Thursday, 28 October 2010

Bimbo Ninja

Gym Ninja can be a total idiot at times. Take today. Today Gym Ninja ran late (yet AGAIN) to visit the house of her client. It was too cold for beach training & Gym Ninja wanted to do some BOSU work with her anyway.  A BOSU is a half of a stability ball. Gym Ninja has called her BOSU 'Dave'.  Cleints can call the BOSU Dave unless they are being lazy or are new and then they need to call it 'Mr BOSU'.

So, with Dave in the car on the passenger seat and the other equipment for training in the boot, Gym Ninja hurtled off to try and reach her 10am lady. By 9.58am Gym Ninja had made it! 


Gym Ninja parked outside, behind a silver Golf GTI and grabbed Dave. Getting out of the car, Gym Ninja simultaneously dragged the BOSU across the middle of the car towards the drivers door to bring it out with her. Then Dave snagged. He stopped moving. Gym Ninja was now stood beside her car, her left hand tugging at Dave (if you pardon the horrid image that is now in your mind, you dirty Ninjarettes you!)  But what was this? The car was MOVING! Moving towards the car in front and Gym Ninja could not stop it!

Ever so slowly, yet gaining momentum, Gym Ninja's car was rolling quietly towards the Silver Golf.  Gym Ninja wa snow panicking.


Dave the BOSU had ONLY gone and released the handbrake as he passed over it & now the car was in danger of smashing into the back of the other one.

GymNinja was in a pickle!

With her left hand still grasping Dave and standing outside the car, she desperately hauled on the drivers door that was still open with her right hand,  feet planted on the ground and leaning backwards trying to hold the car back. At the same time, Gym Ninja needed to get back INTO the car to slam on the brake pedal as Dave was going nowhere and was quite happily squashing the handbrake. Meanwhile, the Golf GTI got nearer and nearer to the front of Gym Ninja's car!

Diving into the driving seat, Gym Ninja just about managed to slam on the brakes with a millimeter gap to spare. All the time, her left hand was still clutching Dave.  PHEW!!!!!!!!

Gym Ninja secured the car and unloaded what she needed cautiously. Thank Goodness nobody saw. That was until Gym Ninja turned around and noticed her 10am Client stood on her doorstep emptying sand from her trainers from yesterday's beach session. 


"Wow you ARE strong holding the car back!" Shouted The Client. "I thought you were going to smash right into it then...!"

Gee thanks........

Gym Ninja was obviously devoid of all common sense today. After a pit stop at her own gym for a quick extra cardio session where Gym Ninja marvelled at the girl on the treadmill with a large saucer sized faux flower in her hair (and teamed with a baggy old t shirt and leggings too!)  Gym Ninja headed home.

A few hours later there was a knock at  Gym Ninja's door.


Gym Ninja has a strict door policy. If you knock and Gym Ninja is not expecting anyone, then it is unlikely you will get let in. If you have not been invited then Gym Ninja HAS no need for you to be at her home. Understand? Good. However someone did NOT understand and again knocked at the front door.

Uhh. REALLY? What is the point of Gym Ninja disconnecting her doorbell to prevent unwanted guests if they will insist on losing their self respect and knocking?  There was nothing for it but for GN to head downstairs and see who had a death wish.

Gym NInja opened the door. There stood two men with shiny faces and a Red Cross Logo on their shirts.

"Hi. We're from The Red Cross" Said Shiny Man 1. 
At this, he pointed to his Red Cross.


"We're here to talk about charity donations".

Well there's a shocker huh?

Gym Ninja explained that she already donated to many charities via Direct Debit.

AT this, SHiny Man 2 piped up.

"Actually we're here to get people to take part in a charity bungee jump at the end of the month. Are you interested in it?"

His Shiny face broke into a shiny smile.

Gym Ninja stared back. 

"You've GOT to be joking!" GN replied, her eyes widening!  "Seriously what is this? Door to door death wish?"

Shiny Man 1 stared back.

"Yeh, we ARE joking silly! Just pop a 50p in a collection tin next time you see one eh? Have a good evening"

And with that, they turned around and left. 

AHHHR! Tricksters! Gym Ninja is truly a bimbo!