Sunday 2 May 2010

'Fess up! JackaNinja fairy tale time

Uh oh!

Gym Ninja was hit by a 'human' moment yesterday. Yesireebob she was! The old food craving came a-knocking (damned hormones eh?).   Well, Gym Ninja 'says' it came a-knocking but in truth it had a sledgehammer and one of those police-style battering rams...

As you are aware, Gym Ninja planned an outdoor run Saturday. No Spin as the fab instructor was off, so Gym Ninja got her running gear on, set her Polar Heart Rate monitor to 'go go go' and off she went...

Run to the end of the road....round the corner and round another corner towards the road that takes Gym Ninja to the promenade and...
Oh!
Gym Ninja found herself detouring to the left, along a side street and appeared to be heading towards her parents house.  They live about 15 to 20 minutes of run time away and Gym Ninja had suddenly decided that she'd go combine her run with a visit. Nice eh?

But this wasn't Gym Ninja's true reason. NO! There was a naughty Nutella Pixie in Gym Ninja's head. Gym Ninja's mother (Mum Ninja) had bought her some as a 'surprise'. NO! Nutella is BANNED in Gym Ninja world due to it's 'more-ish' nature, so had insisted it stay at her Parents house for safety reasons,  yet and NOW look what was happening? Her run was being dictated by the call of the Hazelnut........

By the time Gym Ninja had reached her parents house she was salivating at the thought of Nutella. A quick 'Hi' to Dad Ninja as he was sitting outside in the sun, straight into the house, the kitchen and...

*cue lights, angelic choir music and circling cherubic Nutella Pixies*

There it was!  A big jar too, the blighter! Sitting there, waiting.......
Gym Ninja grabbed a spoon and delved in!

Within seconds Sister Ninja appeared and stood at the door. Gym Ninja stopped, with a spoonful of Nutella hovering by her lips.

"Er, won't you be sick if you try & run after eating that?" Pointed out Sister Ninja sensibly.

"Noooooo it'll be fine I'm sure!"  Gym Ninja brushed off the warning and ate about 4 spoons of the chocolately evilness before forcing herself to back away from the jar.

*POW*

Well hellooooooooooooooo guilt! Yep, Guilt rolled up. A big FAT Guilt Pixie fluttered next to GN's ear and started to whisper the following...

"Oooh, what did you go and eat that for? You know you've a photoshoot in less than 10 days time"

Grrr. Gym Ninja screwed up her eyes.

"I can see it sticking itself to your arse and hips you know" Continued Guilt Pixie.
"You may want to reconsider the bikini photo you planned...? It's for the best...."

Seriously, who needs self-control when you have a Guilt Pixie? That was it! Gym Ninja didn't fear the Barf Monster (aka being sick on route home). She was headed out of the door before the final spoonful of Nutella had secreted itself along her thighs....

Run run run.....hmm, no feeling of sickness yet...........run run run run run....oooh, still no feeling of sickness.....and so the return 20 minute run continued. Not once did Gym Ninja have to stop to regurgitate the Hazelnut horrors of Nutella....not once! Remarkable! Meanwhile, throughout the run there was an in-ear commentary from the ever-charming Guilt Pixie...

"Yeh right, like this 20 minute run is even gonna touch the sides of burning off what you just ate Pig Face!" 

However despite swearing she'd never ever do this again (remember the last time when Gym Ninja stated this eh?)  the Guilt Pixie hung around all day long and all night too.  In fact, he was there this morning when Gym Ninja got out of bed and headed to the shower.

"Was that fat there yesterday?" Enquired the Guilt Pixie 'helpfully', passing Gym Ninja the shower gel.

F*CK OFF Guilt Pixie! Goddamit, that Nutella was SO not worth this!

So today Gym Ninja plans on getting her Inspiration File out and adding to it. She may even do a 'Nutella' Section at the back...maybe some investigation on what the fat does and the sugar content does, and pictures of wibbly wobbly legs etc? Oh, and a shot of the Gilt Pixie, smiling from ear to ear doing a 'thumbs up' pose....

Gym Ninja x