Wednesday, 15 September 2010


Hmm, somebody or something sabotaged Gym Ninja today.  Not sure why, or when they did it, yet it became apparent that something was going on as the gym session today wore on....

Firstly, Gym Ninja nearly didn't make it to today. No, for last night a spider the size of a rhino thundered across the floor, towards the zebra print rug (& Hamish the cat), stopping dead, one leg on the rug, 7 legs on the tiled floor when Gym Ninja started to move (in panic).

*Mexican Spider Stand Off*

Now what? Would Hamish leap into action & wrestle the rhino spider to the floor, chewing off it's legs one by one leaving a currant sized dot?

No. Hamish would join in with the Mexican Spider Stand Off. Everyone/thing was still. So Gym Ninja started to walk towards the rhino spider, only for it to dart away towards the sofa (at this point Hamish had shown an interest), before back tracking and scurrying under the coffee table. Hamish decided this may be fun to follow, and did simply that, keeping a 'safe 'distance. Great. The rhino spider then scuttled back from under the table, and towards the hallway door. Hamish, again, trotted behind it, creating some sort of spidercat trial akin to sheepdog trials.  Uhhhr! Why no kill?  In the end, Gym Ninja, bored of this game and not wanting rhino spider to disappear, grow bigger and strangle Gym Ninja in her sleep, trod on it.

THERE! A rhino spider sized splat on the floor. Job done.

Braving the weather Gym Ninja headed to the gym. On route she received a text from a client who had trained two days earlier with GN. It had rude words in it about leg soreness. Aww, how terribly rewarding it is training clients? Marvelous stuff. With a smile on her face, Gym Ninja went to get changed ready for some low intensity cardio (tattoo still not quite healed) & some upper body work.

Annoyingly, there are women out there who see the A frame (the A shaped rack where the dumbbells are stored) as a friend. They do not wish to move too far away from The A Frame for fear of losing the friendship of the A Frame, or indeed buckling under the weight of a 2kg dumbbell & not having the strength to make it back to the rack. Therefore they select their cotton bud sized dumbbells and then move 3cm away from The A Frame, before performing a few bad lateral raises/biceps cursl/general comedy swings. Now the problem with this is that Gym Ninja needs to gain access to The A Frame herself. This becomes nigh impossible if a few of you have congregated around it and are flinging weights about. This happened today and caused Gym Ninja much annoyance.

As the workout progressed, Gym Ninja was struck by that horrid feeling again. The pinging sensation from a few blog posts ago?


Aka Sports Bra Suicide.  Yep, the rascal had given up the ghost and pinged a strap. Mid chest workout too! hindsight maybe this was in some way linked to the area Gym Ninja was working? However surely they are made of sterner stuff? So now what? Carry on, without correct support and feeling a bit 'wrong'? Uuuh, no. So with that Gym Ninja had to return to the changing rooms and do a rudimentary repair job. With The Twins firmly restrained, it was then back up to the gym to continue with the weights session.   Within 10 minutes...PING!


This time it was the other strap committing suicide. Now who (or what) had meddled with Gym Ninja's clothing? This is surely not normal behaviour? Hmm, can rhino spiders do stuff like this? Are they known for their dextrous legs? Had a relative of the now splatted rhino spider sneaked into Gym Ninja's sports bag and started meddling with the stitching as an act of revenge? Pffft!

Gym Ninja, now realising how fruitless another repair job would be, had to then struggle through the rest of the session incorrectly restrained!  This just wasn't respectable!

Once finished, Gym Ninja gathered her locker key and sweat towel and headed back out of the gym area, passing a wall smeared in orange stripes. Ahh, the Fake Tan Stretching Wall.  You'd think someone would get a cloth and clean it once in a while huh?

Gym Ninja walked to her locker, grabbed the lanyard that her key was attached to and....


Where the HELL was the key??????  NOW what had that Goddam spider done? Gnawed through the metal so that the key would slip off? Gym  Ninja hoped she wasn't now being haunted by the ghost of rhino spider? So, with The Twins loose (so to speak) Gym Ninja had to then re-trace her steps. Twice GN did this before eventually finding the key in the changing rooms! Uhhr!

On route from the changing rooms, Gym Ninja was hollared by a woman who had asked GN about her protein quaffing a few weeks ago. The woman had been interested as to why GN was drinking it as it was something she said her sons drank, and would it help her gain some muscle definition if she drank it? At the time, Gym Ninja had given the woman a crash course in protein supplementation and recommended Maximuscle (as this is GN's beverage of choice!).   Anyhow, the woman came over to Gym Ninja...

"I went to buy some of that protein the other day" She said. "I went to a small shop locally and explained to the old guy there what I wanted and he said it wasn't for me". 

At this, the woman looked forlorn. 

"Really? Why on earth did he say that?" Questioned Gym Ninja, astonished. Surely in this day and age guys don't still think girls can't take protein supplements? 

"He said it would make me fat and that it would make me bigger and not help me!"  

OMG. Well it appears that there still ARE indeed some misinformed people out there.  So with that, Gym Ninja explained that the Promax protein she'd recommended was low calorie and low carb and that it would support lean muscle growth and not make her fat. Yes perhaps some cheaper less effective brands loaded with sugar and high in calories may add weight, but not in this case. So Gym Ninja made the woman promise to bypass the store and instead go and buy some from Tesco instead. The woman nodded and off she went. 

So just to remind any new readers out there, protein alone won't turn you into some sort of musclebound man/woman. You only need to look around your gym to notice how few of those exist! But what it will do is give your body the fuel and nutrients it needs to repair post-workout, and by repairing it can then reshape and grow stronger.  When choosing a brand, each to their own. Gym Ninja pays extra (when compared to a lot of the brands out there) to use Maximuscle as this is the brand she has seen greatest improvements using herself and it tastes pretty amazing too.  Remember like everything in life, you get what you pay for. Send off for samples if a supplement company offer them and see what you like? There's no point saving money by buying a cheaper brand it if tastes like dishwater and you won't drink it. On the flip side, tasting great isn't always an indicator of a quality supplement, so do your research, compare ingredients and choose what's best for you. As a general and sweeping statement, go for the well-known brands such as Maximuscle, CNP, MuscleTech, PhD, EAS etc, and avoid cheap and cheerful makes like 'Holland & Barrett' or 'Body Fortress'. 

There you go. You all just got the woman's rapid protein lesson too! 

On that note, Gym Ninja shall leave you all to it and allow you to all begin your homework of googling various supplement brands and doing your own product comparison.

Toodle pip!
Gym Ninja (& the ghost of rhino spider) x