Wednesday, 24 February 2010

Injure the Ninja

Gym Ninja hurts!

Possibly due to over zealous stretching of the neck muscles? Possibly due to over zealous corrective exercise? DEFINITELY exacerbated by hauling around the Blandmobile Company Car for hours at a time the past 2 days!  Regardless, Gym Ninja now has a very painful Trapezius and anterior deltoid. NO play time at the gym because of it either! AHHR!

EVEN WORSE, in some sort of karma-type sick trick, Gym Ninja has had to...and she can barely bring herself to confess....BUY Deep Heat muscle rub! What kind of cruel twist of fate is this?

Acutely aware of the ponginess of Deep Heat, Gym Ninja waited until she returned home for the day, and then slathered on the cream. Rub rub rub until it was well rubbed in. Dougal, Gym Ninja's biggest cat, came in, nose a-twitching, to see what was causing the ungodly stench. Oooh, it's Gym Ninja and her muscle rub. :-(

Oooh, that felt a tad better. maybe Gym Ninja now knows & appreciates why sometimes people have to use this muscle rub? After all......... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHR!

Gym Ninja was ON FIRE!

No joke!

In a complete lack of awareness, Gym Ninja had squeezed on a third of the tube and now her skin was on fire. Great! Muscle soreness diminished. Skin burns heightened. Swap one pain for another why don't you?

So as you can imagine, Gym Ninja is not a joyous soul.

Not only that, she appears to be as thick as the stair carpet that, about 10 minutes post Deep Heat, she decided to rip up off the stairs to make way for the new carpet she has since discovered (courtesy of online banking) she cannot now afford! EEEK!

So, not only has she a sore muscular ache, she also has a burning skin sensation over her shoulder, a pongy Deep Heat scent radiating off her, a sickness at the pit of her stomach due to minus numbers in the old bank account and agitated muscle soreness due to a ripping of carpet action that was at best, foolhardly!!! Standing on the grippers didn't help either....who knew grippers are the carpet equivalent of crocodile teeth?

So....what to do?

Well, Gym Ninja has had to cancel her trip to Vegas in April before she'd even booked it. She has had to post stuff on eBay to try and raise funds. She's really going to have to focus on  planning a whole months worth of food shopping for March to keep costs low and cut down on waste. But does this mean non organic now seeing as organic costs so much?
Just because Gym Ninja is broke, she does not wish to stuff chemicals into her body! There are ways and means you know...ways and means...starting tonight with home made organic broccoli soup.
Thus follows Gym Ninja's  quick easy and cheap Soup Recipe:

Panic Organic Broke Broccoli Soup

Grab some great big chunks of organic broccoli, stalk and all!
Stuff them into a microwavable bowl.
Chuck in some crushed organic garlic cloves.
Boil up the kettle and mix up some Knorr Vegetable Stock (complete with chemicals as Gym Ninja has yet to source an organic vegetable stock!).
Tip radioactive vegetable stock onto broccoli and garlic and microwave for a few minutes.
Empty out the bowl into the blender.
Add half a cup of organic semi skimmed milk.

For dessert Gym Ninja will then mix up a scoop of Maximuscle Strawberry Promax Protein powder with 300mls of cold filtered water and copious handfuls of frozen mixed berries, fresh organic blueberries and raspberries. This will thicken the shake until it is almost a sorbet-like consistency. Gym Ninja will then spoon this into her mouth (having left a suitable time period following her Panic Organic Soup so as not to become water logged!).

Mmm. Actually this is non-sarcastic. both of those things are nice and tasty in Gym Ninja's opinion. No need to eat junk just because one is broke you know. For instance, at lunch time Gym Ninja dined on a tub of cottage cheese and an organic apple.  Wow. Jealous? You? Uh huh! ;-)

Oh and if you are also trying to save money then click on the Maximuscle link at the handy side bar to the they have an offer on for Thermobol, the fat burner! You buy two bottles for just £54 instead of £71.98 (so you save £17.98). Worth buying if you use it often. They are also running an offer on a tub of Promax protein powder  with Viper Energy  Drinks for a bundle price of £39, saving you £18.98. The offers end on 1st March so order now if you use their stuff. Oh and whilst you are on their site there is a chance to win spondoolies by shooting a small video of how Maximuscle products helped you!


You don't ALL have to be as broke as Gym Ninja!

On that note, Gym Ninja is off to look for brown money down the back of the sofa...every little helps apparently!

Toodle Pip!

Gym Ninja xx