't, then it stays in the cupboard. Doesn't really  matter how superb it is if she can't bear to drink it.  She cannot drink a protein drink if it tastes like it was dredged up out of the sink plug hole and strained  through something found at the bottom of the sock drawer. Yuk!

Anyhow, this is why she bleats on about Maximuscle stuff all the time. A genuine preference. It works for Gym Ninja. It tastes very very nice. Oh, and it has an ISO type thingie that is linked with standards of purity etc. Basically they test it that extra way and guarantee it is what it is supposed to be in the tub/bottle/pill. Gym Ninja likes rules and regulations. She'd be able to tell you in more depth about ISOs but hell, has to leave the house now so would suggest if you are interested in that then just go and take a peek at their site. See? Now YOU think it's easier to have the banner links! We can ALL be lazy!

She will change the banners occasionally in the way that women redecorate all the time. But for now she has linked the Promax and the Promax Crisp for you just in case you want to see ingredients/calories/special offers etc. Oh and there are offers on the Promax Crisp Bars as she has just taken advantage of them! Yum!

Gym Ninja will be blogging properly later so be sure to check back. But just wanted to explain the decorations as she knows you'd notice!!!!

I'll be checking you came back later so be sure to log in this evening (or tomorrow) for Gym Ninja's events at the gym last night!!!!!

Gym Ninja x

Sick Ninja

Poor icky sicky Gym Ninja.
She has not been well these past two days.

Unable to quite put her finger on the reason as to why, poor Gym Ninja has been feeling completely drained of all energy, unable to focus, concentrate, string together a complete sentence or even talk in 'joined up writing', let alone write it it. It swept over her Sunday evening, so she sent herself to bed fairly early, hoping a decent night's sleep would cure her.

Monday came...and poor Gym Ninja had to drag herself out of bed, despite having had a decent night's rest.  Hmmm. Gym Ninja is usually bionic. Perhaps she had suffered too much sleep? However, as the day progressed, she found it harder and harder to concentrate on her day job, and driving was certainly hairy when feeling that her concentration levels were lacking.   It comes to something when, despite feeling tired, Gym Ninja concedes defeat and drives right past her regular gym haunt and instead sent herself directly to home, not even passing Go. (or whatever the Monopoly board does-hey, they should make a gym-based Monopoly Board!).

After a nap on the sofa and a health home made soup to try & boost her vitamin quota, Gym Ninja attempted again to go to bed early to try and sleep off the sleepiness. Well, she 'says' early, and indeed 10pm is an early night for her. But to no avail. Her body may have been exhausted, but her mind was wired!

Today, Gym Ninja is less tired yet still feeling 'out of sorts'. A bit flaky. A bit wobbly. A bit lacking in 'oomph'. So Gym Ninja began to consider that perhaps this may not be an odd little virus after all? Perhaps it may be her body telling her to take a break? So she did some research on 'Over-training' and the symptoms it can cause..

Apparently, one does not have to suffer all of the signs to signify that perhaps one is suffering from over training. (Get one, talking in the third person!!), but here is a list that she found online...and she has highlighted those symptoms she feels she may be suffering herself to see if she is indeed a victim!

• Decreased performance (strength, power, muscle endurance, cardiovascular endurance)
• Decreased training tolerance and increased recovery requirements
• Decreased motor coordination
• Increased technical faults

Physiology

• Altered resting heart rate (HR), blood pressure and respiration patterns
• Decreased body fat and post-exercise body weight
• Increased VO2, VE , and HR during submaximal work
• Decreased lactate response
• Increased basal metabolic rate
• Chronic fatigue
• Sleep and eating disorders
• Menstrual disruptions
• Headaches, gastrointestinal distress
• Muscle soreness and damage
• Joint aches and pains

Psychological

• Depression and apathy
• Decreased self-esteem
• Decreased ability to concentrate
• Decreased self-efficacy
• Sensitive to stress

Immunological

• Increased occurrence of illness
• Decreased rate of healing
• Impaired immune function (neutrophils, lymphocytes, mitogen responses, eosinophils)

Biochemical

• Hypothalamic dysfunction
• Increased serum cortisol and SHBG
• Decreased serum total and free testosterone, testosterone/cortisol ratio
• Decreased muscle glycogen
• Decreased serum hemoglobin, iron, and ferritin
• Negative N2 balance

Don't ask Gym Ninja what the last lot means please. She is feeling all fuzzy in the head as it is, let alone trying to decipher that!  However she has noted that a lot of her symptoms are reflected in the 'Psychological' category. Maybe Gym Ninja is in need of a holiday? Maybe it is not actual gym overtraining, but just the stresses of work and everyday life as it sure does get hectic this time of year!

But Gym Ninja will take it easy this coming week, as she has some exams at the weekend which means she is effectively not having any time off for 12 days on the trot. Tonight, she will attempt to hit the Gym, as it can often help boost energy levels when feeling mentally fatigued (which in itself can manifest as physical fatigue). But just to be on the 'safe' side, Gym Ninja will avoid cardio (for fear of falley-offey treadmillitis) and instead stick with lighter upper body weights than usual. See if that helps in some way? 

