Thursday, 1 April 2010

The Honeytrap Blog

Gym Ninja has been trapped in the house for too long. 

Well, it feels too long. Possibly because yesterday, she settled at her computer from 2pm until 5pm doing work admin and then 6pm to 10pm doing  coursework. Oh and then foolishly headed back at 11.30pm  to do some more coursework..(tip-NEVER check your bank balance when overdrawn at 11.30pm as it's not conducive to a good nights sleep).

Today has been another computer-based day at home (with a couple of ventures outside on what appears to be the return of winter) so Gym Ninja is determined. OFF TO THE GYM to get the body moving again!

Oh, before the Gym Story begins, Gym Ninja received her Maximuscle goodies today. That was quick. She has rationed them out (as she is on a mega strict budget) and squirreled away the Promax Diet Bars, Maxi-Milks and Promax Crisp bars that she will need for the 3 days away next week, and then will eeek out the rest to last as long as possible. It's tough though...Gym Ninja can hear the Promax Crisp Bars taunting her from her cupboard....the little devils...

Once at the Gym, GN was again annoyed to find her favourite bank of treadmills taken by people meandering at a walking pace, little hands gripping the top of the treadmill for dear life as they leaned back at a 45' angle.

*sigh*, WHY?

You are walking at a snails pace. Why are you holding on? Do you need to hold onto things when you walk around in your every day life? Gym Ninja has just walked through the entrance of the gym faster than you are walking on that treadmill.


So GN had to do a brief run on the upstairs treadmills that are old and have dodgy shock absorption. Good job there were an abundance of 'guns' on show at the gym tonight. Gives a Ninja something to look at....

T'was leg day today & GN planned on doing a fair few variations of the bog standard lunge. Variations through different planes of movement to target muscles from all angles. As GN worked her way through these, she clocked a girl who is a regular, lying flat on the floor (in the free weights area, grr) yet AGAIN doing ab work. This is ALL GN has ever seen her do. Abs. Every single time. Not even another muscle group. Not even her lower back. Just abs. Fairly advanced  ab work too might GN add, but still...maybe she is doing Gym Ninja's share? After all, for some reason GN HATES ab work (although that 'show' did make Gym Ninja do some standing and seated med ball work on her abs followed by swiss ball planks).

As Gym Ninja was balancing on the Swiss Ball, her eyes were 'assaulted', to the point she nearly rolled off it! A 'larger lady' dressed in Skater Girl attire (think low slung baggie gym pants & hoodie) had bent over, revealing the biggest Builders Crack Gym Ninja had ever seen. It reminded her of her last trip to Vegas when you fly over the Grand Canyon?  But less 'touristy' of course....Oooh, wouldn't you 'feel' the draft of trousers barely hanging on by the skin of their teeth? Any lower and it would have been like staring into the eye of a Cyclops! Gym Ninja quickly shut her eyes....

Moving back into the main gym to use the Hammer Plate Leg press, Gym Ninja noticed an awful lot of men just 'hanging around', not really working out much. Too much gassing goes on in the gym sometimes it really does. GN loaded up the plates onto the leg press, turned around and...

Ahhh..... *ping of the lightbulb above head*

So THAT was why there were queues of men standing around. At the other side of the gym, right in the middle of the weights section was a girl in the teeniest hotpants ever created.....doing straight legged deadlifts....with her BACK to the men.

You gotta love that girl-she so knew what she was doing, lol. Who said lifting weights wasn't feminine eh???? I believe that particular variation of deadlift is known as 'The Honeytrap', and yes, Gym Ninja has been known to have done it herself in another gym once-upon a time (albeit in lycra rather than hotpants), but it worked a treat!

So this brings Gym Ninja onto a big 'reveal' to any guys out there reading this blog...the exercises girls often do from the 'Honeytrap' range ....Not ALL the time by the way. Girls do these as they are good exercises, but sometimes, just sometimes, we do them for the 'reaction'... ;-)
(oh and ladies, you may want to take notes if you fancy trying them out at the gym one day! Makes it fun!)

1. The Deadlift Honeytrap
As described above. Straight legged deadlifts work best for this. A nice deep stretch of the hamstrings as you work through the full range of motion. To be performed with your back to the room, an audience of men behind you.
Advanced Technique: Do this in front of a mirror, so that not only do they get the rear view, but also the reflected 'front chest' view.

2.  Cable Flye Honeytrap
Leaning forwards at a 45' angle, using high cable pulleys to perform chest flyes. Ensure you do that extra 'squeeze' of the pecs for maximum effect...

3. Adductor Machine Honeytrap
Now anyone worth their salt knows this machine is a waste of metal. HOWEVER, it can be put to good use in the Honeytrap workout.  Really set those leg rests wide.
Advanced Technique: Perform this exercise just after a sweaty cardio session...use the gym towel for maximum effect as you mop yourself down whilst squeezing your thighs together.

4. Lying Hamstring Curl Honeytrap
Can you see the pattern yet?  Choose your moment to climb onto the Lying Hamstring curl machine. Ideally the best ones are the ones that have your hips slightly elevated, displaying your bottom a few inches higher than the rest of you. Feel free to rest between sets still lying face down on the machine...

That'll do for now. No point giving them ALL away eh?

Does Gym Ninja do these?

No, not as a rule. Gym Ninja is usually too busy concentrating on her next move and is actually a bit shy. Honest! But it has been known on rare occasions....which is how GN knows these moves work.

Use them wisely little Ninjarettes! Powerful things are the Honeytrap Exercises!

Please now read the safety advice below:

Gym Ninja cannot be held responsible for any after-effects of the workout described above. You do them at your own risk.  Use only One Honeytrap exercise per workout. Any more than one in a workout may cause side effects such as dizziness, hypertension, heart palpitations and priapism.... (you so know you're gonna go google that las word!!!) 

Until tomorrow....

Gym Ninja x