Sunday, 18 April 2010

Saturday Fizzler?

So, Saturday dawned with Gym Ninja being made fully aware of the fact that her usual Saturday Slaughter Session would be different due to the fact that the Spin Instructor was absent.  This meant a later start (8am) to her Saturday but with the same intentions to perform well at the gym. Also, after the gym, GN needed to go collect her printed Gym Tops that were supposed to have been ready to collect Thursday and yet for some reason were not ready.  Busy busy!

However unfortunately Gym Ninja was incredibly tired. This may have been due to the very late night courtesy of an online photography 'bank', whereby stock photos can be selected and purchased for any requirement? Gym Ninja had decided to start browsing images for her website and brochures at about 11.30pm Friday night and all too soon it was gone 1am and Gym Ninja needed to get to bed! Sometimes it's hard enough to motivate yourself to train, but when you sabotage your own efforts by staying up late? Well that's just stupid. Gym Ninja was stupid. Oh, and tired...!

At the gym, Gym Ninja began her warm up on a X Trainer whilst having a sly 'perv' at a guy on the cable machine.

"Hmm, he looks kind of nice.." Mused Gym Ninja as she watched his muscles flex as he worked the cables...then....NO!
The guy had just slobbered all down his own chin as he leaned down to change the weight pin. EWWWWWWWWW!

Next was the run. Gym Ninja switched on the treadmill, did a minute of walking and switched it off. Not in the mood. Maybe the Stairclimber was what was needed? Yep, the Stairclimber!

Gym Ninja reached the Stairclimbers only to find they were all taken. Grr. OK, back to a X Trainer then. 3 minutes of the X Trainer and.... nope! The late night had taken it's toll. PACK IT IN! So that's what GN did. Best to use what energy Gym Ninja DID have in order to lift weights instead.  Time for Upper Body!!!!

Now the workout was OK. Not too shoddy, but not exactly on fire. Learn from Gym Ninja and do NOT skimp on sleep. Never underestimate how it can affect your fitness regime (leaving you too tired to train hard) and in some cases, affect your nutrition (being tired makes it easier to reach for sugary snacks-albeit GN managed to resist that today!)

Once the workout had finished, Gym Ninja went to shower. Having unloaded her bag from the locker in order to grab her towel and shower stuff, Gym Ninja turned around (to stuff her bag back into the locker before walking to the shower area) only to discover a padlock on her locker! Whilst her back had been turned, someone had decided that the locker was empty (which technically it was...) and used it! FFS, is nothing sacred?

Cautiously avoiding the shower cubicle with the dodgy lock (remember the 'there's a woman trapped in the shower cubicle' incident earlier in the week?) Gym Ninja freshened up and then returned to get be met by the weird sight of a woman trying to put her knickers on whilst concealing her body with a towel...

Now, there are two ways in which to do this.

1. Ideally, ensure the towel is tucked in firmly around your body and then gracefully step into your underwear, slowly sliding it up and on. Nothing flashed at anyone and job done.  

Then...THEN *sigh* there is the second way of doing this. The way that this woman was...

2. LOOSELY fasten towel around body, ensuring it is not quite secure enough meaning you do the rapid hand dance (whereby one's hand reaches up to the top of the towel to stop it slipping, then back down, and then up a repetitive motion). Step into underwear, hauling it upwards, catching the back of the towel which will then move upwards at the same time as your underwear, slowly exposing your bottom to the world. Realise that this is happening and quickly pull towel down. This then means the top of the towel starts to slip, so you have to whip your hand back up again to tighten the towel. Once this is done, grab BOTH sides of your knickers and haul them up, whilst turning knees out to the side, legs wide as if you are straddling a supermarket trolley, before shifting your weight from one leg to the other, in a side-to-side waddle as you position your underwear. Finish with a final leap of the ground as the knickers reach their location. 

Hmm...which is better do you think?

Once dressed, Gym Ninja pootled off to the Print Shop to collect the 3 tops (that were being printed with the Personal Trainer signage and logos) before going to visit her first client. That'd be the tops that were supposed to be ready for collection Thursday afternoon.

As Gym Ninja walked into the Print Shop, Girl Printer greeted her with a big smile.

"Hi! That was good timing!" She announced.

YAY! That can only mean the tops are ready surely? But Gym Ninja walked to the desk, there on it were the three BLANK tops, with the wording still in the special clear plasticky stuff they use to print it on. She'd only just begun to print them!

As she positioned the wording, Girl Printer started to ask questions about how Gym Ninja got into fitness & was surprised to hear that GN used to HATE exercise/sport at school. This followed a chat about horrid PE Teachers, being last when teams were picked, how hockey was fun purely because you could smack the fit girls in the leg with the stick etc.  Then Gym Ninja explained how effective weights are for getting in shape. Girl Printer was intrigued.

"How can I get rid of this then?" She said, gesturing to her tummy area.  And so began a brief yet informative (well GN thinks it was) chat about how muscle creates a metabolic furnace in the body, and why sugar is a very dangerous thing to eat in terms of encouraging fat storage around the abdomen, plus the associated insulin spikes/slumps that ensue. Girl Printer seemed fascinated. Great. Less of the fascination and more of the printing of the tops please!

Printer Man appeared from the back room for a chat. Great. Maybe if there was less chat then there may be more printing done?  As he was talking, a large rotund man waddled into the shop. He obviously knew the staff and started to chat.

"I'm just going to nip out for a bad cigarette. Oooh, evil & really bad of me I know!"  Said Printer Man, looking sheepishly at me.

"Look, I never said anything about you smoking did I? Why tell me?" Gym Ninja replied.

"Well, you just have that look that makes me feel guilty!" He admitted. "It was like the time when she grassed me up for eating the burger when you were in here last", Gesturing to his fiance, Girl Printer, who smirked at him.

The Rotund Man patted his belly and announced..
"I eat burgers ALL the time!"

Printer Man stared at him. "Yeh we can see that! You need to hire her, she's a Personal Trainer!" 


With that, Gym Ninja gathered up her newly printed tops and set out to the car park.  Quickly lowering the vest top she had on, Gym Ninja pulled on one of the newly printed tops ready to arrive at her clients house for a Consultation. As her head popped out of the top, she was greeted by the stares of a taxi driver who'd just pulled up next to her car.


Right, that's your lot for today. More tomorrow. Gym Ninja appears to be one day behind in her blogs so tomorrow will be about today's outdoor run.

Toodle pip

Gym Ninja x