Wednesday 23 June 2010

Hydro Ninja

It's a bit hot eh?

Gym Ninja isn't a fan of the heat....nor the cold...nor the wind...nor the rain (unless it is that big fat smelly thundery rain that falls in huge blobs-that's fantastic rain!)...no pleasing some Ninja's is there?

Anyhow, Gym Ninja had packed herself off to the gym both yesterday and today, as she is on an Abtastic Mission...the Mission to actually train her abs.

Not occasionally as per usual, all 'hit and miss', but at least 3 times each week. 1 week in and the old abs are responding well. Extremely well actually! Done at the end of the workout just before cool down stretches, so as not to fatigue the core and affect stability and protection of the lower back during other lifts. See? Another fantabulous (!) tip from Gym Ninja for you all. Abs last Ninjarettes!

Of course the rest of the body is getting worked into the ground too. Gym Ninja is going to become very busy shortly with a business opportunity so wants to make the most of this time she has. Lots of compound work, lifting heavy, pressing heavy, working until the muscles pack in and give up. A bit like yesterday when, part way through Matrix Training (or 21s as they are often more commonly known), Gym Ninja's arms simply packed in!  Great stuff!

Today Gym Ninja headed to the gym bang on when the England match was televised. It'd be mega quiet surely? Loads of space to float around and chuck some weight on the leg press. Perfect.

Surprisingly, there were quite a few people training who'd obviously thought the same as Gym Ninja. Damn! Of course, any piece of cardio facing a TV was already taken by a guy who was quite possibly about to attempt more cardio than he ever had done in his life! Gym Ninja was going to attempt some herself, yet the moment she went inside the gym, the heat was as great as the centre of the sun, therefore sapping her of all energy.

TURN THE AIRCON UP!!!!!!!!!!

Instead, Gym Ninja hit legs. The Leg Press was roughly near a TV so Gym Ninja did see the goal when it was scored. Not that seeing was a necessity. The male chorus of...

"HUUUUUUUUR"

That echoed across the two floor gym was enough to tell Gym Ninja that England had scored.  Oh that and every groan when there was a near miss too.

To be truthful, Gym Ninja managed a lack lustre effort. She was too busy deciding if TODAY would be the Hydropool day? After all, a quiet gym would mean less furry teddies in the whirly old pool eh?
Would she?
Wouldn't she?
Hmmm.....

In the end, Gym Ninja got SO hot at the suns core, which by now had relocated inside the gym, that she decided to give it a go.  With trepidation Gym Ninja changed into one of her more 'substantial' bikinis. Aka 'a normal one'...

Gym Ninja headed towards the door.....the door to the pool side. A door Gym Ninja had never been through before thanks to her water phobia. It was all very  nerve wracking...

Once through the magic door, Gym Ninja spied the huge big whirl pool. It was as calm as glass....IS glass calm? You know what Gym Ninja means!

Anyhow, nobody was in it either! RESULT!

Gym Ninja walked to the edge, grabbed the rail and stepped in.

HOLY COW!

HOW deep is it?

Gym Ninja does not like water that reaches her chest (and Gym Ninja's chest sits realllll high kids!)

Uh oh. Too late now. Gym Ninja grasped the edge of the pool with her hands, knuckles turning white, and slowly edged along to a side part, before stopping and clinging to the edge.

Hmm.

T'was a tad hot.
Gym Ninja had hoped it'd be cool.

2 minutes later two large guys flobbered into the Hydropool and took up residence at the other side. They sat there, almost intertwined and chatted.

Gym Ninja felt 'in the way' but wanted to stay until the waters did their Lourdes type thing and bubbled up.
The waters remained calm.
For ages.

COME ON WATER!

Gym Ninja, by now, was bored.
Then, Gym Ninja saw it.......

A white box, on the side of the Hydropool.
A few of them, scattered across the side.
A white box with a big red button on it.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Shall Gym Ninja press it?
Gym Ninja feels she wants to.
What if it isn't the button to activate the jets?
What if it is a big red panic siren?

Now Gym Ninja was staring at the red button, her finger edging closer. AHHHHR!
A few times she went to press it, looked around and then pulled away.
Eventually though....eventually, Gym Ninja pressed the big red button....

*press*

.......
......

Nothing!

Oh.

So Gym Ninja edged towards another one.

*press*

Nothing!

*press press press*

Oh rubbish.

So Gym Ninja remained in the flat water. Boooooooorrrrrring!

After another few minutes a big hairy bearded man climbed in, waded past Gym Ninja, pressed the big red button and suddenly .....

*bubblybubblybubblybubble*

The water!  T'was like Lourdes!
WTF?

How come Gym Ninja pressing the button hadn't worked?
Pah!

As Gym Ninja moved in the water, she managed to mainline a bubble jet right on the sole of her foot, that nearly had GN pinned to the ceiling she's that ticklish!
Moving quickly out of the jet with her right foot, her left foot found it...
AHHHHHHRRRRRRR!

How is this relaxing again? It's tickling Gym Ninja half to death!

So, remaining in the bubbles for a further 10 minutes, Gym Ninja then decided to wade back out of the Hydropool, having survived without drowning!

It wasn't until Gym Ninja returned to her locker she realised...she'd not brought a towel!

AHHHR!
Idiot!
So now GN had to towel herself dry using her slither of a gym sweat towel, before rolling on her tight jeans that were doing that trick of detecting slightly damp skin and sticking to it.....

Great.

Maybe next time, Gym Ninja may have a more successful Hydropool session?
Assuming England play again during her workout that is......

Gym Ninja x