What a terribly self-indulgent blog post today this may seem. But Gym Ninja would ask that you all just take a moment to see if you are suffering any of the symptoms listed above? Are you pushing yourself too hard? The point of exercise is to boost our health remember-not damage it. Sometimes it takes something like this to make you realise it!

OK-Gym Ninja is now signing off so will be back to her cheery self tomorrow. Fingers crossed....

But hell, why not add one of these eh? Can't ALL be doom and gloom today....

Man Who Run In Front Of Car Get Tired.

Man Who Run Behind Car Get Exhausted!

Gym Ninja x

Gadgets Galore!

Today, Gym Ninja became Gadget Ninja.

To be fair, Gym Ninja is always Gadget Ninja, yet this is not a gadget blog, so she hushes her mouth.  So why mention it? Well, they are gadgets for health and fitness, which is right up your street, no? If not, why else would you be dropping by? I guess if you didn't, we'd only talk about you!     ;-)  

So what did Gadget Ninja decide to regale you with today? Three gadgets. How terribly exciting! She would have regaled you with a trip to the gym, but was yet again SABOTAGED by something in her own home. A bowl. Yes, in her haste to get a bowl out to decant her Maximuscle Promax frozen sorbet protein mix, she smacked herself in the lip with it, causing a bit of a cut and swelling. Ow. So back to the gadgety stuff......

The first, is the ever wonderful, splendid and tremendous Tanita BB 545 Innerscan Body Composition Monitor...   Huh? What's that? Ahhhh... scales that measure what % of you wobbles, flexes and sloshes. Body Composition at the advanced level.  Just when you thought you would never get more hung up on how many Kilos you weight, there comes along a potential way of justifying (or berating) your weight gain/loss.  It's a tricky old subject. Very difficult to accurately monitor your true body composition short of dunking you in a big tank of water like a giant Tetley Tea Bag (although to be fair, it is a tad  more technical than how Gym Ninja describes it here). But Tanita are very highly regarded in their field, and this is no cheap Body Composition Monitor. No sireebob!

Gym Ninja knows what you are thinking right now. He's a good looking chap on the box, no? But let us drag your dirty eyes off the fake man on the box and instead look on the back of the box to give us a better idea of what it does and what to expect.  In a Ninja nutshell, it assists the Ninja in monitoring the changes in her fitness regime, along with the effects of her nutrition and supplementation programme. Has she been genuinely adding lean muscle and stripping away the body fat, which is why the scales have moved up? Or is she in fact, a Ninja shaped stack of blubber with a few bones and blood vessels mushed up in the core?  We will soon learn...

The Tanita BC 545's monitor the following:

Body Fat % and Muscle Mass by 'segments' (a bit like a chocolate orange yet less chocolately). A segment is an arm, leg, and trunk (if you are an elephant).

BMR which is Basal Metabolic 'Age', which then gives you a calorie reading for what you need to eat to keep you alive..ALIVE I say.....!

Visceral Fat...the blubbery stuff protecting  (or suffocating, depending on the amount) your internal organs.

Bone Mass...are you strong and healthy or a bit like a Crunchie Bar?

% of Total Water...do you slosh when you walk?

Oh...it also tells you your weight. How terribly old school....!

So what's Gym Ninja's readings I hear you ask? Slowly Slowly catch the fatty monkey, as they say. Gym Ninja has yet to build up the nerve to try these stupendous scales. Needs to be in the 'right' frame of mind the first time she tries it..a  bit like shopping for jeans.  But watch this space, as Gym Ninja didn't splash out on these solely for the beefcake on the front of the box!!!!!

Gadget Number 2 is..

The iPhone 3GS.

Oooooooooh! To be fair, do not assume Gym Ninja is backward. She has an iPhone already, but hers is 17 months old *gasp* and in need of an upgrade to the 'disguise-busting' white model. In hindsight this will make it harder for a black-clad Ninja to seamlessly blend into the background...but hell. It's sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo amazing!  The gadget part comes into the Apps. Ooodles of Apps of a Health & Fitness Persuasion to monitor your workouts, your food intake, and even an app to show you the side effects of various e-numbers and chemical additives in foods.  Gym Ninja must now walk away from this paragraph for fear of becoming obsessed...

So the final Gadget? OK, so it isn't a gadget in itself. It is a book... see?

Yep. Gym Ninja's 2010 obsession coming to a blog near you. The gadget (if you will) is a skipping rope and this book describes good old 'Buddy' (!) as 'a wizard of the rope'. Just who of us out there would pass up a chance to be described as a 'wizard of the rope?' Hell, Gym Ninja would settle for being a 'Fairy of Skipping' right now. So she will start to read the book....and digest the facts...and then pass them all on to you. if you then refuse to join it too, she will hunt you all down and give you all Chinese Burns until you do........and then we can all do the 'X-Foot Cross', or the 'Full Twister' moves together.

Happy? It was a bit health and fitness related after all no?

Gym Ninja is signing off for tonight. Hopefully tomorrow she will have an exercise story for you. Until then...remember this saying...

'Man who stand on toilet is high on pot...'

