Tuesday, 7 September 2010

Busy Ninja

Gym Ninja has been a busy Ninja of late.  Meetings here and there and of course the essential Gym sessions. Heaven forbid that Gym Ninja become Chubby Ninja!
A few days ago, Gym Ninja had to hurtle across to a different city for a business meeting. 'Advice' would be given on how to source grants for the business, and then GN would be free to return to the place she loves the most. Failing the fact that she may not be able to get a last minute flight to Vegas,  Gym Ninja would instead then have to make do with the gym....

Gym Ninja decided that as the sun was shining she would 'girl it up' a bit for the meeting and donned a cute black dress. Heels were set at the standard 4" minimum heel height, perhaps not so practical for rail travel, yet Gym Ninja laughs in the face of public transport. Sauntering towards the train Gym Ninja passed a group of young lads, one of whom had his shirt off and was displaying what could only be likened to a pipe cleaner for a torso. Same colour too.

"Phwoah, she's well fit, I'd do her!" Snorted Pipe Cleaner Boy.

THIS Is why Gym Ninja does not do public transport. Generic ratings of hotness from random weedy men, plus no opportunity to point out that he would never get a chance to 'do' Gym Ninja.

Once at the venue for the meeting, Gym Ninja waited to be greeted. A short woman appeared from behind a door. Well, she was in a room behind the door, not just standing 'behind a door'. That'd just be weird.

"Oooh, I'm intimidated already!" Laughed the Small Woman, holding her hands up in mock terror as Gym Ninja walked towards her.

"You look lovely I mean!", She explained.

Pfft!  Gym Ninja must remember to never again wear the dress in public. It attracts too many random comments from strangers.  The meeting went well, apart from the  moment when Gym Ninja suggested that Small Woman may wish to hire her as her Personal Trainer? This time the pantomime hands of terror were genuine.  What did she think? That Gym Ninja would insist she drop and give her 20?  Gym Ninja would not do that. She'd start her on 10.

Later that evening Gym Ninja headed to the  gym (no last minute Vegas flights available). It would be GNs final decent gym session before she would be inked and so it needed to be a good one. Unfortunately the workout failed to start well as Gym Ninja had donned a new sports top and it was crushing Gym Ninja's 'Twins' with a vice like grip.

People take heed! Not all lycra has the same stretch factor! Some lycra tries to compress the breath out of you like a Boa Constrictor. 

So struggling to stay alive despite the best efforts of the killer lycra, Gym Ninja began her workout.

Well it wouldn't be a Ninja workout if the odd body folk didn't show up now would it?  Sure enough, Gym Ninja found herself swiftly checking through the window to double-check the Mother Ship wasn't hovering nearby? After all, what other explanation was there for such a mixed bag of faces at the gym today?????  No sign of a Mother Ship, so Gym Ninja checked the car park for corn circles just to be on the safe side (or tarmac circles as they would obviously be). Nope. Cannot possibly be an alien invasion after all........

Ignoring the woman with the overhanging browbone (Bride of Frankenstein)  Gym Ninja tried to get on with her workout. That was until......


Gym Ninja's eyes were bleeding! It was only HOT PANT COUGAR! An older woman who wears hot pants rather too 'hot'. Not only that, but she chooses to do her barbell Good Mornings in the middle of the gym, her 'business end' as it were, faced directly towards the men. That'd be the men with the wide eyes, gawping mouths and uncomfortable 'stance'.  Gym Ninja tried to look away, and yet the pull of Hot Pant Cougar was too much. Like a lycra clad black hole (ewww) it pulled anyone nearby towards it.


With great force, Gym Ninja managed to divert her eyes and look away, and just as she did so saw a poor innocent (well, not so much now) Teenager walking as if in a daze towards the direction of Hot Pant Cougar, his eyes wide, his walk unstable, his mouth slightly foaming. Oh no. This was NO time for Hot Pant Cougar to switch to the lying hamstring curl....

Luckily, Gym Ninja was swiftly distracted from the sight of Lamb To The Slaughter (the teen) being drawn towards the black hole that is Hot Pant Cougar, by a guy in a Rooney Shirt.


Right at this exact moment in time you want to walk around in a Rooney shirt huh? Now Gym Ninja had horrid thoughts of recent events in her mind, Quick...where was the Bride of Frankenstein when you needed a distraction eh????

Gym Ninja x