Sunday, 27 June 2010

Weirdo Magnet

OK, so Gym Ninja started the blog a few days ago and then forgot to finish it off, so you get a 'back in time' blog today.

Gym Ninja had no intention of hitting the gym today (that'd be, oooh, say Thursday by now?). None whatsoever.  A day off was planned, plus stuff needed to be done around the house.  However, as the day progressed, circumstances meant that Gym Ninja would have no choice but to head to the gym to sweat out her mood....

Earlier on Thursday Gym Ninja had nipped to the local shops to pick up some essentials.  Whilst browsing and listening to her iPod, she was aware of someone hovering nearby. That's hovering and not hoovering for those who speed read....

Continuing her mooch, Gym Ninja moved to another aisle.  Again, she was aware of the figure moving nearby....

"Excuse me?" Said a voice faintly as Gym Ninja's music blared out.

Gym Ninja popped an earphone from her ear and looked at the man. A short man, with glasses and a pot belly.

"Hi. It's you isn't it?" 

Gym Ninja stared at the man. Oh God, Gym Ninja is really bad at recognising people! 

"We worked together. It's me!" Continued the guy, pointing at himself.

Oh dear GOD! Who was it? 

Gym Ninja did her best stalling for time face and smiled and pointed at him whilst saying, 'Oh"

The guy smiled.
"It's Paula isn't it!"

No. No it is not! Paula is NOT Gym Ninja's name. This guy had the wrong person!

Gym Ninja shook her head.
"No, I'm not Paula! You've got the wrong person!"

The man stared at GN.

"No, we worked together! We did. At the Citizens Advice Bureau?"
The man was now staring hard at Gym Ninja.
"It's ME" He finished....

Oh great. Now Gym Ninja was rocking the Citizens Advice Bureau worker look?

"No, I'm sorry I never worked there. I'm not Paula. You're mistaking me for someone else"

The man looked glum, and yet still stood there, whilst Gym Ninja was half turning to walk off.

"Where do you work then?"
Oh God, please!!!!!

"At a gym" Replied Gym Ninja.

"Can you do anything for this then eh? I could do with a gym membership!!" He said as he grasped his belly with both hands.

Gym Ninja quickly shook her head and explained he'd need to speak to membership about joining, before going to walk off again.

"Take this!" Said the man suddenly. Gym Ninja looked down (ooer) and he had a small card in his hand which he was thrusting at her. 

"Er...what is it? Asked Gym Ninja, extremely nervously.

"Do you like electronic music?" he continued, his hand still proffering the card to GN. 

"Ahhh, ahh, no I don't. Sorry about that. I"
Well, Gym Ninja really didn't want to say anything that encouraged the man nor take the weird card he had in his hand. 

Again, the man looked glum. 
"Oh..." He said.

Phew. That was hard work...time to move away and....
He spoke again.

"Do you want to go out sometime?" He asked.... "With me?"

*cue embarrassing silence and mild sense of rising panic as Gym Ninja realised this man was not going to let her walk away from him any time soon*

"I have a boyfriend" Lied Gym Ninja.

"No I don't! I don't have a boyfriend" Retorted the man.


Gym Ninja then explained she meant herself.
The man started back with a slight look of suspicion on his face,

"Do you?" Really? What, YOU have a boyfriend?"

See, by now Gym Ninja was kind of feeling defensive about this. Why did the strange man feel it was so incredulous that she may be taken? 

Eventually Gym Ninja escaped, and did that 'walk fast and do not look behind you' thing you do when trying not to look as if you are panicking when really you are. Of course now she was all jittery, so had to send herself to the gym to dissipate the feelings *shudder*

Gym Ninja pulled into the car park at the gym and turned the engine off. Just as she was about to get out, a person pulled up next to her really close to the door.
Great. Loads of room and you need to park there? Two seconds later, a car parks the other side. Now this is something that has been happening a lot. Wherever Gym Ninja parks, people suddenly rush to park next to her or rush back to their already parked cars to open doors thus stopping Gym Ninja leaving her car and sweating like a dehydrated dog shut in a car in the sun. Must be the Weirdo Magnet kicking in again? Great.

As Gym Ninja walked into the gym the heat hit her in the face. How can it be hotter inside an  airconditioned gym than it is outside? Now Gym Ninja felt listless. Gym Ninja is baaaad at working out when it is hot. How those guys who insist on training whilst all zipped up in 4 layers of hoodie are beyond her?  Despite the heat there was still at least 2 of those guys sweating hard on the cross trainers....

However, once at the gym one may as well put in the effort, so Gym Ninja decided an interval run followed by about 15 mins of ab work and stretching would suffice. Positioning herself in front of a treadmill displaying Wimbledon, off she ran.

Now whether it was simply a release of the adrenalin from attracting the weird man earlier, or the fact that Wimbledon now shows slow motion close ups of the male players muscles contracting and lengthening in great displays of power which is always incredibly appealing to watch, Gym Ninja found the run to be effortless, despite the heat.   The ab session that followed also flowed seamlessly, albeit fairly tough. Gym Ninja's new ab regime is really starting to work, and you know how seeing results can spur on a girl eh? 

Stretching to cool down, Gym Ninja finished off the session with a choc mint Maximuscle Promax shake. if you've not tried the flavour yet then summer is really the best time to, as although the mint isn't very strong, it gives a nice coolness to the flavour. Their official Maximuscle website is also hosting some 'buy two get a discount' offer on a range of products too, and the Promax saves you about £19 if you buy two tubs (plus if you really hate the favour you can send it back for a refund or exchange). 

See? Just goes to show how a Weirdo Magnet on a day when you least feel like training can produce a remarkably effective workout! 

OK, Gym Ninja is logging off for now. She will half-promise a more regular blogging frequency asap (although this weather doesn't help now does it??)

Gym Ninja x