Saturday, 6 March 2010

Atomic Bionic

Ahhh, what a marvelous workout Gym Ninja did today.

Wooohooo! A corker!

Yep. One of those days where you feel like you could continue endlessly until you collapse into a heap. Well..kind of anyway.

GN had it all planned. As the new Spin Instructor drove the class hard, it was now essential to get back into the habit of a warm up run before the class. To pootle in, without first pre-warning the body what was expected of it, was not only foolhardy, but asking for trouble!  Gym Ninja fuelled up with a mix of carbs and protein, plenty fo fluid to aid hydration, and with a cheeky energy shot packed in her bag, (purely an insurance policy!!! Ahem) and headed out to the gym.

Gym Ninja ensured she was poured into her lycra Nike leggings today. There is No place for excess flapping fabric in one of these Spin sessions, not on a Saturday Slaughter Session day!
See, the way to survive classes such as these, is strategically. Plan ahead! ....

1.  Plan the outfit. Streamline yourself. if it can be shoehorned on, then it's the correct fit. if you can easily step in or out of it, DO NOT WEAR IT as it will slow you down. Aerodynamic all the way!!!!

2. Fuel up. None of this 'an empty stomach burns more fat' malarkey. Wanna bet? See how much fat you burn after you've collapsed after 20 minutes as you have no energy to train hard, then go and whoof down as much food as possible as your body is craving it? It's FAR better to have a light well balanced meal about 90 minutes before your session, so that the body has enough energy to train long enough to become a furnace for calories. As you get fitter, the body will reach into its fat stores, don't you worry. Just concentrate on moving at a decent enough intensity. Empty stomach is NOT the way to survive! Your body will only tear down and eat it's own muscles (protein) if it's starving and why would you want that? You're here to work hard today remember?

3.  Tell your body what to do! By this Gym Ninja means, don't keep bleating on and telling yourself you're tired and there's no way you can keep up, as your body will just obey your mind. Be a Body Bully! DEMAND it keeps up. Tell it there is no quitting, not on your shift! It can hardly get up and leave without your say so can it?

4.  Stay hydrated. Makes sense eh? Think about how much better you function when properly hydrated. Don't become all shrivelled up and prune-like. You'll just make everything feel ten times harder.

Okey dokey. So Gym Ninja arrived at the gym, and decided on a quick run to warm up the body. On the treadmill, in the little shelf for your phone/keys/ipod, she discovered this....

Mmmmmmm. A remnant of Milky Way? The treat you CAN eat between meals without ruining your appetite apparently.  YUK!
Firstly, who eats chocolate bars whilst on a treadmill? What's next? Toblerone sticking out of a Cross Trainer handle? Yorkie on a Bike?  Secondly,....EW! What were you thinking? Was it all just too much to finish it? Or are you stashing it away for next time?

Thank GOD, the run was finished and GN could down the energy shot (mwahahaha-GN is playing it safe!) and head into the SPin STudio for an hour of Extreme Spin.

Twas a busy old room. Dangly Cross Man was sat on GN's preferred bike. The one directly in line with the aircon vent. AHHR! GN will now overheat. Bugger! However he's always nice to chat to. Shows an interest in GN's PT course. The room also had a few Newbies in it who'd not done Spin before.
Uh oh!
What a session to have as your first! God bless them...

So, with the lights down, the class began. High paced and frantic. Sprints, standing sprints, underhand flat back moves so the hamstrings are screaming at you,  hill climbs, hill runs, upper body work...and then off the bikes! Kicked out for a lap of the gym.  This means the class is WORSE when you get back on the bike...but not for some. The class had far less people in it after the lap of the gym than before. 3 of the Newbies had scarpered! 

After an hour, and in a puddle of sweat, Gym Ninja was released from the class..

Woohoo endorphins my friends, good to see you again! Gym Ninja tottered to the changing rooms to dry off and grab her skipping rope, passing an older woman wearing a tennis skirt as her leg was draped over a rotary standing leg machine in a rather unladylike manner.  Then, taking advantage of the endorphins, GN pushed herself with another quick 10 minute run, made easier by the eye candy man with the herrruge biceps on the nearby bike. 

Mmmm, biceps.

Then, refuelling on a Promax Crisp Bar (nom nom), Gym Ninja began her upper body weights work. This is how it went....

Gym Ninja sets up a bench to an incline and grabs a barbell.

Gym Ninja sits down on the bench and positions herself ready for incline Chest press work with the barbell. 

Bendy lady with a body like a pipecleaner  walks past 53 empty floor mats and selects the one millimeters away from Gym Ninja's bench.

Pipecleaner lady lies on mat.

AHHHR! STOP THAT! Gym Ninja is CLUMSY! Gym Ninja may drop this on your head. Take your bendy ways and go do that weird stretch you're doing over there!

After much grunting and heavy handidly putting the barbell down close to Pipecleaners toes, she got the hint that maybe this was not the safest of areas to do floor work (no sh*t Sherlock) and relocated to a weight-free area. 

Gym Ninja carried on with her workout. 

Then, just to see if she could, GN mustered up her last bits of energy and started to intersperse her lifts with some skipping. 

Skip skip skip skip skip skip trip.


skip skip skip skip skip skip skip skip skip.....Gym Ninja got 'into' the zone. Fantastic.  Until....oh hello!
Pipecleaner all of a sudden needed to work out RIGHT by the skipping rope peripheral edge...WTF? There is an EMPTY area all around. For MILES! Yet, YOU decide YOU need to do that exercise that quite frankly can be done ANYWHERE, right next to Gym Ninja's skipping rope? Looks like those Weirdo Magnets Gym Ninja appears to have fitted somewhere in her body are kicking in eh?

In the end, Gym Ninja had pushed herself SO hard today that it was a case of 'wind up the session or fall over'. 
Hmm, wind up, or fall over? Wind up, or fall over?
Gym Ninja stumbled.
OK...wind it up!

So, time for the shower but not before her first quaff in a long time of Maximuscle Protein shake in the flavour of Choc Mint. BLISS.
Gym Ninja poured water into the shaker bottle. The powder was added, the grid like thingie was attached and the lid screwed on.
Shake shake...EWWW!

Tiredness meant GN hadn't been paying attention! The lid wasn't on properly. SHAKER SPRAY all over the floor! Noooooooooooooo! Gym Ninja's precious Choc mint!  LEAKING all over the place! *sob*

So...apart from the spillage, GN was rather pleased with her efforts today at the gym. Feeling smug and all squeaky clean after the shower, she left the gym. As she walked out of the door, she passed a guy walking in...

"You're here early!" He said.


"Er, no I'm not" Answered Gym Ninja. 
Who IS this man?

"Yeh you are! You're normally here much later!" He insisted.

"No...." replied Gym Ninja, wondering why she had to explain herself to this man she'd never seen before in her life..."No, I always go to the 10am Spin session on a Saturday nowadays"

"Oh right?" Said the man, and walked off....


Right, GN is now starving so is ending todays blog sharpish. Need some grilled turkey breast and steamed veg. Yum. Genuinely, yum by the way. 

Off you pop. Have a good day/night/evening/weekend/workout (Delete as applicable)

Gym Ninja x