Gym Ninja 

Junk Mail, Junk Food

*Bows*
Welcome back.
So sorry for the delay in posting today, but Gym Ninja has been posting her unworn Shinobi Shozoku Ninja evening dresses on eBay to raise some funds for Christmas.


On an entirely different note, something that has bugged Gym Ninja today is the nature of the junk mail posted through her front door. She thinks that the local Fast Food emporiums are severely missing the custom of the previous occupant of this house, who was what can only be described as a man of very large and pudgy stature. Blatantly the amount of flyers stuffed through Gym Ninja's letterbox each day indicates that perhaps Pudgy was a major source of their income each week?  They must be missing his nightly orders?  Every evening when Gym Ninja returns from a mission, she has to wade through a veritable forrest of Pizza,Chinese Takeaway/Curry House/Kebab Shop/Chip Shop flyers just to reach her living room.  There is no escape from within the free newspapers either, as this photo of a FarmFoods flyer shows.


Look at 'all the bargains' that Farm Foods want us to rush out and buy!

 

Frozen Chips, Breaded Onion Rings, Pizzas, Cheesecake, Chicken Dippers, Fresh Cream Eclairs....

What exactly is good value about these supposed foods? 

Hmmmm. 

They appear to have taken basic vegetables and lean meat, pumped them full of chemicals, fats and other preservatives, added a hefty serving of salt and then served them up devoid of most of their original nutrients. Stuck in a box, labelled for £1 and lying in wait in the Farm Foods chiller cabinets, these 'foods' bide their time until an unsuspecting consumer reaches in, picks them up & buys them as they appear to be very good value.  Once home, the 'food' is heated up, dished up and then eaten up by the consumer and their families... Maybe even on a regular basis?  So why does this annoy Gym Ninja?

Allow her to explain. Consuming a regular plentiful supply of such items shown in the photographs above will begin to take its toll on the poor unsuspecting consumer and their families. They will possibly feel lethargic and tired, blaming their jobs or how hectic life is. They will probably start to gain weight but justify it and say it's down to their metabolism slowing down. They will even begin to suffer health issues like high blood pressure and raised cholesterol, along with joint pain that they will put down to 'getting older'. But do you know what? The lethargy and tiredness may well be down to malnutrition as they are eating empty worthless fake foods. Their weight gain will be due to high levels of saturated fats, hidden sugars and the effects of the chemicals used in the meals. That weight gain will then cause wear and tear on their joints and increase their cholesterol levels, putting them at risk of heart attacks and strokes. The high blood pressure will  be down to their weight gain and the huge quantity of hidden salt they eat....and so it continues.  But has the consumer linked what they eat with how they feel? Really? Do you think so? 

Gym Ninja thinks there is an awful lot of ignorance regarding food out there. She must stress that this is in NO WAY down to the consumer on the whole. No.  Why, unless someone brings it to their attention by education and information, would they suppose that something they can walk into a shop and buy, could cause so many problems for them? If they have always felt lethargic, struggled with their weight and had nagging aches and pains for as long as they can remember, why would they then start looking for a cause when they'd most likely attribute it to 'getting older'?

If they were a car and had a choice of filling up with quality fuel or making do with something cheap and cheerful that was made out of reconstituted cr*p that will damage the engine of their car, would they choose the latter option?  Really? Knowing the damage it would do? Stop and think for a while about how magnificent the human body is. Nothing, absolutely NOTHING that us humans can make (other than babies of course!)  that is to be used every single day for on average of 70-80 years onwards, can survive as well as the human body can.  We can't even build things that last more than a few years without collapsing can we?? Nothing we can make ourselves that may then break whilst being used on a daily basis, is capable of repairing itself in the way that our own bodies can if given half the chance and the right nutrients to do so. So if we feed our bodies with quality, balanced foods and exercise them to 'keep the machine moving', and take good care of them as best we can, then surely we reduce greatly the likelihood of things going wrong and give ourselves the most enjoyable environment to 'live' in. Think about it. Your body takes from the food you eat and the fluid you drink what it needs to keep going. If you do not feed it quality then how can it build with any quality? Yes, sometimes genetics and fate deals a blow, but isn't it worth trying to reduce your 'odds' of falling ill as best you can?

PHEW!

Gym Ninja certainly went off on one then, and all courtesy of a Farm Foods flyer! Ha ha. 'Farm' foods. How ironic! But you get the main thread of what is being said no? Everyone has lapses and everyone reaches for an easy option every now and then. We are humans and have commitments, time restraints, lazy moments etc. But you need to make sure you are eating healthily and sensibly for most of the time, so when that the small amount of time you do eat badly happens, it does no major harm.  You MUST take care of you. Your loved ones depend on you to take care of you. If you do not protect and nurture the very vessel in which you live, where the hell are you gonna live??????

Gym Ninja promises that her blog will not always be so heavy and serious. But you know what? If this gets just one of you thinking, and you then stop as you reach for the reconstituted chemical cack on offer in the Freezer Centre, then it's been worth it.

To finish...

'Man who eats many prunes get good run for money'

Until next time

Gym Ninja xxx