Friday, 23 April 2010

Mental Ninja

Gym Ninja isn't quite sure where today's blog post is going.

To be honest, Gym Ninja rarely has a clue. Maybe a few reminders are jotted down but when it comes to blogging, Gym Ninja sits down, fires up the Mac and then just types.....what you read is how it came out.

Today however, GN appears to be short of ideas. That is very unusual.  Funny old day really. In fact maybe that is what GN should start off blogging about and see what happens eh?

GN had work to do. A few quotes to fire off in the morning before heading out to see a client. Remember, Gym Ninja is still trapped in the sales job from hell. Having received a text to say her Maximuscle delivery was due between 3-4pm, GN scheduled her day around this.  First stop, fuelling up at the Petrol Station and also nipping into Tesco to buy some calorific junk for her clients...

To make a huge sweeping (and most likely inaccurate) statement, the thing with NHS staff is that they appear to crave sugary treats from sales reps. They seem to 'expect' them. Gym Ninja hates buying junk for people. Once Gym Ninja rocked up with some fruit and sushi for a team of nurses and got shot down in flames. So now, under duress, Gym Ninja buys a couple of those Tesco or Asda boxes of 20 mini bites of sugary fatty rubbish for them. They seem to enjoy those. Bleurr!  Whilst in Tesco, GN saw a couple of the Maxitone Definity Crisp bars. These are the girly version of the Maximuscle Promax Crisp bars.  Not nearly as nice by the way. Extra sweet and girly. But GN decided that a couple of those as emergency stashes in the handbag would be a good idea.

On the way out of the store, Gym Ninja nearly crashed into a woman in front of her with a fully loaded trolley of what appeared to be.......Junk.
(Or 'food' as the manufacturers would have people believe!)  When GN says it was piled high she means in a herrrruge pyramid, teetering precariously as the Broad Lady  (almost as wide as she was tall) pushed the trolley towards the door. All of a sudden, the woman stopped dead (which is when GN very nearly mounted her from behind in a Tesco leapfrog type moment). A packet of crisps (the Bovril ones by the looks of them) had committed suicide and leapt off the top of the food pyramid and thrown itself onto the floor. OK, so maybe 'committed suicide' was a tad dramatic. Maybe it 'fell off'? But the packet of crisps MUST have known that the moment it fell in front of the Broad Lady then...

*Pffft, POP, crushhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

That was Broad Lady treading onto the Crisps and the packet being squeezed so the air shot out before popping the bag and then crushing the crisps inside.  See? Suicide! The crisp packet equivalent of throwing oneself in front of a train....

Let us all take a moment to grieve for the bag of crisps.

OK..plenty more crisp bags in her trolley so don't over-react! The woman immediately gasped and went to retrieve the dead crisps. Gym Ninja felt she had to leave before she witnessed the woman then devouring them..........

See? NO clue what to write today. Mental Ninja!

Having visited the client and heard squeals of delight as the Sister at the hospital passed the sugary mini bite treats to her team (Gym Ninja only gives the treats at the end of the visit as she hates to witness  the mass descent on them so tries to leave as they open the boxes), Gym Ninja got back in the car, ate her organic tuna salad she'd prepped that morning that had been happily sitting in the cool box, & set off homeward bound to wait for her Maximuscle stash to be delivered. Yum!

Once home, GN went to fire up the work laptop only to discover......stripy screen of death! GN must have cracked the screen when she rather heavy handedly dumped her briefcase on the floor earlier. Grr! This meant that the laptop was unusable...which in turn meant that Gym Ninja could take a moment to continue her quest to build up an Inspiration File.

DO you have an Inspiration File?

OK. This is a  'Blue Gym Peter Ninja' style  blog segment now. Get your glue sticks and scissors at the ready Ninjarettes.........

The Inspiration File.

This is a file, either in scrap book or photo album format, or created on your computer, that you fill with photos of bodies you admire, bodies you strive to be like, even bodies you never think you can be like yet find it incredibly inspirational to see, all can be included. The purpose of this?

Inspiration. Motivation. Focus. 

When you aren't quite sure where you are aiming for in terms of how you want to look, open the file and be inspired. Then, plan your programme to take you from where you are now to where you want to be!

When you are having a lazy day and cannot be bothered making it to the gym, open the file and be motivated! Look at those physiques you admire. Do you think they got like that from being lazy? Do you think they skive off the gym regularly? Nope. By this point, having chosen the pictures that motivate you, you'll be up and changing into your workout gear in no time!

You're having another 'if it's not nailed down it's going in my mouth' type day. Your healthy eating plan is so far off kilter Ronald McDonald would make healthier choices than you. You're binging and even worse, may even be at the stage whereby you think 'Ah f*ck it! I've ruined it now so may as well open that family bag of crisps too....'. Get your Inspiration File out, look through it and get focussed! Stop your binge. Throw the rest of the junk away. Start afresh. Get back on track.

These are just three ways in which the file can help you. Everyone creates their file to suit their motivations/goals/ideals of what their perfect (!) body is like. Gym Ninja could post her file here for you all, yet Gym Ninja's Inspiration may well be wildly differing to yours. do you start?

Go through any back issues of fitness magazines you have like Oxygen Mag etc. Cut out the pictures of bodies you admire. Place them in a scrap book/photo album or scan them onto your computer.

Have a mooch at the fitness sites online. Take copies of the pictures that motivate and inspire you.

Look for athletes and even images of well known Personal Trainers of fitness experts. They may have the physique that you aspire to?

Look at celebrity sites, as some celebrities work out hard and have great bodies that are fit and healthy. Take copies of those too.

That will be enough to start you off. However always add to it! Keep it fresh. As you progress then so may your file? You may discard some of the earlier pictures if you have already reached that level yourself. You may change what you perceive as motivational so may want to add more muscular/athletic photos? Or you just may find they don't work as well as they once did?  Always keep an eye open be in in magazines, online, wherever and add them to your file.  In times of laziness, binging or  loss of direction, look at the file. Focus and imagine what it feels like to be that healthy and look that good.  See yourself in that shape. Then go get it!

See? Who knew that this odd blog post may throw up something helpful at the end? Now if only Broad Woman had made herself an Inspiration File...those suicidal crisps may still be alive today...........