Saturday, 14 August 2010

Death Stare

Gym Ninja had a devil of a job to get into the 'Saturday Slaughter' mode today. Perhaps this was in some way related to the fact she'd managed to rack up all of 3 and a half hours of sleep before the alarm blared out?

Desperate times call for desperate measures. The usual Pre workout Diet Emerge Enegy drink may well fail, so for a back up, Gym Ninja scoffed a piece of the aptly named 'GoGo Guarana Buzz Gum'.  Now of you look at the link you will see it states it is 'fresh mint'. Gym Ninja would like to point out that the fresh mint flavour lasts all for 11 seconds, only to then be replaced by wet dog taste. However, persevere as it is indeed a non-jitter-inducing buzz.  At that, Gym Ninja went to the gym with her big wide bushbaby!

Heading in to the Spin Studio, GN was pleased to see that Dangly had saved her the usual bike. He nodded hello and then berated Gym Ninja for not attending last week.
Dangly KNEW Gym Ninja was training clients last weekend. Pfft!    Much chat the occurred, quite possibly due to  Buzz Gum. Gym Ninja is not kidding when she says it perks you up people!

Dangly was busy gossiping about last week's sessions & how he'd moved to 'The Dark Side' and sat with Team 1. Mouth the loud mouthed woman with the big....lungs... *ahem* is on Team 1. She welcomed him as per usual into the fold. Dangly loves how she won't come near when Gym Ninja is about, as if GN's invisible force field protects them, yet when GN is not about, Mouth is all over him like a rash.

"It's because she probably thinks you are Team Two leader" He Surmised.
"You're Gary Glitter!"

Gym Ninja then cracked open her Death Stare.

Gary Glitter.
That'd be the notorious pedophile leader of the gang yeh?

"He was a pedo" Pointed out Gym Ninja, the Death Stare boring a hole in between Dangly's eyes.

Dangly looked sheepish.
"Er, yeh ok point taken, bad choice of words..."

The lights went down, the music cranked up and off everyone went. Buzz Gum fuelled, Gym Ninja's legs went like the clappers. GoGo Ninja!

Now all get yourselves down to Holland & Barrett and stock up on this stuff, as GN had the best spin session in a long time. All on 3 and a half hours sleep too. Remarkable!  After the session Dangly insisted Gym Ninja walk a circuit of the indoor running track with him so he could continue his gossiping. After 10 minutes there was a..


Wow. How loud. Gym Ninja turned to see who was interrupting and lo and behold it was Lanky. Do you remember Lanky? Tall lanky guy (obviously the clue is in the name) who did the old 'I breathe through my ears *wink wink*' line?  Dangly curled his lip and stomped off.

"How ya doing matey? Not seen you for ages! How's the job?"

Gym Ninja explained about the firing (or fondant fancy as it was referred to if you recall?) & Lanky nodded his head sympathetically.

"Tell ya what I'd do!" He began, his eyes all big.

Hmm, maybe he too had tried Buzz Gum?

"When I was in Ibiza there was a yacht with the son of a Prince on it. Big fat guy he was, who's dad gave him £50k per month to spend. Every day there'd be 2 or 3 girls go on board. They'd stay, shag him and then the next day get paid £1500 each. Do THAT! That'd be great. You could retire in 5 years!"

At this, Lanky beamed.

Gym Ninja wondered if Lanky could hear the whirring sound of The Death Stare locking into the target? Nope. No, he didn't see it coming.

*fires Death Stare*

Making her excuses, Gym Ninja returned to the changing rooms, and spent a good 2 minutes trying to ram her key into the lock. After 2 minutes Gym Ninja concluded that her lock was actually the one 2 doors down, moved across and opened the correct locker. Turning around, Gym Ninja narrowly missed a Death Stare from a butch girl who was glaring at her. Ooops. Gym Ninja had been trying to open HER lock by accident!  Damned Buzz Gum was now confusing Gym Ninja. Time to quaff her Promax shake, hit the shower and make a swift exit....

Back here tomorrow Ninjarettes. No excuses (unless of course it is Gym Ninja making the excuse!). Sunday Slaughter Session is gonna be Buzz Gum Fuelled too!!!!!!

Gym Ninja