Friday, 22 January 2010


Cor Blimey!

Gym Ninja had a fantastic cardio-only gym session yesterday. She felt that she was long overdue a hardcore cardio session, as usually you will recall, she has her weekly Saturday Slaughter Session whereby she slowly dissolves into a puddle of sweat. Well, she's not been able to do that for 2 weeks, so she was chomping at the proverbial bit due to only managing 20 minutes or so of cardio during her usual gym visits.

She'd also done a fair bit of driving mileage this week and found herself eating  more than usual just to fuel her long bored hours in the car. Nothing sinful though. Oh no! Gym Ninja DOES occasionally stuff sinful things into her mouth, but nothing food related and that is NOT for this Blog without a 9pm watershed ;-)

DAMN those Endorphins!
They just made Gym Ninja turn into Frankie Howard with her innuendos! Apologies........what she was trying to say was, that although she can fall into the snacking-through-boredom trap, her snacks are still healthy.  But as we all know, it doesn't make a blind bit of difference whether they are healthy or not if her calories IN exceed her calories OUT. Thus, GN needed to get them out, so to speak! (See? There she goes again with her innuendos!).

She headed to the gym. She'd packed her 'spray on' running leggings as she knew that things like that made such a difference if she knew she had a long session ahead. Excess fabric flapping around and soaking up sweat like a sponge can hinder her workout, so once she was all 'lycra-d up' she warmed up for 10 minutes on the X-Trainer whilst watching some iTunesU  video lectures  on anatomy courtesy of her iPhone.

 It's a tad 'dated' (as GN doesn't think that the Professor is in 70's fancy Dress) but it helps her with her Anatomy Revision no end! The iTunesU stuff is fab actually. There is one lecture (audio) about 'Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers?' (or something like that-fascinating and FREE!)...

Once that was done, she moved to the treadmill for a 20 minute fast, yet 'steady state' (as in pretty much the same pace throughout) run. Oooh, it was tough going to begin with as most workouts are, however Gym Ninja knows that she needs to give herself at least 5 minutes to get used to the idea of running, and then once that 5 minutes has passed well, she can just carry on. So she did. Of course, within moments someone who had bathed in Deep Heat turned up & floored all gym goers within a 2 mile radius...WHY? Please-if you hurt THAT much that you need Deep Heat slathered all over your body, then maybe rest up at home?

The 20 minute run seemed longer than 20 minutes. Maybe the man strolling on the treadmill next to GN made it seem longer? He was walking at 'window shopping' speed. Maybe GN needs to ensure she only uses a treadmill next to someone moving fast??  After 20 minutes Gym Ninja hopped off the treadmill and nipped off for 'a slash', it's NOT a very ladylike term, but deal with it OK?

Once Gym Ninja's nose was powdered, she headed back to the treadmill. You see, there was still an ounce of energy left in GN and she planned on working herself harder than usual. She passed a Shoal by the Resistance Machines. If you recall, the Shoal was a gaggle of young girls who swarm across the gym in a shoal-like fish formation, never once leaving each other alone. They were stood millimeters away from another shoal-this time a male Shoal.  This Shoal consisted of 5 teenage boys, all in matching white vest tops and bermuda shorts. They too were moving across from machine to machine in a formation, and as one trained the rest huddled around him in a semi-circle. The Girl Shoal watched the Boy Shoal and moved as they did...with a safe space of 2 machine widths between them at all times of course.  Bless. Gym Ninja made a mental note to NEVER even attempt to go into the Hydropool if both Shoals were in...could be like a teenage 'behind the bikesheds' moment in foamy hot water format! EEEK!

Back on the treadmill, Gym Ninja scrolled through her iPhone (that is now sadly broken, but that is too traumatic to talk about seeing as her replacement one today immediately then developed the exact same identical fault as the original, so is still 'ongoing' *sob), and decided she'd do a constructive interval run. She picked iTread Set 21, 30 minutes of Run Intervals....downloaded as a pay as you go option from  which is a fantastic site if you fancy a bit of someone shouting in your ear as to what speed and incline you should be walking/jogging/running at!  The music is totally naff, but the workout you get is hard! So off she run run, upping and lowering the speed, as per instructed.  You can ONLY imagine how much of the old Endorphins were galloping around Gym Ninja's system after completing that! Fantastic!

Today, Gym Ninja made another juice...took photos to show you all, yet due to the problem with her iPhone and it having wiped everything off her handset, the photos are sadly lost *sigh*. T'was a concoction that mixed 4 carrots, 2 sticks of nasty old celery (NOT a celery fan), 2 leaves of cabbage, a good old beetroot and an apple. Tasted fab again and was a gorgeous frothy red colour.  Not sure what it was supposed to do other than kind of rinse you out, but it did make Gym Ninja's tongue turn red. In fact, maybe GN should also post tongue picture to go along with juice pictures? Have YOU bought your juicer yet?

Right-Ninja Over & Out as she needs to hot-foot it back to Apple to get this issue sorted once & for all! She will be back tomorrow with an update as to her new scales weigh-in. Ooer!

Gym Ninja xx