Friday, 12 March 2010

Ninja Quit!

Uh oh!

Gym Ninja LEFT a Spin Class before the 'official' end! Yep! But Gym Ninja will regale you all as to why, right after yesterdays Printers escapades......

If you recall from yesterday's blog post, Gym Ninja had located a Printer that printed on logos or images onto clothing at a very reasonable £6 per top? Gym Ninja wanted to try out a few of the styles of tops she'd brought at Sports Direct, to see what would look best?

Gym Ninja pulled up into the car park. Hmmm, somewhat rough but maybe the Printer is here because rent of shops is cheap? Clutching her bag of swag, GN headed to the shop, and pushed open the door.

"Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" Yelped Gym Ninja, for as she pushed the door open and stepped inside, she immediately managed to trip over the built-up step right by the door. The built-up step that was heavily marked out as a hazard using yellow and black tape. 

The girl at the counter didn't look impressed! Gym Ninja explained about the tops and put them (AND the tops, snigger) on the counter so the girl would be able to say which were the best type for embellishment.  

"You cant print on these two-they are ribbed and the fabric won't stretch so that means the logo won't either"

Gym Ninja looked blank, so the girl carried on..

"Say when, you put the top on and it stretches 'here' (at this, she gestured to her boobs), then the letters will space out and won't stretch with the fabric". The girl gave Gym Ninja a 'please understand' look.  
Gym Ninja understood.

Luckily 2 of the other tops were deemed suitable, so Gym Ninja requested they print her logo on these. One across the back on one top, and the other across the chest.

"You know, so it gives that 3D effect, across the chest!" Sniggered Gym Ninja.

The girl looked blank.

"It's not 3D, as your logo isn't 3D. It's similar to screen print". She said.

"Er, no, I meant you know, because it's 'across my chest' it sticks out?" Explained Gym Ninja....

Sometimes Gym Ninja thinks her comedy genius is wasted on people it really is!.....

So now the tops are at the Printers, and fingers crossed, the results will not reflect the £6 fee!

Anyway, back to Spin.  That evening, Gym Ninja headed to the gym. The 7pm Spin Class was hosted by the girl who pushes you to an inch of your life (the same one who takes the Saturday Slaughter Session), so it's worth making the effort to attend. Gym Ninja had scheduled in some time for upper body weights first though. Time to get sweaty!

It wasn't too busy in the womens section of the gym. Admittedly, as there was a 'Y' in the day of the week, this meant that a few women had carefully laid out their mats to work abs in front of the limited mirror space in the free weights section. Great. You're ON THE FLOOR so you can't even see in the mirror. Why crunch there?  The dumbbell tree was also looking bare. What tends to happen is that the Personal Trainers come into the womens gym, pick off a few of the dumbbells for their client to use, and take them out of the room to use in the 'Personal Training Only' area. Grrr. Get your own weights! If you borrow stuff then return it afterwards. That's gym etiquette! 

So Gym Ninja worked her upper body, with one eye on the clock. At 6.45pm, having stretched out to finish, GN headed to the changing rooms, grabbed her gel seat cover and made her way up to the Spin Studio, carefully selecting the bike in front of the aircon vent.

But what is this? WHERE IS the GOOD instructor? Noooooooooooooooooooooo!
Yep-Good Instructor Girl had not turned up and instead there was a 'stand in' Instructor. 
In walks a teeny tiny women, of an age that Gym Ninja estimates to be in her mid to late 50s. Like Thumbelina but in a massive fleece. 

"Hi", Said Thumbelina. "I'm covering the class today, and if you're wondering why I'm down here... (at this point Gym Ninja expected a midget joke)'s because I want to do the class with you rather than 'up there' (at this, Thumbelina gestured to the Instructors bike up on the platform)."

Now forgive Gym Ninja for mentioning it, but just because the bike is ON the platform, does not then render it uncyclable (if there IS such a word?). You can still 'do the class' up there! Plus, as an added bonus, we'd be able to SEE You too!

"And I bet you're all thinking, what's SHE gonna do to us eh?" Bellowed Thumbelina, just as Gym Ninja was thinking those very words. Hmmm, is Thumbelina a tad fed up of being told she's older than the usual Instructors perchance? 

"Well, just you wait! I'm gonna work you HARD! It's an hours class and we'll go flat out for an hour!"

Okaaaaaaaaay. We'll see.....

So, with the music on, Thumbelina hidden from view ('doing the class' as she likes to call it) and THE LIGHTS ON (ahhhr, MAJOR Spin Sin in GN's opinion. Turn the bloody lights off!) the class began.

Holy schmoly! This woman wasn't kidding. She was OFF, like a pocket rocket, her teeny legs spinning like rubber legs (assuming rubber legs spin?). Easy Tiger! Aren't we supposed to warm up gradually to avoid pinged muscles and tendons? But no, Thumbelina had a point to prove so it seemed. She didn't want ANYONE thinking she wasn't up to the job.  She hurtled along, with that big old fleece still zipped up, her face turning redder and redder, her hands getting all vascular, and puffing and panting as she screamed at the top of her voice (er...the microphone is up on the platform by the Instructor bike you know). Everyone struggled to keep up. Meanwhile, Gym Ninja KNEW she was slacking for the following thoughts were going through her head, and let us be honest, you need NO thoughts other than 'do not die, do not die' running through your head when in Spin)...

1. Gym Ninja was awfully concerned about Thumbelina overheating in that fleece.  Just take it off. Or if you don't want to take it off, unzip it a bit?

2.  Gym Ninja was concerned about how red Thumbelina was going. Maybe she is just one of those pinkies who turn a different colour when training? But what if it's linked to the fleece in some way?

3.  Whoa! Are her legs going to be ok moving at that speed? They are moving terribly fast and she's only tiny!

4.  Damn. Gym Ninja should have worn a different top/sports bra combo. With the lights on full beam as it were, GN felt like she had Right Said Fred down her top every time she looked down.

5.  She's going to hurt her voice screaming that loud. if she'd have gone up on the platform she'd have been able to use the mic.

6. Gosh-maybe Thumbelina couldn't reach the platform? Is that why she's down at  ant-level?

7.  Hmm, what's for tea later?

8.  God, Gym Ninja is STARVING. Ahhhr, GN needs food.

So as you can tell, this workout was anything but.  So, after 45 minutes of these thoughts, Gym Ninja feared that this may soon turn into a Snuff Spin Class if Thumbelina pushed herself any harder, so, she dismounted her bike, gathered up her stuff and walked out.

So you see....Gym Ninja QUIT the class.

However, it will not happen again. Let us HOPE it doesn't happen again....

Right, GN needs to go swot up on muscle origins and insertions for Sunday's exam and it's all nonsense as far a her brain is concerned.

See you tomorrow!

Gym Ninja x