Monday, 13 September 2010

Cuddly Toysville Ninja

Gym Ninja plans on cobbling together a gym-based blog post today. Out of nowhere. LUCKY you.

Well, as you all know, Gym Ninja has been resting up, or 'De-Loading' (which is what a period of planned rest from the gym/fitness regime is called) for about a week. It can be hard to do when you love training, yet there are many benefits (not just those related to tattoo healing!). You come back well rested and this in turn allows the body to go on to become stronger, leaner, faster, or whatever it is your particular goals may be? Sounds wonderful to a non-addict. Rest up and don't exercise and you get fitter? Well, yes, but you need to be in a regular routine in order to see a benefit. Those Couch Potatoes aren't just biding their time until the Olympics you know!

However a downside is that if you, like Gym Ninja, are an endorphin junkie and miss the high, post workout, or if you, like Gym Ninja, use the gym as a way of releasing stress, then you really DO get cranky when you cannot train. Gym Ninja's last workout had been Monday of last week. By Sunday Gym Ninja was bouncing off the the point where enough was enough. It was time to work out a way of getting some cardio in that wouldn't affect the tattoo healing yet would save millions of innocent yet annoying people from the wrath of a non-training Ninja.  What did Gym Ninja come up with?  Skipping. Or Jump Rope to you Yanks.  Yep, if Gym Ninja did some skipping in the privacy of her own home, this would mean she would merrily box off a cardio session sans workout wear. The lycra would rub on the tattoo you Sunday, that HOLY day of the week, saw Gym Ninja in nowt but her underwear skipping for 30 minutes in her lounge.


Despite curdling all of your brains with that image, the PLUS side was that Gym Ninja got her endorphin hit. So today, Monday, saw another sneaky workout but this time for the upper body. Weights! Mmmm, how Gym Ninja loves her weight training.........

But what did Gym Ninja see when she went to the gym? Dear GOD! Has it become some sort of child play area since she was here last? Now at the gym Gym Ninja trains at, are lockers that you use with your own padlock. All of the lockers are individually numbered. Not that you need bother to memorise the number as usually you kind of DO recall the area you stuffed your clothes in. Occasionally you may stuff your key into someone elses lock, but you're usually only 1 or 2 doors down from the right one. So WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY do people need to have something like THIS attached to their padlock????

So an individually numbered locker isn't enough for you? You actually require a toy dog hanging off your padlock in order to remember where your clothes are? Your memory is THAT bad? 

Gym Ninja turned away and went to another area of the changing rooms. Somewhere a little less 'childish'.  


SERIOUSLY? What the hell is this? 
A horrid evil looking floppy butterfly? Who'd even WANT other people to know that this was your locker and floppy butterfly? Look at it's freaky antenna. Euurh. It was no good, Gym Ninja couldn't get changed here. This is worse than the dog. Right, there's no other thing for the far side of the locker room.....

As Gym Ninja rounded the corner, the sight that filled her eyes was hideous.... Not content with a toy dog. NOT content with a floppy butterfly. Some gym user had gone one stage further in the memory-nudging locker technique.....THIS ladies & gentleman, met Gym Ninja's eyes.....

WHERE The HELL do you even BUY one of these? Who buys an ET keyring? WHO buys ET wearing a hoodie??????????????????? Is this some sort of sick joke? 

Gym Ninja almost had her workout ruined because of Cuddly Toysville.  Had Gym Ninja not partaken in semi-naked jump rope the day before then quite possibly lives would have been lost.  People. GET A GRIP! Memorise the number of your locker. It's not hard.  if you don't then Gym Ninja will personally go out and buy identical toys and hang them on the lock a few doors away from yours. THEN what use is it? Huh? You go back to the changing rom and there are 17 ETs all in a row. Buggered! Now GET BACK to remembering the number and dispense with these silly silly things.


Needless to say, the gym session went well as GN had much anger to vent thanks to Cuddly Toysville. Basic compound moves and a few isolation moves to finish with and Gym Ninja was rewarded with quite a good post-workout pump. Good stuff!

So, there is your cobbled together gym based blog post. There would have been more to the actual workout part yet Gym Ninja was too enraged with the kerings to remember what else had occurred. Hmmm, wait. Maybe these things ARE useful as a memory aid? Gym Ninja could hang them off every person she wanted to blog about......?

Right, enough is enough of this silly blog post today. Get back here tomorrow. There may well be a piece on motivation and hot buttons if you're good.....

Toodle pip

Gym Ninja x