Tuesday, 6 April 2010

Personal Shopper Ninja

Ahhh, it feels good to be on holiday from work. REALLY good!  Gym Ninja is planning some decent quality workout sessions over the next 2 weeks to make up for the shorter sessions these past few months due to study and time restraints.

But today Gym Ninja had promised to help her sister.

Now Gym Ninja's sister (aka Sister Ninja) used to train many moons ago. MANY moons ago. In fact, she's not done any exercise in at least 10 years, so how Gym Ninja had managed to talk her into signing up for the Race For Life 5k run is anyone's guess?

Gym Ninja wrote out a basic endurance weights and cardio programme for her sister to follow at the gym a few weeks ago, yet 'Sister Ninja' is still procrastinating about not knowing how to use the gym equipment due to the way her local gym runs itself. They don't actually have an instructor based in the gym now. They have regular 'instructional workshops' that members can attend (assuming they are free in the middle of the day when these workshops seem to be scheduled). Hmm, not good. So Gym Ninja is having to plan a visit to Sister Ninja's gym in order to do their job for them and teach her how to use the equipment safely and effectively.  In the meantime, GN had also persuaded Sister Ninja to agree to a regular Sunday afternoon outdoor running session. You could tell by her face, that Sister Ninja wasn't looking forward to it one bit!

"But I haven't even got the correct gear", procrastinated Sister Ninja...

Which is how, today, Gym Ninja found herself dragging a reluctant Sister Ninja to the shops to get her kitted out. NO excuses! Not on Gym Ninja's patch!

"I don't like leggings and I don't want anyone seeing my bum!" Muttered Sister Ninja as her and GN made their way to the mecca of 'kit me out cheaply' that is, 'Sports Direct'.

"Not a problem!" Beamed Gym Ninja, ignoring Sister Ninja's scowl.
"The most important thing we need to make you buy is the right running shoes though, as those arty farty designer ones you wear are neither use nor ornament!" 

With that, they entered the cluttered mess that is Sports Direct. A huge jumble sale-esque store that piles em high and knocks em down low.  Quite possibly it may exaggerate somewhat when it comes to the original selling price, but who cares when you see the actual selling sale price?

Over to the trainers went Gym Ninja and her sister. They stretched floor to ceiling, in various styles, shades and fashion statements!
"I want black ones!" Said Sister Ninja.
Picking trainers by colour isn't actually the ideal way to choose the correct shoes. Thus followed a brief yet informative 'lecture' from Gym Ninja about supportive, cushioned trainers. Admittedly a top of the range running shoe wasn't necessary here due to the fact that Sister Ninja would rarely run in them, but all the same, a well-known brand such as Nike, Reebok, Adidas etc was important.

And so the quest for the perfect shoe began...Sister Ninja picked trainers solely on their appearance, Gym Ninja then vetted them and put back the dodgy ones, and encouraged the slightly vacant-looking store assistant to go 'fetch' the correct size for the ones that made the short list. Now one problem with clearance stores is that, unless you have feet as small as cat paws or feet as large as clown feet, you are most likely to be told 'I'm sorry we don't have your size'. So it took about 8 attempts at pushing a random trainer in the vacant-looking guys face before..tadaaaaaaaaa'. Cinderella shoe type moment! A pair of Reebok trainers for the princely sum of £22. Reduced from £55. BARGAIN!

By now, Sister Ninja was starting to 'warm' to the idea that she may need relevant kit. Admittedly the trainers weren't black as she'd wanted, but they were a silvery grey which meant they didn't fall into the 'I hate day glo white' trainer category Sister Ninja recoils from. Next stop, the lycra section....

"Try these,.....and these......oh and these look Ok too" Ordered Gym Ninja, piling hangar after hangar of black bottoms to Sister Ninja. Once a hefty pile had been made over her arm, Sister Ninja then scurried away to the changing rooms to try everything on. This gave Gym Ninja time to mooch....

As ever, Sports Direct was full of a mixture of people. A quick glance around showed that about 75% of the shoppers did not look even slightly athletic and were busy squashing their bodies between narrowly spaced clothing rails. The clothes towered way above the heads of everyone, hung right up the wall to the ceiling. I mean, seriously, who can browse the stuff up there?  Gym Ninja spotted a couple of black tops in her size hung half a mile up the wall. FAB! Maybe they'd be good for her uniform? All Gym Ninja now needed was a ladder, or a shop assistant with telescopic go-go-gadget arms....

"Excuse me" Said Gym Ninja to a bespectacled portly shop assistant who was busy counting shoe boxes.
The Shop Assistant looked up, then his face immediately crumpled as he totally forgot his shoe box count!
" I really need some help getting a couple of tops down from your ceiling if you can help?"

"Sure thing!" Smiled the Shop Assistant. "I'll just get a pole..."

Hmm, what has Nationality got to do with it? Why not get a Spaniard or an Italian...?

Within 2 minutes the Shop Assistant returned with a mighty pole with a hook, and waved it up the wall, akin to 'hook a duck' at the fairground. He managed to grab the tops and lowered them down.

"Best of luck with them fitting", he mumbled as he passed the tops to Gym Ninja.
"This top's apparently a size XL. God knows why they thought I needed a size XL anyway" He continued, pulling out the over-large shapeless sports top uniform.

"Er...........ok thanks bye", Said Gym Ninja, not quite sure what her response should really be? She went to try on the tops, and sure enough...baggy shapeless nonsense. Maybe the higher up the wall, the more rubbish the clothing is?

By now Sister Ninja had emerged from the changing rooms and flung back the trousers to Gym Ninja, declaring them all unsuitable.
"I'll just stick with some jogging bottoms I already have" Sister Ninja announced, waving her hand as she breezed past. "At least then no one can see my bottom!"
With that, she walked to the cashier and bought the trainers.

Gym Ninja guesses you can lead a runner to Sports Direct, but you cannot force a runner to buy eh? Never mind. At least it's a start!

Now on a different note, Gym Ninja has been training without her Polar Heart Rate Monitor for a month or two now. Ever since the battery went in the coded transmitter belt and the replacement battery had failed to make it work (grrr), Gym Ninja knew she'd have to buy a new transmitter (luckily the watch part was still OK). However Gym Ninja is deeply broke. TOTALLY broke so buying one was not an option. Not being able to accurately monitor her heart rate throughout sessions was just plain annoying and not at all useful. So imagine her surprise when yesterday, having located the empty Heart Rate Monitor box in the vain hope of seeing if it was still in warantee, Gym Ninja discovered the original NEW transmitter and belt still in the box.
Gym Ninja had TOTALLY forgotten that it was only the WATCH that had broken last time, and that when she bought this replacement one, she'd not used the new transmitter and belt, instead still using her old one with the new watch.

So today, Gym Ninja rushed to the gym, back on track to monitor her workout again.....

But wait! Gym Ninja has rambled for too long today, so she shall save that story for tomorrow. Don't moan little Ninjarettes. It's only 1 sleep away...

Gym Ninja x