Sunday, 12 September 2010

Tattoo Ninja

Dear GOD!
Another non-gym blog post in the Gym Blog.  If this is tiresome for you Ninjarettes then merely log out quickly and check back for the next post when it's up as that may well be a meaty gym blog of correct gym-related observations. However if you are, as Gym Ninja assumes you to be, a tad nosy/bored/too lazy to close the window, then carry on reading...........

So.........  Gym Ninja was tattooed on Tuesday.  Of course Gym Ninja has already twice before been doodled upon by a Tattoo Artist, and as this third tattoo is technically a 'bolt on' to what she already has, does it mean it is in fact 2b?  OK, let us call it Tattoo 2b.  It was a year almost to the day part 2a was completed and Gym Ninja always wanted to add to it. Every now & then she'd mull over what to do and then get distracted by a nice cup of tea/shoes/disaster....yet for some reason last week, Gym Ninja found herself wandering into the Tattoo Emporium, having a bit of a consultation with Mr Tattoo, and then oopsie, found herself booked into a cancellation slot for 3 days later.  Golly!

Now a downside of being tattooed is the time off training. For a gym junkie such as Gym Ninja, this is most traumatic part and is also why you are now suffering from not having a gym blog post. Sweat is pushing out toxins from the body and as the tattoo is in fact a wound until healed, you do not want to go flooding the area with toxins until it is healed. After it is healed? Hell yeh, go cockahoop with your toxin floods. So Gym Ninja carefully constructed a workout programme  to follow over the next week or so that will allow some work (such as abs and upper body) yet avoid the lower body and cardio (the lower body being avoided as this is where the tattoo resides). Again it's best not to overtly work/stretch/have clothing such as lycra rub on the tattoo whilst it is in it's healing period for fear of knocking off the scab and taking with it some of the design.

Enjoying the scab/sweat talk so far? Betcha glad you decided to read on? OK, deep breath and carry on.

1pm was soon to come around and in trotted Gym Ninja for her 2 hour slot. Mr Tattoo Man had already drawn up the part of the additional design that was to be 'Tattoo 2b', and once that was positioned, he went a tad 'creative' with his special marker pen, to freehand the rest of the design so it would all tie in. At this point is was fair to say Gym Ninja felt a bit like a notepad next to the telephone that you doodle on?

"Would you mind if I take a snap of the ink & tattoo needle before you begin?" Asked Gym Ninja, her cute face in place.

Mr Tattoo Man looked unimpressed and scowled a bit as Gym Ninja leaned over and took a snap.  Dear GOD. Do not p*ss off your tattooist before he starts. BAD idea! Anyhow, here it is. Looks like a kids painting area!

Originally when Tattoo 2a was inked a year ago, Gym Ninja had wondered if it was a tad too large? Now here she was, doubling the size of it. Greedy Gym Ninja!  But the design looked great so Gym Ninja took up her position on the tattoo bed, iPhone glued into her hand, and waited for him to begin.

Bless Mr Tattoo Man for having to get that close to Gym Ninja's semi naked body and make small talk at the same time. However Gym Ninja was delighted to see that, 12 months on from her last visit, Mr Tattoo Man had seen the light and become one of the Apple Elite. Yes, he too now owned an iPhone. SPLENDID! Thus followed some App swapping whilst Mr Tattoo Man tore into Gym Ninja's flesh with his needle.
OK, so maybe not 'tore into'....
Gym Ninja is being dramatic for the readers enjoyment. Tattoos are friendly gentle things that merely dance across the body, scattering their inky deposits TO THE BONE!  OK OK,so no, not really to the bone. There is that drama again. Gym Ninja enjoys the tattooing experience to be fair and if it hadn't been for Mr Tattoo Man holding Gym Ninja in conversation as he inked her skin then she'd most likely have fallen asleep. This is the thing with Gym Ninja. Put her in a lying position and she'll most likely fall asleep within 3 minutes unless you speak to her.

It was quite interesting to swap App suggestions with a Tattoo Artist. Would this be the day that Mr Tattoo Man was to learn about 'Talking Carl'? the App that repeats what you say in a cartoon voice? Er....nope. Maybe not. Laughing Tattoo Artists are not desirable when they are in the middle of inking an outline. However Gym Ninja did share TV Catch Up and WhatsApp with Mr Tattoo Man and he returned the favour by showing her a free movie site to view on the iPhone, plus an App that allowed him to link his guitar through his phone like an amp.


After the App swapping session, Gym Ninja decided to ask Mr Tattoo Man some probing tattoo-related questions, and examples of a few of these are below.

GN: "So, do you prefer the outline bit or colouring in bit the most?"

Mr Tattoo Man: "You make it sound like crayons!"

GN: "Bet you hate it when people want a horse tattoo as they are SO hard to draw?"

Mr Tattoo Man: "Er, I had to do a tattoo of a horses face recently. It turned out OK".

GN: "Do you ever feel like tattooing in a hidden message on football club tattoos?"

Mr Tattoo Man:  "No, not unless I want to be a the bottom of a river wearing concrete boots!"

Gym Ninja learned a lot that day.  It's always interesting meeting people like Mr Tattoo Man, as he also deals with the public day in day out, & shares similar characteristics to Gym Ninja when it comes to 'debriefing' at the end of the day, so to speak.  The thing with meeting people every hour of the day and adapting your small talk to suit the person, is that it can be very tiring mentally. So when you get home, all you wan to do is close the door and not talk to anyone.  Turns out Mr Tattoo Man is also a kindred spirit when it comes to not answering the front door if you're not expecting anyone! After all, if you've not invited them then there cannot possibly be any requirement for them to be at your door huh?

After about 2 hours, Gym Ninja's new tattoo was complete.  There was a bit of an awkward moment when Mr Tattoo Man, roll of cling film in hand, couldn't quite figure out how he would wrap up the area, but with some assistance from Gym Ninja and a bit of apologising from Mr Tattoo Man for 'manhandling' Gym Ninja, the area was covered and 'aftercare' instructions doled out.

So now Gym Ninja is allowing the tattoo to heal. At the point of posting this blog, it is technically Day 6 (if you count the actual day) and bits of skin are flaking off (in the colours inked which is rather pretty) and the tattoo is healing nicely. All the same, Gym Ninja is erring on the side of caution and has only just done some cardio today in the form of 30 mins jump rope (well, Gym Ninja maybe should wait a bit longer, however was going insane without her endorphins).  How do people NOT exercise? They must feel lousy!

OK, non-gym post complete. Now be off with you all. Just because Gym Ninja isn't at 100% workout intensity that's no reason for you all to slack off now is it? ;)

Gym Ninja x