Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Made it! Phew!

You all thought Gym Ninja wasn't gonna blog today eh? Well, it was a close call. Busy busy busy busy busy Ninja! 

How is that? How can one be SO busy despite being Fondant Fancied? Ah well....

So, we are a day behind in factual updates, so allow Gym Ninja to bring you back to Sunday....

*cue whirly going back in time music*

Sunday Car Boot Palava!


4.55am and Gym Ninja's alarm went off. On a SUNDAY! How very rude!
However, being jobless GN needs to raise cash and what better way (OK, so there ARE better ways) to do it than selling old tat at a car boot sale?  Gym Ninja had 45 minutes to get ready, eat breakfast (porridge mixed with Maximuscle Promax protein powder) and drive the stuffed-to-bursting Ninjamobile to collect Mum Ninja and her junk (ahem, quality second hand goods) before heading off to the  carboot site.

6.20am and GN and her mum pulled up at the venue and parked in the field. A very open, exposed field near the sea.  That'd be a field with NO shelter nearby...do bear this in mind for later.

GN and her mum set up their table and deposited all their stuff over it whilst 'Dealers' circled like sharks. Cor blimey it was cold! Gym Ninja had a tracksuit on (had been advised to dress like a chav!) and over that a long sweatshirt with her hood up, plus a hat, and over THAT a zip up coat...you know, to 'blend in' aka Eastenders market stall stylee...

Looks cold eh? IT WAS!!!!!!!

So began the rummaging and bargaining. Gym Ninja had 'over-priced' her goods so that when they bargained her down she'd actually get the real price she wanted. It worked a treat! 

"What's wrong with the sat nav?" Enquired a Dealer

"It's broken. I left it in the glove box on a hot day in Port Talbot and it died of suffocation!" Replied Gym Ninja

"What's wrong with the camera?" Asked another.

"Er I dropped it!" Said Gym Ninja.

"Does the steamer work?" Enquired another Dealer.

"No....." Sighed Gym Ninja. Like come ON! If any of this stuff worked would GN be selling it?

Opposite GN and her mum was a huge white van being unloaded by a rough looking family. 10 bottles of Pepsi....a mount of tinned goods...a rocking horse....some clothes....and a plastic kids painting easel with a hand drawn sign that said..


What? WHY would anyone think that a car boot sale seller who draw signs on a kids easel would offer them the most competitive price on gold??????

One of the items on Gym Ninja's table was the empty box belonging to her work phone...inside was a computer cable for it and the charger and instruction book. Gym Ninja figured that she may a well flog them! On the box said *booklet, cable and charger £3* so people would know it was just those items..

There must have been 35 people throughout the morning who opened the box, rummaged in it and then said...'Where's the phone?'

What....a brand new Nokia for £3? Really? Gym Ninja's mum thought it was hysterical! Especially when one guy, looking at the type of phone it was (or wasn't as the case may be seeing as it wasn't in the box) said..

"Oh, it's like one of them Blueberries innit?"

Gym Ninja's mum dived under the table in a fit of laughter as GN tried to keep a straight face and refrain from saying 'You mean BLACKberry'?

Half way through the morning & Gym Ninja and Mum Ninja were almost frozen to death. They'd picked a spot that was like a wind tunnel and their feet had started to freeze. To make matters worse, there were no loos and GN REALLY needed to go! No warming cup of tea for GN in case it tipped her over the edge!

To sum up the people, please see the pic below...

 Yeh...she had a dog in her trolley.........

Also on Gym Ninja's table was a salad spinner. Much to Mum Ninja's amusement (yeh, Mum Ninja finds many things funny!) every 20 minutes someone would pick he lid off the salad spinner and peer inside...why? Did they expcect salad in there? Gym Ninja wanted to use the iTOOT farting noise app on her iPhone on the next nosey Salad Spinner peeker, but her mum banned her!

Gym Ninja had 2 old work briefcases (from other jobs) for sale at bargain prices. One was a pull along Pilots case for a laptop.  A foreign guy was playing with it, unzipping the compartments for the laptop and pen sections..

"Eeez zis for ze holidays?" He asked, unzipping a pocket at the front.

"Can I use ziz for holidays?" He repeated.

'Yeh, holidays, business, mostly business but yeh, holidays" Said Gym Ninja, desperate for a sale.  Oh and yeh...he bought it (but GN knocked off a few quid as she felt guilty!)

By 11.30am Gym Ninja and her mum were close to death through sheer cold. A few hours before, GN had been SO cold she'd attempted to wear one of the jumpers her mum had put for sale on the stand, & sneaked into the car to put it on.


Gym Ninja forgot about her outsized head! Yeh, not only does GN have a long body and short legs, but a huge head too and the head would NOT fit through the hole. To begin with GN actually thought she was stuffing her head through a sleeve until she realised otherwise. Again, Mum Ninja though this was hysterical.......

By 11.30am GN and her mum had given up and packed up the car. GN only managed to make £40 but that's almost 2 whole boxes of Promax Diet Bars...so better than nothing eh?

Tomorrow will be a gym blog so rest assured normal service will be resumed......until then, sleep tight Ninjarettes!

Gym Ninja x