Saturday, 18 September 2010

Ninja cats & floor mats

Hello Ninjarettes.

Busy week? Lots of gym session though huh? DO say yes. Gym Ninja will be terribly disappointed if you are all just sitting in front of the 'puter eating biscuits and growing chubby.

Today Gym Ninja again skipped her usually Saturday Slaughter Session. But this will be the last time as the tattoo (aka Sistene Chapel) is almost done with healing. So it'll be back on it as of next week full force and then some! Hopefully the 2 weeks of pared down almost non-existent workouts will have kick started Gym Ninja's body into a new growth spurt? Uhh. Horrid word spurt.  But you know what GN means.

Having woken early courtesy of a Ninja cat taking a short cut across GN's torso, Gym Ninja decided to do something a little different. Pre-breakfast cardio. Some are  great believers in this, others not so. Gym Ninja falls into the latter camp. The body has been in a state of catabolism overnight so to ask it to perform at a decent level & not expect some damage to the muscle tissue as the body rips into it for fuel is inevitable. However, having popped some insurance policy pills (BCAAs) Gym Ninja thought she'd try it. Just this once mind!

Thus followed 30 mins of indoor jump rope. Now Gym Ninja's cats take a great interest in any house-based exercise Gym Ninja partakes in. Floor work is seen as an invitation to come close and curl up in the most inconvenient place. Skipping is viewed from afar (usually through the gap in the bannisters). All done with a feline look of derision. Today Gym Ninja decided to watch some TV whilst working out. Luckily the World Rally Championships was on, so that distracted GN enough to forget that the Ninja cats were shooting her bemused looks (until one took a casual stroll in front of Gym Ninja, throwing a 'FFS' look over his furry shoulder as he did so).

With the cardio complete, Gym Ninja feasted (after a fashion) on mushroom and egg white omelettes with a smattering of coconut oil, before showering, getting dressed and then...heading to the gym! Old habits die hard.  Once at the gym, it was time to get down to business (well, no not THAT), and hit the free weights. Upper Body Day!!!!

Gym Ninja was getting along quite nicely with her workout and so far had suffered few distractions when a girl decided to take a mat, and plonk it in the path of the fixed cable machine. Now Gym Ninja was setting the cable up to do lateral raises for her side delts yet the girl, unaware of anything other than her need to lie flat on the floor and flail around a bit, decided that the rest of the vacant floor space would not be adequate, and instead chose Gym Ninja's piece of floor.


Apart from being immensely annoying and discourteous, lying in the immediate area of someone using weights is a health & safety risk people! There are plenty of areas in every gym in which to do floor work. Never think it is a good idea to lie on the floor where someone can drop a dumbbell or barbell on your head. Even if you do not get injured, you may inadvertently trip someone up who is carrying weights. One final rant: when lying on the floor in the gym, be doing so for a REASON! There is NO SUCH THING as 'sleepy time' in the gym, ok?

Also causing distraction were two girls who decided to face each other and copy each exercise. Portable Mirrors (albeit with a slight size discrepancy).  Once they had finished mimicking  each other they sat on the floor (GET OFF THE GODDAM FLOOR EVERYONE) and sat SO close they were virtually intertwined. How very odd. Gym Ninja checked to see if a stray limb was conjoined to the other girl in some way? Surely this is the only explanation for such closeness? Any other explanation needs taking out of the gym and straight home please!

The final distraction was a portly lady who was sauntering on the treadmill. When you use a treadmill you switch it on and it begins at a snails pace, yes? Well this was the speed selected by Portly lady, and she was holding on to the rail too.  Oh dear. Perhaps Portly Lady had read somewhere about the 'fat burning zone'? The zone of lower intensity that burns more fat as fuel? Well yes, in a way it does, however the faster you move the more calories you burn, and a calorie is a calorie when it comes to creating a deficit and reducing body fat.  If Portly lady hoped to do some serious damage to her fat cells at that speed then she'd be needing to saunter to the moon and back to burn off any decent amount.  Just to recap...if you are walking on a treadmill slower than you would around Tesco then you are WASTING YOUR TIME. It is not a magical piece of equipment. It doesn't incinerate fat just because you pootle on the belt for 20 minutes holding on.  This also follows regarding weight training. If you have been training with weights for a fair amount of time and yet have seen no discernible change in your body composition and shape, then you are doing something wrong ok? Whether it is your technique, intensity, choice of exercise, rest/sleep or what happens in the kitchen at home, you need to find out what's not working and fix it. There is no reason why you cannot have the physique you aspire to have if you work hard, get the basics right and watch your diet.  Yes, work hard. Nothing worth having ever came easy, but then knowing you have achieved what you set out to achieve despite the hard work is a feeling you need to experience, as it's sensational!

Right. Gym Ninja needs to go now. Stuff to do. On a lighter note, GN discovered that she has been short-listed for a Fitness Model competition she entered in the summer. Surprising yet very welcome news. Gym Ninja plans to set herself some serious physique goals next year with a view to competing, so news like this has given Gym Ninja and added push in the right direction.  Now off you all pop and go set yourself some've gotta be in it to win it as they say... ;-)

Gym Ninja x