Friday 7 May 2010

Numb Ninja

Poor Gym Ninja!

Gym Ninja didn't blog yesterday due to numbness in her arms and hands. This has been brought on through 10 months of driving a company car (the Blandmobile) that is FAR too big for her frame.  Initially it was causing intense lower back pain. Then it was tightening up her hip flexors, leaving her walking like the Tin Ninja every time she got out of the car!

Journeys that would usually not necessitate a stop half way on route now often required more than 1 stop just so GN could stretch out and 'fight' the pain. Not good when you drive for a living! It started to get worse when it spread to the upper trapezius and shoulder area: one time GN had to go home as the weight of the car was pulling on a recent shoulder injury.

Anyhow, this week it has finally reached the point whereby Gym Ninja started to notice that her arms and hands were going numb as she drove. The back of course was aching, and the achiness was radiating down the arms. By now it meant that Gym Ninja's hands didn't have full power when trying to grip anything, & the seatbelt aggravated the nerve endings! Uh oh! Off to the Drs with Gym Ninja!!!!!

A 7.50am appointment for the next day was made (golly gosh, who knew Doctors started so early?) and Gym Ninja tottered into the waiting room for her appointment.

"That's a lovely suit!" Said the receptionist, motioning to Gym Ninja's bottle green skirt suit (FAR nicer than that just made it sound btw).

Oooh, it's such a long time since GN has been to the Drs she wasn't aware that clothing comments were given as a rather nice NHS standard? She then sat down near a large old man and waited for her name to be called.

*BING!*

Over on the LCD on the wall appeared the words..

GYM NINJA TO SEE DR NINJA-HEALER IN ROOM 3.

Great. No such thing as secrecy in this place eh? Why not flash up a photo whilst you're at it, with bank details and a Google Map Street View of Gym Ninja's address? Gym Ninja stood up and headed towards the double doors that lead to the treatment rooms.

"You're going the wrong way love!" Shouted the large man and pointed Gym Ninja in the opposite direction.
See? Gym Ninja hasn't been here for so long she has no clue where anything is and most likely was just about to walk into a store cupboard full of cleaning fluids and a Henry Hoover.

Once with the Dr, Gym Ninja explained her symptoms and how she'd been complaining to her Employers since November about the car.  The Dr nodded & suggested GN speak to their HR Department? Gym Ninja then collapsed into hysterical laughing (indicative of the fact there is NO HR department at her place of work!).  Gym Ninja  was then examined by the Dr (well, prodded really and made to bend over like a Rag Doll..hmm!) who conceded that she did indeed have something that 'Caused him concern'.
Great.
So the Dr suggested that she tell her Muppet Manager to refer her to Occupational Health to assess the car and in the interim he was more than prepared to prescribe Acupuncture and/or Physio to treat the problem.

Thank GOODNESS it's not all in Gym Ninja's head.....Yet how bad is it when you end up at the Drs due to your job making you injured? Gym NInja immediately rang the Muppet Manager and explained what had happened.

'Occupational Health Advisor?" He repeated.

'Yep" Said Gym Ninja.

"I see....so...will YOU be paying for that then?" He asked......

*FUME*


NO!!!!!!!!!!!! Gym Ninja will NOT be paying for it! So now it is left in the hands of Muppet Manager which doesn't bode well.  It'll be right under the list of Procrastination 101s he does every day!!!!!!

By the end of play yesterday GN was too achy and tired from driving and the nerve damage that was causing her hands to go numb to even contemplate a trip to the gym, which is annoying as the impending photo shoot is on Wednesday of next week (eek!). Great again! Work is just determined to make a physical wreck of a Ninja! So she sent herself home and lay on the bed as her nerves danced about and throbbed down her arms and back.

Then Gym NInja had an idea!

She grabbed her Foam Roller and decided to try some foam rolling to iron out the tightness. The cats looked on as GN maneuvered herself over the giant piece of foam. All was going OK...some tightness and tenderness down the side lats so GN held those tender points until it subsided. Fab, so now for the back...

Gym NInja rolled carefully down the roller ironing out her tightness....good good good good good good...

HOLY SCHMOLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHRRRRR!

Everyone, meet the large broad flat sheath of fascia that stretches across the lower lumbar area, also known as...
Thoracolumbar Fascia. 
LOADS of muscles attach onto this area, and it's a bit like the strings on a corset that pull everything in! Not just muscular but skeletal attachments here too btw! It has a tensile strength of 2000 pounds per square inch!

Anyhow this blighter SCREAMED when Gym Ninja foam rolled it. So resting on the point of tension wasn't exactly 'fun times ahoy'!!!!!! However once done, Gym Ninja felt far more relaxed, less achy and rather pleased with herself..to the point whereby she celebrated with a Foam Roller hugging photo album for her social networking page!!!!!!  Damned muscle relaxant endorphins messing with GN's mental health. Maybe the fact that there are now 5 photos of GN hugging and smiling with the Foam Roller in existence is evidence enough of work induced injury...?

So there you have it! Gym Ninja and her blog scuppered by dead armsand hands courtesy of a Passat! Boo hiss!

But now it is the WEEKEND! That means Mini Cooper Driving which does NOT aggravate the issue as GN can reach the bl**dy pedals and steering wheel in that! So Saturday and Sunday will be Slaughter Sessions in Spin, plus leg day and upper body day and plenty of stretching and foam rolling. Gym Ninja will not be defeated by the Blandmobile, nosirebob she won't! So tune in tomorrow for the normal blog updates...

Toodle pip

Gym Ninja & her beloved Foam Roller x