Friday, 26 March 2010

Actimel, Chips & Maximuscle! Guess which of the three Gym Ninja had today?

How can Exhibition Days feel like the longest days in the world? Or is it more the company that Gym Ninja has to keep during the exhibitions that makes the day drag?

Today was another long day, interspersed by Doctors an Nurses spilling out of lecture halls, heading straight for the refreshment table and fuelling up on sugary coffee and biscuits.  Of course, due to the rapid rise and fall in blood sugar following this sugar ingestion, they will need to repeat the process during every available break. In fact, Gym Ninja spied one Doctor who opened up his laptop case on the table and shovelled in 10 packets of 'individual paired biscuits'. Supplies for later?

A fellow Exhibitor came over to talk to my colleagues who knew him well. Exhibitor man was huge. Big frame, chubby neck, chin(s) in the middle of his face, large overhanging belly.

"It's my first week working THIS year". He announced.
'Been having an op on my spine and now I've pain in my neck. Typical!"

Gym Ninja's colleagues did their sympathetic face and asked him to continue with the story. He did...

"It's the discs. Wrecked.They are gradually fixing them all the way up my spine"
*GN's colleagues did the obligatory sighing in sympathy at this*
"Of course I blame the sports I used to do and the driving in this job" He said.


Was this the Emperors New Clothes in Weight Issue format? Really? Do you not even suppose it may be the strain on the spine and discs from carrying around excessive weight around the stomach? Huh? No?

Being positioned near a Danone Actimel stand was bad for Gym Ninja's colleague Penfold. He overeats constantly as it is, but somehow sees Actimel as the answer to his prayers. 'Sorts out his guts' apparently. Why don't people perhaps stop trying to treat the symptoms and maybe try and figure out the cause?  By noon he'd had 2 Actimel yoghurt drinks and 1 yoghurt. He went off to source himself some lunch along with Whippet (another colleague) and Boss Man.

Boss Man returned with a small salad. Surprising really as he is fond of his junk.
Whippet returned with a steak sandwich and salad, plus a small cake. He is a healthy eater most of the time and eats things in moderation.

"Guess who's gone and got chips?" Whippet announced, nodding his head back in the direction of Penfold.

2 mintes later, Penfold appears with what seems an identical meal to Whippets. Sandwich and salad plus a chocolate cake.....

"Where are your chips then eh?" Boss Man booms.

Penfold looked shifty and tried to deny the chips. So Gym Ninja leaned towards him...only to discover that nestling underneath the salad was a huge pile of chips. He'd hidden them!  WIthin half an hour he was again spooning another Actimel Yoghurt down his neck, followed by an Actimel Yoghurt drink.

"OMG, you are RELENTLESS!" Said an astonished Boss Man.
"Does lunch just roll on continually until evening in your life?" He questioned, eyeing up the yoghurt.

Penfold looked at the collection of Actimel empty pots and bottles.
"Hmm, maybe I have overdone it?" He said...

After the exhibition FINALLY closed, Gym Ninja sneaked off to the gym. She could spare enough time for a decent Upper Body workout before having to return home and finish some more coursework for the PT Diploma.

Today, GN road-tested one of her new logo's tops. The one with the logo too low down so instead of reading her company name across her boobs, it read under them! Ah well, it'd look good once it was in the right place!  After a thorough warm up, the workout began...

Thanks again to the Maximuscle Creatamax 300, the session felt easy. Weights could be increased and fatigue was delayed. Perfect! Gym Ninja tried to concentrate on her incline Dumbbell Presses as a girl stood behind her, legs crossed over in a ballet-like position, before making the shape of a banana with her spine and waggling a yellow (grrr, why do they think girls need coloured weights?) dumbbell behind her head, dangerously. Gym Ninja focussed instead on her poorly aligned logo top in the mirror. Goddamit, if Gym Ninja's printer had managed to print this right, then it'd be a great workout top! But at least the error was keeping GN distracted from Wobbly Wendy behind her...

Suddenly, despite the music playing in Gym Ninja's ears, she nearly leapt off the weights bench at the sound of sudden workmen noise.


The noise reverberated around the gym. Holy cow! HOW noisy is that?

Gym Ninja put down her dumbbells, and turned around to look for the source of the noise.
T'was a teeny tiny girl who'd  revved up the speed on her treadmill and suddenly became 'Concrete Feet'.
Hmm, maybe she supplements with lead to make such a racket?

OK, talking of supplements, before Gym Ninja goes to bed (well, it IS late!), she has clocked a special offer for new customers ordering direct from the Maximuscle website.

Apparently if you order direct with them (the ads take you directly to their page) and it's the first time you have bought from them, you get a WELCOME PACK.


Well, actually it kind of is, as you get in that welcome pack a free Training Diary (so you can log what you did and when at the gym), a Get Fit Guide, and a Money Off Voucher for your next order. Oh and don't forget if you hate the taste (yeh right, you won't by the way) you can return it to them for a FULL refund. Personally, you have to surgically remove any of their products from Gym Ninja's hand...

But existing buyers from their site (aka Gym Ninja) can still get bargains. Click on the tabs at the top that show 'Special Offers' and it'll bring up some 'beauties' for you. Stock up whilst they are on offer! BOGOF on Viper drinks and £11.99 reduction on two huge tubs of Promax. Mmmmmmm, Promax....

In fact if you are not sure, then just buy it anyway and mail it to Gym Ninja.

WOW! Sudden Brain Storm!

HOW amazing if instead of usual Chocolate Eggs at Easter, that Gym Ninja (and you of course) were to make little gift boxes of sports supplements for their fitness friends and family?  Chuck in some chocolate covered protein bars, maybe a pre-mixed ready to drink shake, plus some sachets of protein, energy drinks etc. Yeh it's not quite 'traditional' but at least you aren't sabotaging the fitness goals of loved ones...

Okey dokey


Gym Ninja x